hi there
 

Hi all. I guess I am struggling like all of you people. I noticed some here have kicked it while others just keep drinking. I hope I am one of the ones that kicks it out the door.

The problem for me is it's a love hate relationship. I believe it makes me a better person but as it progresses through the evening I being a stupid slob, bad mouthed drunken pig that hates himself. The problem arises from not being too happy at anytime in my life growing up. Yeah I had some happy times but I think more bad times than better times. When I get drunk it erases all of this.

So my problem is I have little willpower to stop. I try to manufacture reasons to stop but they always fail. For almost 10 years now I have drank pretty hard. The longest no drink spree was 3 months.

I haven't drank since Sunday, but the weekend is coming and I do love to drink on these days. Maybe I can talk here some and let it out rather than drink.

Nice to meet you all, and thanks.

Hi there tooling. Welcome. Lucky for us we don't need willpower to stop, or most of the sober people I know would still be drunk. The only power it takes, is admitting our powerlessness to a power greater than ourselves. AA works for me, and helped me understand this cunning, baffling, and powerful disease. You may try a few face to face meetings and see if you can find a good fit. Keep hanging around and you'll find out how much love and support there really is in sobriety.

Brian

Welcome to SR!

Does drinking something to 'believe' it makes you a better person sound rational and/or normal?


Keep reading and keep posting!

AG

Welcome tooling!

Keep reading and posting. There's lots of good support and information here. Great folks too.

Love,

Lenina

Hi, tooling, welcome to SR :)

I tried for years to control my drinking and always woke up the next morning thinking I was a weak person with some sort moral failure. But I came here and listened to other people's stories and found out that it's like a rigged game. No matter how hard I try to control my drinking, no matter which methods I use, it's just not possible. Physically I react to alcohol differently than non-alcoholics. Call it an allergy or a disease or whatever, but it has nothing to do with willpower.

Stick around. There are great folks around here :)

Hey tooling

I spent about 20 years trying to forget a lot of bad feelings, memories and self image things by drinking.

The drinking got more and more frequent as time went on, but the bad stuff was still there.

Eventually I nearly died from drinking, so I decided to face the stuff I was drinking over instead.

Best decision I ever made - I used sit there drunkenly and dream of living the live I have now.

If I did it, you can too :)

you'll find a lot of support here :)
D

:welcome Hi tooling - glad you found your way here. That feeling of being a "better person" only lasts for an hour or two and then goes downhill from there, like you said. It seemed like it was helping me too, but it's an illusion. I discovered that it wasn't worth ruining my life, health and mind for a brief period of "forgetting."

Things do get worse if we keep drinking. I hope you keep posting and reading. You'll find alot of support and understanding. It's really helped me stay sober.

Welcome, Tooling! I could've written that post. I can't lie, drinking made me feel good, REALLY GOOD! After 29 years it made me feel so good, that I ended up in the hospital emergency room questioning my own sanity. I finally realized getting drunk every day was just an escape from my real problems. Now that I'm just over one year sober I can see that most of those "problems" weren't nearly as big as I'd made them and they are much easier dealt with sober.

Weekends were my big downfall too. I'd think nothing of polishing off a case (or more) of beer each day. When I got sober, I rediscovered some hobbies that I used to enjoy before drinking took up all of my time. I now find that I don't have ENOUGH time to do everything I want to, especially on the weekends.

Whatever you do, just try to remember where that first drink eventually leads you. Good luck, and stick close to SR.

Wow. A bunch of people that have or are going through the same thing I am. Couldn't ask for a better place.

I woke up this morning and read these replies. I had to go get some things at the store early and found myself thinking of the welcoming support here already. It's enjoyable to hear others stories for me at this point, and think it could help.

I got to go to work, but I'll talk at you all later.

Have a good day and thanks.

Hi Tooling..and Welcome to SR!!! :)

I spent a good 20 something years drinking...(amazing how time flies) and that was all I knew...drinking.... drinking on the weekends....drinking on vacations....drinking just to drink..it consumed me....and for along time I really did think I was having fun....and that I didn't have a drinking problem..although everyone who spent enough time around me ... knew I did....I finally surrendered on January 25,2010....after I was arrested for a DUI...I said to myself..enough is enough...I'm an alcoholic.."normal" drinkers don't get DUI's!!! I was at my lowest point...I do however believe it was a blessing for me.....I am living a sober life and loving it!! There are challenges along the way...but that is life....and it's wonderful to live life without reaching for that bottle!!

Wishing you the very best in your recovery!! :)

New here, 2.5 days without a glass of wine
 

I stumbled on this site while trying to find some reviews, comments on a book I recently bought: Seven Weeks to Sobriety. I am interested if anyone has any information on the nutrition plan it works with. I have read the book over several times and the connection between disease, body and drinking makes a lot of sense to me.
I had my first drink at 15 and I hope the last on Tuesday night at almost 50. I have tried so often in the past to be able to only have one glass of wine at dinner - but I am not able to do that, not because I don't want to, but because I simply can't.
I am terrified of this coming weekend, of upcoming parties, BBQ's etc that I have used wine to turn me into a fab party person, who will I be sober ?????

That is exactly how I have felt, however at a recent family event, I made a complete ass of myself, blaming everyone around me for my unhappiness - during my sober hours in the days following, I realized that I was on the brink of losing those who love me the most, my family, I have surrended the bottle not in weakness, but in strenght. I like the sober person I am.

Tooling....:wavey:
Welcome to our recovery community
Glad you are finding us usefl.

finne....:wave:

No... I've not read that book....I was already
successfully AA recovered when it was published.

However...with my doctors permission I did follow an
eating plan + vitamins and supplements in early sobriety.

I found it in my favorite "handbook" on alcoholism
"Under The Influence" by Milam & Ketcham.
To find something like it....Google for hypoglycemia.

Welcome to our SR community
and keep posting with us.....:yup:

Ya know what, not all of us are 'suffering', in fact, my life has become blissful as I've been sober for longer and longer. I was certainly suffering when I was still drinking though, so I understand how you're feeling.

No struggling here. I learned that I never have to live like that again and so can you.

Wow. It's hard to believe a month ago I posted this looking to make it through the weekend without drinking. i failed. And I have drank every weekend since.

I have come to realize if I am not 100 percent wanting to quit I won't. It only takes 1 percent to want to keep drinking to keep me drinking.

I didn't want to come on here and say i failed every weekend. But i did want to come on here and say I am 100 percent I am going to make it this weened.

There is no other way out of this other than to stop. I can't stay drunk all day everyday. I'll die. I might get bored, I will be tired, and probably mentally a little chemically off. But I have to believe my body will adapt to being straight and I will feel better down the road 6 months.

Keeping myself busy is my goal. I want to keep my mind off of what my body is doing behind the scene. I don't want to look in the mirror every day and look for changes. or feel how I feel everyday. I just want to forget all of this like it's a bad dream.

Glad you came back and posted, tooling. A lot of us have had false starts, but the whole point of it is to not give up on yourself. You're a worthwhile person and deserve to live a life free from addiction.

Hang out here this weekend as much as you need to. Just put your sobriety first and take it a day at a time. Oh yeah, forgive yourself, too. Alcoholism is "cunning, baffling and powerful" as they say in AA. We're not losers - we just need help to stay sober. :ghug3:ring

Have read 7 weeks to sobriety...very interesting and helpful. The vitamin regime is very intense and I think helpful..in conjunction with other things I think a valuable tool for sobriety.

Well, it looks like I might make it this weekend sober.

I did have some mental battles trying to justify getting drunk. But I kept telling myself that i want to be healthy and feel and look good. Then, the drunk side would say, "who cares about all that crap. Just get wasted and have fun. It's your life."

It went back and forth awhile. Then I just decided to go eat, stuffed my belly now I'm just relaxing and getting tired.

I had no idea if I was going to make it. If I make it through the night I won't drink on Sunday. I rarely did at anytime.