Timebuster

Phases of Relapse.

Many people new in recovery and some that have been around for awhile may believe that relapse is an event. In other words, they believe that one they JUST all of a sudden they used drugs or drank alcohol after having some period of abstinence. The fact is that relapse is a process. This means that before a person returns to drug or alcohol use there are warning signs. This warning signs show up in ones behavior, attitude, thinking, or feelings and can show up in all four at once.

Therefore, it is important to incorporate in your recovery a way of monitoring your relapse warning signs so that you can prevent yourself from progressing through the phases and ultimately returning to your addiction. Most useful is to take a daily inventory or doing a nightly check off of the relapse warning signs and then incorporate a strategy to work your way out of the phase that you may be in. It is important to know that it is possible to go from one phase to the last phase, where using and drinking has begun, in a short period of time.

PHASE 1(internal change) During this phase you look good on the outside.
1.Increased stress
2.Change in thinking: you begin to feel that your recovery program is not as important as it used to be. Begin to feel that you don't need to put forth as much effort now that things seem ok, or the program doesn't seem to help so you say "why bother."
3.Change in feeling: start having unpleasant feelings that you don't like, like things are going your way when you know they aren't. feeling
depressed, like nothing is working out.
4.Change in Behavior

PHASE 2 (Denial)You stop telling other what you honestly are feeling or thinking.
5. Worrying about yourself: you feel uneasy about the changes in your thinking, feelings and behavior. you feel afraid that you won't be able to reamin sober but don't want to think or talk about it.
6. Denying that you're worried

PHASE 3 (Avoidance and Defensiveness)You avoid anyone or anything that will force you to be honest about you.
7. Believing I'll never use alcohol or drug : over confidence
8. Worrying about others instead of yourself
9. Defensiveness
10. Compulsive Behavior
11. Impulsive Behavior
12. Tendencies toward loneliness: start feeling uncomfortable around others and start spending more time alone.

PHASE 4 (Crisis Building)You start having problem in sobriety.
12. Tunnel Vision
13. Minor Depression
14. Loss of Constructive Planning
15. Plans begin to fail: Tend to overreact and mismanage each problem in a way that creates a bigger problem.

PHASE 5 (Immobilization)You begin to feel trapped or can't get started doing what you know you need to do.
16. Daydreaming and wishful thinking
17. Feeling that nothing can be solved
18. Immature wish to be happy: have a vague desire to be happy or have things work out but don't set up any plans to make those things happen. Wishing magically that something will happen to rescue you from your problems.

PHASE 6 (Confusion and Overreaction)You have trouble thinking clearly, irritable and tend to overreact.
19. Difficulty in thinking clearly
20. Difficulty in managing feelings and emotions
21. Difficulty in Remembering things
22. Periods of confusion
23. Difficulty in managing stress
24. Irritation with friends
25. Easily angered

PHASE 7 (Depression)You stop doing the things you usaully do. You think life is not worth living.
26. Irregular Eating habits
27. Lack of desire to take action
28. Difficulty sleeping restfully
29. Loss of daily structure
30. Periods of Deep depression

PHASE 8 (Behavior loss of control)You are out of control but not willing to admit it.
31. Irregular attendance at NA/AA or treatment meetings
32. An I don't care attitude
33. Open rejection of help
34. Dissatisfaction with life
35. Feeling of powerlessness and helpless

PHASE 9 (Recognition of loss of Control)You realize how severe your problems are, but have become so isolated that you feel there is no one to turn to.
36. Difficulty with physical coordination and accidents
37. Self-pity
39. Thoughts of social use
40. Conscious lying
41. Complete loss of self confidence

PHASE 10 (Option reduction)You feel no one can help you and that there is only three options; insanity, suicide or self-medication with alcohol and drugs.
42. Unreasonable resentments
43. Discontinue all treatment
44. Overwhelming Loneliness, Frustration, anger, and tension.
45. Loss of behavioral control

PHASE 11 (alcohol and drug use)You return to alcohol and drugs, try to control it but once again you realize your addiction is destroying your life.
46. Attempting control use
47. Disappointment, shame, guilt
48. Loss of control: problem use begins
49. Life and health problem

"A day in which an addict or alcoholic does not use or drink is a good day. A day in which an addict or alcoholic does not use or drink when their head tell them to, is a GREAT day."

Ivan

Murray4x5

Thanks for that Ivan,

I never want to have to quit again, so knowing the signs is really, really important to me. I'm going to print this post.

Can you recommend further reading on this topic?

Murray

stugotz

I only had one phase. That was when I decided to drink, the rest was just for show. Keep it simple....

Mataleao

OOF! One major relapse is all I ever want to have to go through.....It was BRUTAL!

spryte

I've relapsed lately.

Thank you for this post

I don't know where my thought process fits into the phases, I'm a bit lazy right now to work it through.

Personally, I found the planning part of it interesting. The physical craving is gone after a certain point, so it's all in the mind - the mental obsession. I was wanting to drink pretty well continuously after I stopped, but I managed to not drink despite that mental obsession.

So, why did I stop managing to fight the mental obsession? It didn't go away, after all.

When I drank again - the thought, the decision to drink was made well in advance of the drinking.

I suppose one could explain it by a process, the right constellation of circumstance (stress) and thought (reaction), but for me, this is what stands out:

I wish I had told on myself, because I had my mind made up weeks before I started drinking again. But I didn't want to tell on myself (aye, there's the rub, I suspect)

I decided to do it; and a few weeks later (maybe over a month later), I did it.

Sigh...not much more to add. Your post is good, and thank you for it.

stugotz

I see an awful lot of excuses in those phases.

spryte

I guess excuses take many forms. Our thoughts are all the same. They are thoughts.

But our thoughts can be characterized in different ways.

I think each person finds (hopefully!) a helpful way of thinking about their thoughts (awkward to say that!).

This is a way that people might find helpful.

spryte

By the way, stugotz, my post was a long, flowery version of yours

You got to my point very well.

Taking5

That list is way too long, complicated and over-analyzed. It sounds like something a non-alcoholic wrote for a med school class as opposed to something that a real drunk went through personally. To quote Confucius "The truth suffers from too much analysis".

stugotz

There isnt any problem that cant be made worse by drinking.

spryte

I agree that the list might not be for everyone and I agree that there is no problem that is not made worse by drinking, but I also think that drinking is just awful and that people should be given as much information as possible.

If it clicks, well then, great. If not, they will continue to search for answers.

In all honesty, the solutions offered in the Big Book didn't come to me in a drunken dream. They were offered up when I was sober. The Big Book is no walk in the park. There is plenty of analysis and detail and information and work to it.

I didn't get sober and realize that I was living the Big Book my whole life. Just parts of it.

Each person's solution is there own. I hope everyone finds one.

mimi54321

Great post sryte, I find it really helpful to see it written out like that because I am so damn good at lying to myself I'm not on that downward slope to relapse. Just telling myself not to drink doesn't work for me, I need to catch myself before I get too far.

Thanks

CarolD

Each time I returned to drinking.....after my decision to stop
I was unwilling to make a specific radical change in my lifestyle.

I was also unaware of the fact my brain and body no
longer processed alcohol properly...until I read
"Under The Influence"

I don't consider these were relapses
as I was not totoally committed to God and AA.

stugotz

Bravo!

spryte

Ok, you guys, to be totally clear and give FULL disclosure, I'm drunk right now.

But I'm still further along with the Big Book than I was after 4 months of sobriety. Honestly. I don't drink every day anymore. I am very close to stopping again.

I just know you're going to write me off, but I also know that I need to start being honest, so I'm being honest. My heart was in the right place when I posted earlier.

spryte

Ok. Sweet fancy Moses. This is how I got to where I am in some respects.

I know how to say what people want to hear. I know how to say it in a way that can't be shaken. I have an eye for detail and a flair for drama. I know how to read everyone. Everyone: powerful, powerless, drunk, sober, mentally ill. Except I can't read myself.

I am so tuned in to everyone else and their complex problems. But I can't tune into my own basic needs. I don't even know who I am.

CarolD

spryte.....
No one here is going to slam the SR door on you
for being drunk. We all have been there too.
We all are here for the same reason
to support each other and share what works for us.

Please do quit again...and stay safe while you are drinking.
No driving or wandering around in dangerous places.

yeahgr8

Thanks thats a great post:-)

I can understand the various stages now by what i have learned about myself from the steps, CBT counseling, reading books and listening to old timers...if i had read that list in the first few months of sobriety i wouldn't have been able to identify at all...

and awareness of the different stages or potential signs of heading towards a relapse is great if you have a real program of recovery in place and a load of f2f support because i seriously doubt that an alcoholic can think themselves out of the downward spiral...i never could!

mimi54321

Of course we wouldn't write you off! As carol says we've all been there. I think you're insight into other people's recovery means you already know the things to look for, you just need help directing it at your own life.

You can do it, get sober and stay safe

Boleo

This more or less corresponds to my daily step 10&11.