pongo

I've heard this phrase many times in my recovery - that God (HP) is righteous, has all the answers to life's questions. I have a new insight into God's leading that I wondered if anyone here could relate to or has feedback about.

Beginning with the premise that God is always right, and God does not want us to be ill or to suffer with alcoholism, then when we are tempted to drink or when another person invites us to partake, we need to remember that God is right and follow Him. I think that one of the particularly devastating aspects of alcoholism is that it make us doubt ourselves - our instinct, our knowledge, our interpretation of events. At times I have doubted my sanity and my grip on reality, not to mention my own trustworthiness.

Something I am really struggling with right now is that I don't know why God has favored me with so much in life. Why am I sober? Why was I able to recover? Why have I been given victory over so many demons in my life when other people I care about are still struggling? I find myself wondering about God's righteousness. At one time I trusted the advice and concern of family members and friends, and I have learned that advice is not always aligned with God's message of strength.

ElegantlyWasted

" I think that one of the particularly devastating aspects of alcoholism is that it make us doubt ourselves - our instinct, our knowledge, our interpretation of events. At times I have doubted my sanity and my grip on reality"

I've come to believe that the crucial element to all successful recoveries is cultivating and practicing some sort of faith in ourselves and others as well as some conception of a higher power. Past problemed behavior patterns need to be changed, so in this sense a sort of conversion experience is created. The irony is that we gain control by realizing past techniques of control and survival are in effect false Gods. The other irony is that there is also a "once I was blind but now I see (but I'm really still blind) effect that occurs early in recovery that some never transcend AKA addiction transference. As I've become more aware I have a newfound respect for the depth and wisdom of AA's seeming cliches. Fundamentally one should be free to believe and do whatever they want so long as it does not harm others, which is a little easier to say that to always practice in the real world, but a worthy and meaningful persuit nonetheless.

Tommyh

I think that one of the particularly devastating aspects of alcoholism is that it make us doubt ourselves -

great point,and very valid

As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action.

which are we?More agitated or doubtful now that we are sober?
doubtful
a condition we really do not talk much about
great discovery and great progress on your part

Boleo

Wholeness is one place - Incompleteness is the other.
(Adi Sankara)

I suspect God may have tried creating a perfect world and learned a valuable lesson from it - Perfection can not love perfection.

For love to take place - there must be a need to give and a need to take.

pongo

EG, I agree with you fundamentally, I am a liberal but a believer. I think that like the hummingbird fluttering her wings in India, we cannot always know what impact our actions may have on others - how others may be harmed. I will follow God's direction, while making many mistakes and missteps along the way. That's the only faith I have in myself.

When I lean on God I am able to trust my thoughts, my beliefs, my interpretations, my feelings. I was granted that gift through sobriety. However, it is easy to doubt the righteousness of God when I have no idea why He chose me. I'm just an ordinary person ashamed of much of my past. Why do I deserve God's blessing? Maybe it's wrong and futile to even question it.

bballdad, I am doubtful. I have a difficult relationship with my ex-husband and while in my heart I have forgiven him I have to remind myself all the time that he can no longer define me or manipulate me. He is not right, God is. My ex is one of the few people now in my life who also knew me as a drunk.

Boleo, if God is perfect then He can't make a mistake and He doesn't need to learn anything. I know I am what God tells me I am and not what I think I am. I am no longer drinking, and yet I have so far to go.

Mark75

But didn't he create the perfect world in Eden?

I always wondered when reading Genesis whether God anticipated our exercise of free will or was He surprised or dissapointed... Was being sent out from Eden an expression of His love for us... Getting to Boleo's point... Or wrath?

Neat thread!

Mark

stugotz

Freewill comes to mind. Just sayin....

pongo

Well, since you asked, I think that God knew that Adam and Eve would exercise their free will, and that God wanted it that way. He wants us to choose to follow Him, not be robots in His service. I'm not one who slavishly follows bible mythology, but at the same time I want God to be omniscient and omnipotent. I want to be able to trust Him.

As an active alcoholic I was not following God's path for my life. It has taken me a dozen years of sobriety just about, to figure out how important God's righteousness is to my peace of mind, my relationships, and my sobriety. When I listen to everything that people want me to do, their perspectives, their advice, I am so lost and confused. I feel the same way I did as an active drinker - totally lacking a reliable source of information and truth.

I feel guilty and wasteful for the years of blindly stumbling around on my own - guessing what might happen next. I now find God's pull irresistible, and yet I wonder, why me? Why am I favored? I don't deserve God's help or love.

Mark75

Shame was a big part of my experience in early recovery.... It took repeated inventory to get "at that"... Anyway...

The God of my understanding loves each one of us unconditionally, He is kind... He is the Father, we are his children.... Just as as I would always be there for any of my children who made bad choices... He is there for us.

I am not God, I can't know why He bestows His Grace on me... I know I have to seek it, want it, and most of all..... accept it.

Mark

Music

The gift of the desire to not drink, came to me on March 1st 1977. I haven't had a drink since. The desire came to me as a gift but I didn't look at it that way until later when I realized how many times I tried to not drink and failed. I was told one time that my conscience is that little spot in my being where God and I meet. When I was drinking and those meetings took place, I turned my back and went my own way whereas today, I have a tendency to listen to what God has to say. So many times I turned my back and failed! It's no wonder I doubted myself. I don't douby myself so much any more. Why? 'Cause I pay more attention to what God has to say and things have a way of working out. The secret is it's not up to me! Pongo, I don't know that there's a way to find out why I've stayed sober while people around me don't/can't. All I know is God chose me to give that gift of the desire to not drink. Today is a gift/present. Some people open the gift and appreciate what they find and others are like spoiled little kids. Either the gift isn't what they wanted, or the gift is appreciated. Which one? Who knows??

Lily

I don't "think" I don't deserve Gods love, I "know" I don't but that is the beauty of Gods love for me. He doesn't "need" me but he chose me anyway and he offered me the free gift of eternal life and that just puts a smile on my face.

GreenTea

There is much to be done in this world. If you are free to carry out the work in His humility, will you?

Once again given the freedom to choose, what will you choose to do?

pongo

I will choose to do what God directs me to do. I'm still learning how to hear God's voice. I still worry that I'm not hearing Him clearly. Recently I was given a very strong message of what I should do and I kinda "missed" it - until a consequence gave me an "aHA!" moment. THAT'S what you meant, God. Okay.

What God wants of me isn't easy or simple. It's right on the edge of what I think I can handle. My sobriety isn't in jeopardy but I have to keep reminding myself that God is right, not me, not my ex-husband, not my family. It is a struggle to overcome a negative mind, negative thought-process that became so very entrenched when I was an alcoholic. Years later I still feel the effects.

CarolD

Pongo....

When I was dealing with many negetive thoughts
my psychiatrist gave me this little bit of advice...

"When one comes... and immediately replace
that thought with two positive ones"

Took me awhile to get the knack of this
I thought it was downright
but it did work out to my benefit.

Sending prayers for your peace

Mark75

So often true for myself also...

RobbyRobot

Hi Pongo,

Don't sweat the small stuff, you know. See the bigger picture in your journey with God. Guilt is such a useless experience but it does inform us that we have done wrong, or at least we think we have done wrong. Other than that guilt should be dumped and we move on with living rightly with God as much as is possible for that day. We seek out the truths of what God wants from us and for us. We come to Him with needs surpassing our understanding and so bewilderment is operation normal, imo.

None of us deserve God's help or love, you know, so no favorism there to speak of for any of us. If you can have that awesome journey with God that rockets you into a wonderful spiritual life with real gifts and accomplishments then for all means go with it!! Allow God and others decide for themselves their own actions. For those who you feel have missed out somehow be generous and giving to them in God's name and you'll be as fine as rain in no time, you know.

The past is the past. The world is unfolding just as it is for all of us in our own ways. Having a faith in God allows us to not be blind to the sufferings of others. Help where you can, seek out more times and ways, and then simply enjoy your own life Pongo. Really enjoy living your life. Its enough to love others as we love ourselves. Don't sweat it out.

Rob

pongo

Carol, funny you should mention that "duh" idea about replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. I've been trying to do that very thing, but sometimes all I can manage is to recognize, "There's a negative thought. There's another one..." They come so fast!

Robby, I know I am too emotional at times, too attached to things that don't matter. At least I know that God has a sense of humor because he often makes that clear to me in totally ridiculous ways! It is a very laudable goal to enjoy one's life! It is such a blessing to be able to do that, and I do aspire to that awesome journey you speak of.

Thanks to all who replied.