MeAndOnlyMe

screwed up

DayTrader

Not really "screwed up" THAT your drank. It assumes you still have a choice in whether you drink or not. If you're the type of alcoholic discussed in the Big Book......you LOST the choice some time back.

Maybe what happened is you were given another reason to reapply yourself to sobriety. LOL......I was given plennnnnnnnnty of reasons before I finally acknowledged them.

The best part is it's already in the past, there's nothing you can do to change it, and there's no sense in continuing to relive the past. What matters most is what you do from this moment on. ---seize the moment and move on.

LovesToTravel

but I am glad that you care enough about yourself to admit it to yourself and others (SR). Many people here understand. Learn from your mistakes and pick yourself up and continue on.

TimeDrain

Try to figure out why it happened and maybe you can change your strategy. There is a way to win , keep going at it.

FBL

I can't count how many times I "screwed up" my sobriety over 29 years of drinking. I used to get drunk every weekend and then vow "never again", only to be right back at it the next weekend. Eventually, I just gave up and started drinking every day for 10 years straight. Finally, just over one year ago, I once again said "never again". This time I really worked on why I got drunk in the first place. I figure I worked hard all those years to stay drunk, I might as well work hard to stay sober. It hasn't always been easy, but it truly does get better and better.

I figure if this "hopeless case" can turn it around, then anybody can.

rws177

I used my relapses as learning tools to push forward. "why did I drink and what can I do to not have it happen again" that worked for me in the past.

smacked

So what are you going to do different this time?

CarolD

A lot of us had false starts on our way to solid sobriety.
Please begin again.....

MeAndOnlyMe

I made a decision yesterday and I'm the only one to be blamed. I'm the only person laying any blame really and it's all on myself.

Today is a new day and I continue to learn from my own mistakes and the mistakes of others and realize that plenty of better people than myself have either slipped or had full on week-long benders as their personal relapses or any number of scenarios in between.

Today I stay sober, enjoy an evening playing outside with my kids, respect my family and keep going. Tomorrow I continue.

Repeat.

MeAndOnlyMe

I appreciate this and since determining I have a problem, I've been approaching myself and my sobriety as sort of an experiment. I searched long and hard inside in order to frame this as my own personal problem and figure out how to first correct and then manage it. Problem statement, initial analysis, cycles of testing, steady state, continued monitoring. Some people believe in a god, some people in nothing, some in AA and some are a mix.

I'm currently thankful for the SR community and being fortunate to learn from my own and others' mistakes.

Thanks, everyone.

MeAndOnlyMe

Hopefully stay sober. Or dry. Or something like that. Same intent as every other time but making it longer. Maybe it was 100 days this time or 1000 or whatever. Every additional day is a success to me - every hour - every minute - everything. I can't predict future failures but I can hopefully continue to learn and adopt behaviors I see as working for others.

stugotz

You didnt screw up, you did what we do. Now do something different. Good luck...

MeAndOnlyMe

Not sure I'm a good member as I've been rather introspective recently.

Best, everyone.

MeAndOnlyMe

Thank you very much.

Dee74

SR is probably the best place for anyone struggling, Me - introspective or not.
Stick around - talk it out

D

Zebra1275

When I get introspective it usually means I'm alone with my thoughts and feelings.

When I'm alone with my thoughts and feelings, self pity can rear it's ugly head. When that happens, I'm one step closer to drinking.

MeAndOnlyMe

I have sort of felt like a failure waiting to happen during my months on this site - like I *would* fail.

I had a good weekend with my family so I'm hoping to get my head back to a good place. And I'm interviewing a new primary care physician soon - remaining hopeful.

MeAndOnlyMe

Approaching 40 yo this month - down about it and being the way I am for the rest of my life.

Certainly not a new nor unique story to the SR crowd.

Dee74

I was 40 when I started my new sober life - it's an ending or a beginning - depending on how you want to look at it

Don't talk yourself out of this - you can do this

D

LovesToTravel

Hey me too! Many people fail and report it and it bothered me. (I try not to read the posts that you can tell are failures.) I was told not to be discouraged by other people's setbacks. And that I can't control other people and this is MY recovery. Lots of people do make it...I am trying to be one of them! Hope you are too!