Afraid there is no help for me
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
I'm with Robby TuffNut...I didn't trust doctors either...but frankly, my own track record in self medication was nothing less but disastrous.
No matter how well read, or intelligent, or intuitive or self aware we are, I believe we sometimes need another outside perspective.
D
No matter how well read, or intelligent, or intuitive or self aware we are, I believe we sometimes need another outside perspective.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: On a big rock in the middle of the ocean
Posts: 43
Originally Posted by suki44883 
Sorry you were offended by my post; that was not my intention. The thing is, alcohol kills. It kills people both directly and indirectly. This is serious stuff. Maybe it's because there is a history of alcoholism in my family. Maybe it's because my father died of cirrhosis of the liver. Maybe it's because I saw myself traveling down that same road. Who knows what it is, but it is serious business to me. I read all kinds of excuses here of why some people refuse to do either this or that to help themselves. Bad past experiences, word of mouth, etc. The truth of the matter is, until a person is willing to do whatever it takes to get and remain sober, they have not yet gotten serious enough. That may sound harsh to some people, but it is a fact. As long as there are certain things a person says they won't do or won't try again, then they haven't yet reached their bottom. No offense intended. It is what it is. Good luck to you.
Tuffy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: On a big rock in the middle of the ocean
Posts: 43
To Rob: Thanks for the very awesome input. I only drank occasionally on the meds, like one or two on social occasions. I don't want to make absolute statements, so I'll just say that I don't think I'm physically dependent on alcohol yet. I drink too much, too often, and for the wrong reasons, and for me that is enough reason to want to stop. I won't take meds again, that's just not a possibility for me, and as I share more of my story maybe you'll understand why. And maybe not. LOL.
To Dee: I'm open to all points of view, and I appreciate yours. There are only two things I know in advance I won't do. One is take meds, and the other is go to AA. I know that some people think that one or the other of those things, or both of them are necessities.
Today is a good day. I'm staying away from a 4th of July party I was supposed to go to so I won't drink. I feel less hopeless today simply from reading all of your posts, so thanks again to all.
To Dee: I'm open to all points of view, and I appreciate yours. There are only two things I know in advance I won't do. One is take meds, and the other is go to AA. I know that some people think that one or the other of those things, or both of them are necessities.
Today is a good day. I'm staying away from a 4th of July party I was supposed to go to so I won't drink. I feel less hopeless today simply from reading all of your posts, so thanks again to all.
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
I think many of us feel hopeless. I truly thought nothing could help me. Thank goodness I was wrong, been sober six years now. I do know alcoholism is treatable and so is depression. I suffered from both of them. Today, I live a happy, healthy lifestyle.
You can read and study about your condition. I did they same. I searched and searched for a way to get better, but did nothing about it. What it boils down to...what are you going to do about it? It takes action, action, and more action to change things and get well. When you are ready, your will take action.
I think the biggest obstacles that stand in the way of our recovery, is ourselves. That is what I've discovered through my sober journey.
Welcome aboard and good luck. I'm glad you took the courage and initiative to reach out. That is the first step in finding a solution.
You can read and study about your condition. I did they same. I searched and searched for a way to get better, but did nothing about it. What it boils down to...what are you going to do about it? It takes action, action, and more action to change things and get well. When you are ready, your will take action.
I think the biggest obstacles that stand in the way of our recovery, is ourselves. That is what I've discovered through my sober journey.
Welcome aboard and good luck. I'm glad you took the courage and initiative to reach out. That is the first step in finding a solution.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Welcome! I think a LOT of us think we're unique in this.. thinking I was somehow 'different' in my issues almost killed me, because it kept me believing that no one could understand, no one could help, blah blah. Thing is, no one but ME could turn this around, and I'd lived with myself for a pretty long time and nothing was new about that. I wallowed around, drunk, high.. my life sucks, I suck.. I'm beyond repair, why me, I'm doomed, I'm unique.. I'm hopeless, my problems are worse than anyones, I'm damaged, I'm broken, I'm destined to die a drunk, I was born to die this way.. on and on while I drank, drugged, and drank some more. Then I went to AA, and though I didn't ultimately use the program in my recovery, I finally found out I am NOT unique. I am not hopeless. I was being supremely selfish in thinking I was any better, worse, different than anyone else. I heard stories from drunks, who knew how to live sober. I wanted it.. and now I have it. I use AA as an example, because it was the only place I knew of that had a bunch of folks just like me, in a group. I didn't know about SR until I had been sober for quite a while, so good you're here.. lots of us know how to be sober, and probably at some point thought we never would be. You're not that different from anyone else.. and it's up to you to help yourself.
Ever heard the quote, "If you think you can't, you're probably right."? I think that's true.
Ever heard the quote, "If you think you can't, you're probably right."? I think that's true.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
About your mistrust of doctors...
They are there to prescribe medication, that's their job, their remit. But I would see it as if you had a sore throat and needed anti-biotics they can help. If you want to stop drinking they can offer you medication. They are just using what tools they have available to them.
If you were having a heart attack or had cancer and needed chemo - would you still mistrust doctors?
If you feel that medication is not the way forward for you, than that's your right to do so. If you feel that talking therapy or counselling would be more appropriate then that's your choice. You have the freedom to decide. Doctors actually don't have this freedom. They have a number of options they can offer you due to the constraints of their jobs.
However, doctors can ask for tests to be run that can show damage that has been done etc.
Have you ever spoken to an understanding doctor about you feel about your brain chemistry?
I also wonder how you can gain information from the internet, which might be written by who knows who, yet mistrust doctors?
IMHO you seem to have quite fixed opinions about treatment, options and getting better.
I wish you only the best
x
They are there to prescribe medication, that's their job, their remit. But I would see it as if you had a sore throat and needed anti-biotics they can help. If you want to stop drinking they can offer you medication. They are just using what tools they have available to them.
If you were having a heart attack or had cancer and needed chemo - would you still mistrust doctors?
If you feel that medication is not the way forward for you, than that's your right to do so. If you feel that talking therapy or counselling would be more appropriate then that's your choice. You have the freedom to decide. Doctors actually don't have this freedom. They have a number of options they can offer you due to the constraints of their jobs.
However, doctors can ask for tests to be run that can show damage that has been done etc.
Have you ever spoken to an understanding doctor about you feel about your brain chemistry?
I also wonder how you can gain information from the internet, which might be written by who knows who, yet mistrust doctors?
IMHO you seem to have quite fixed opinions about treatment, options and getting better.
I wish you only the best
x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: On a big rock in the middle of the ocean
Posts: 43
I don't feel "unique" as much as "not typical," if that makes any sense. Of course we're all unique in some ways, but my drinking pattern has become very textbook and cliche. I don't like the idea of that at all, but I recognized it on my own and freely admitted it. I said exactly that in my first post, so it does seem like a few people here are picking and choosing my words they want to focus on, and might have more preconceived notions about me than I do. That's fine, I can take it.
My intention was to explain the challenges that got me here, why it has taken me so long to do something about it, what I have already learned, and why I'm really scared to undertake this challenge that lies ahead of me. If I didn't intend to try to change it in spite of those fears (hopefully with the support of the people on these forums) I wouldn't have posted. I'm going to give myself some credit for that.
In spite of all that, somehow it has been determined that I "have quite fixed opinions about treatment, options and getting better" because of two specific things I'm against doing.
Asking someone like me to take psych meds after what I have been through with them, isn't much different than if I were to suggest to one of you that a quick trip to the liquor store will cure your alcoholism. It's an absurd suggestion from where I sit, and the fact that it's a doctor doling out the drugs doesn't make them any less harmful in my situation, whether you believe it or not. Doctors are what got me here.
The only other thing I said I wouldn't do is go to AA, and I have valid reasons that have to do with my core belief system, separate from anything else. It's like asking a Catholic to become Jewish, and telling him he's being unreasonable because he doesn't see the light.
I'm open to try just about anything else, and I never said differently, so I would ask that people stop reading things into my words that aren't there. I do understand that written words don't always clearly communicate the intentions of the writer, so I hope this clears up any misunderstandings that might remain.
I'm still sticking to two glasses of wine per day, and I stayed home from a 4th of July party Sunday so I wouldn't drink more than that. I had a death in the family Monday morning, which is something that would normally make me want to drink more, but I didn't. That made me feel stronger.
I'm planning to start walking Tuesday because exercise helps with the anxiety and depression. That's a big step because I've been isolating myself and my issues include some mild agoraphobia, but I'm going to make myself do it because I know it will help me. I need to take this a day at a time at this point, but I'll be picking a day to stop the wine completely at some time in the very near future. In the meantime I'm committing to not drinking more than that two glasses no matter how bad the anxiety gets. I bought some natural supplements today that are supposed to help.
I feel good about my plans, and I think these are all positive steps. I'll report on my progress, but I'll probably do it in the newcomers forum.
Even though I've said thank you for the support a million times, I'll say it once more just in case somebody missed it. Thanks!
My intention was to explain the challenges that got me here, why it has taken me so long to do something about it, what I have already learned, and why I'm really scared to undertake this challenge that lies ahead of me. If I didn't intend to try to change it in spite of those fears (hopefully with the support of the people on these forums) I wouldn't have posted. I'm going to give myself some credit for that.
In spite of all that, somehow it has been determined that I "have quite fixed opinions about treatment, options and getting better" because of two specific things I'm against doing.
Asking someone like me to take psych meds after what I have been through with them, isn't much different than if I were to suggest to one of you that a quick trip to the liquor store will cure your alcoholism. It's an absurd suggestion from where I sit, and the fact that it's a doctor doling out the drugs doesn't make them any less harmful in my situation, whether you believe it or not. Doctors are what got me here.
The only other thing I said I wouldn't do is go to AA, and I have valid reasons that have to do with my core belief system, separate from anything else. It's like asking a Catholic to become Jewish, and telling him he's being unreasonable because he doesn't see the light.
I'm open to try just about anything else, and I never said differently, so I would ask that people stop reading things into my words that aren't there. I do understand that written words don't always clearly communicate the intentions of the writer, so I hope this clears up any misunderstandings that might remain.
I'm still sticking to two glasses of wine per day, and I stayed home from a 4th of July party Sunday so I wouldn't drink more than that. I had a death in the family Monday morning, which is something that would normally make me want to drink more, but I didn't. That made me feel stronger.
I'm planning to start walking Tuesday because exercise helps with the anxiety and depression. That's a big step because I've been isolating myself and my issues include some mild agoraphobia, but I'm going to make myself do it because I know it will help me. I need to take this a day at a time at this point, but I'll be picking a day to stop the wine completely at some time in the very near future. In the meantime I'm committing to not drinking more than that two glasses no matter how bad the anxiety gets. I bought some natural supplements today that are supposed to help.
I feel good about my plans, and I think these are all positive steps. I'll report on my progress, but I'll probably do it in the newcomers forum.
Even though I've said thank you for the support a million times, I'll say it once more just in case somebody missed it. Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
welcome Tuffy, as cheesegritts mentioned, your story and some answers you've posted to others, could have come out of my mouth too.
will be back later, keep posting, this website is my lifeline for support.
will be back later, keep posting, this website is my lifeline for support.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Sorry for your recent loss of a family member, Tuffy. Difficult times of course. Good for you not going on a binge of drinking to cope with everything, you know, that is something itself to be grateful for and you know it.
I'm not a fan of controlled drinking in the sense that my alcoholism could not become arrested and so nothing changes if nothing changes, which over all that just sucked. I did need to learn that for myself of course though and so in that way reducing and controlling my drinking taught me about my real problems with my illness and my ongoing relapses gave me real proof of my alcoholism. From my failures I could understand and appreciate the writing on the wall. I was going down anyways with alot of booze or a little booze it really made no difference overall and that was a good thing to discover, you know.
I gotta tell you I feel for you Tuffy, your in a bad way, I know it. I do think you have some serious justifications, excuses, fears, delusions, resentments, and selfish ideations going on blocking you from your goals of eventually quitting alcohol for good and all. Nothing personal about these things I'm saying, its just the way of our illness is all. Stopping drinking is more than just talking about ourselves if we want to stay stopped, as you already know. Real positive change must be an ongoing thing in our daily lives to achieve a happy and free sobriety, we all have learned this the hardway after our failures to do otherwise.
I wonder gathered from what you have posted are you willing to change about your life today so that when you do quit drinking you can stay quit? And if not already shared then what can you going forward offer yourself which ensures reaching your goals of not drinking? I'm just asking since you invited responses to your original post, and I care. Not saying you have all the answers already if you did you wouldn't have the problems
You've mentioned i may or may not understand [your not taking meds for example] as you share some more of your story, and then you did a LOL. I get that, you know, heh heh.
Be well, Tuffy.
Robby
I'm not a fan of controlled drinking in the sense that my alcoholism could not become arrested and so nothing changes if nothing changes, which over all that just sucked. I did need to learn that for myself of course though and so in that way reducing and controlling my drinking taught me about my real problems with my illness and my ongoing relapses gave me real proof of my alcoholism. From my failures I could understand and appreciate the writing on the wall. I was going down anyways with alot of booze or a little booze it really made no difference overall and that was a good thing to discover, you know.
I gotta tell you I feel for you Tuffy, your in a bad way, I know it. I do think you have some serious justifications, excuses, fears, delusions, resentments, and selfish ideations going on blocking you from your goals of eventually quitting alcohol for good and all. Nothing personal about these things I'm saying, its just the way of our illness is all. Stopping drinking is more than just talking about ourselves if we want to stay stopped, as you already know. Real positive change must be an ongoing thing in our daily lives to achieve a happy and free sobriety, we all have learned this the hardway after our failures to do otherwise.
I wonder gathered from what you have posted are you willing to change about your life today so that when you do quit drinking you can stay quit? And if not already shared then what can you going forward offer yourself which ensures reaching your goals of not drinking? I'm just asking since you invited responses to your original post, and I care. Not saying you have all the answers already if you did you wouldn't have the problems
You've mentioned i may or may not understand [your not taking meds for example] as you share some more of your story, and then you did a LOL. I get that, you know, heh heh.
Be well, Tuffy.
Robby
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
Originally Posted by TuffNut
I don't feel "unique" as much as "not typical," if that makes any sense. Of course we're all unique in some ways, but my drinking pattern has become very textbook and cliche. I don't like the idea of that at all, but I recognized it on my own and freely admitted it. I said exactly that in my first post, so it does seem like a few people here are picking and choosing my words they want to focus on, and might have more preconceived notions about me than I do. That's fine, I can take it.
My intention was to explain the challenges that got me here, why it has taken me so long to do something about it, what I have already learned, and why I'm really scared to undertake this challenge that lies ahead of me. If I didn't intend to try to change it in spite of those fears (hopefully with the support of the people on these forums) I wouldn't have posted. I'm going to give myself some credit for that.
In spite of all that, somehow it has been determined that I "have quite fixed opinions about treatment, options and getting better" because of two specific things I'm against doing.
Asking someone like me to take psych meds after what I have been through with them, isn't much different than if I were to suggest to one of you that a quick trip to the liquor store will cure your alcoholism. It's an absurd suggestion from where I sit, and the fact that it's a doctor doling out the drugs doesn't make them any less harmful in my situation, whether you believe it or not. Doctors are what got me here.
The only other thing I said I wouldn't do is go to AA, and I have valid reasons that have to do with my core belief system, separate from anything else. It's like asking a Catholic to become Jewish, and telling him he's being unreasonable because he doesn't see the light.
I'm open to try just about anything else, and I never said differently, so I would ask that people stop reading things into my words that aren't there. I do understand that written words don't always clearly communicate the intentions of the writer, so I hope this clears up any misunderstandings that might remain.
I'm still sticking to two glasses of wine per day, and I stayed home from a 4th of July party Sunday so I wouldn't drink more than that. I had a death in the family Monday morning, which is something that would normally make me want to drink more, but I didn't. That made me feel stronger.
I'm planning to start walking Tuesday because exercise helps with the anxiety and depression. That's a big step because I've been isolating myself and my issues include some mild agoraphobia, but I'm going to make myself do it because I know it will help me. I need to take this a day at a time at this point, but I'll be picking a day to stop the wine completely at some time in the very near future. In the meantime I'm committing to not drinking more than that two glasses no matter how bad the anxiety gets. I bought some natural supplements today that are supposed to help.
I feel good about my plans, and I think these are all positive steps. I'll report on my progress, but I'll probably do it in the newcomers forum.
Even though I've said thank you for the support a million times, I'll say it once more just in case somebody missed it. Thanks!
My intention was to explain the challenges that got me here, why it has taken me so long to do something about it, what I have already learned, and why I'm really scared to undertake this challenge that lies ahead of me. If I didn't intend to try to change it in spite of those fears (hopefully with the support of the people on these forums) I wouldn't have posted. I'm going to give myself some credit for that.
In spite of all that, somehow it has been determined that I "have quite fixed opinions about treatment, options and getting better" because of two specific things I'm against doing.
Asking someone like me to take psych meds after what I have been through with them, isn't much different than if I were to suggest to one of you that a quick trip to the liquor store will cure your alcoholism. It's an absurd suggestion from where I sit, and the fact that it's a doctor doling out the drugs doesn't make them any less harmful in my situation, whether you believe it or not. Doctors are what got me here.
The only other thing I said I wouldn't do is go to AA, and I have valid reasons that have to do with my core belief system, separate from anything else. It's like asking a Catholic to become Jewish, and telling him he's being unreasonable because he doesn't see the light.
I'm open to try just about anything else, and I never said differently, so I would ask that people stop reading things into my words that aren't there. I do understand that written words don't always clearly communicate the intentions of the writer, so I hope this clears up any misunderstandings that might remain.
I'm still sticking to two glasses of wine per day, and I stayed home from a 4th of July party Sunday so I wouldn't drink more than that. I had a death in the family Monday morning, which is something that would normally make me want to drink more, but I didn't. That made me feel stronger.
I'm planning to start walking Tuesday because exercise helps with the anxiety and depression. That's a big step because I've been isolating myself and my issues include some mild agoraphobia, but I'm going to make myself do it because I know it will help me. I need to take this a day at a time at this point, but I'll be picking a day to stop the wine completely at some time in the very near future. In the meantime I'm committing to not drinking more than that two glasses no matter how bad the anxiety gets. I bought some natural supplements today that are supposed to help.
I feel good about my plans, and I think these are all positive steps. I'll report on my progress, but I'll probably do it in the newcomers forum.
Even though I've said thank you for the support a million times, I'll say it once more just in case somebody missed it. Thanks!
I don't think 99% of the doctors out there are qualified to deal with addiction. they have a cut and paste answer if you're suffering from DT's if you're an alcoholic. they have a cut and past answer if you suffer from depression. they have a cut and past answer of you suffer from OCD or anxiety.
What they don't have is an answer for someone who has all of those and can't find any relief because all of the drugs they prescribed in the first place is making their life as bad as the very thing they were treating.
it makes me sick that most doctors just want to drug the patients up to ease the pain or discomfort. everything is a band-aide answer nowadays. anxiety?..take this pill...sad?...take this one and this one ....angry?...take 2 of these..... that's a sorry way to treat someone so hopeless.
Of course this is not to say that someone with clinical depression need not be medicated if it's deemed beneficial, but i think it should be done by a team of psychiatrists and doctors after alot of testing. not by a GP who knows dick about this stuff.
i had a GP prescribing 5 different medications for these:
OCD
Depression
Anxiety
Anger
Insomnia
turns out all i needed was to get OFF all of these addictive drugs and quit drinking and take up some hobbies. i wasn't clinically anything but an addict.
all of my mental health issues went away or SEVERELY diminished after i got sober. i still have a little OCD, but nothing like what it was.
I still get anxiety, but i can manage it.
i still get sad sometimes but i can also manage that too.
I have to keep myself extremely busy to manage most of my issues, but that's a hell of alot better than taking enough pills to get full on an empty stomach and drinking a half gallon of whiskey a night.
are we double, triple, or quadruple diagnosed people differen't? unique? no...just a bit more challenging to treat.
tuffnut, i don't begrudge your 2 glasses of wine after the hell you've been through but i don't think you're giving yourself enough credit to face these last 2 demons. you're 98% of the way, my friend.
my easier, softer way was to get sober and live. i used to go to bed begging God to help me...now, it seems like i have a hard time asking for anything but saying thank you for all of my blessinngs.
this was after more than a decade of AA that didn't work and enough prescriptions to keep my pharmacy on a first name business with me.
so, I'm very proud of you Tuff....but you can do this one last thing. at this point, 2 glasses of wine is nothing more than a pacifier unless they are in Big Gulp cups. you know?
be well,
BD.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 200
Originally Posted by TuffNut
I'm planning to start walking Tuesday because exercise helps with the anxiety and depression.
Walk with purpose and clarity. Every step you take reduces the time you could be drinking, or thinking about drinking or any other non-constructive activity. Try to both focus and relax your thoughts and let your legs do what they're intended to do. Find a point on the horizon or a tree down a road and make that your singular, short-term goal and then focus on another goal and then another. Keep walking. Apply the same method to not drinking - one more hour without that second glass of wine, one more hour, one more.
Best.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Have you noticed we have a sticky post here in Alcoholism
with various programs for you to explore?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html
We also have many SR members happily successfully
sober who use no formal program.
Some have already shared here with you....
I was already AA recovered when SMART was founded.
However....I find their approach very interesting.
I suggest you check SMART out first.
I agree with you....AA is not for you.
All my best
with various programs for you to explore?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html
We also have many SR members happily successfully
sober who use no formal program.
Some have already shared here with you....
I was already AA recovered when SMART was founded.
However....I find their approach very interesting.
I suggest you check SMART out first.
I agree with you....AA is not for you.
All my best
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Hi TuffNut-
Welcome and you're already on the right track. Yes, its a cliche, but admitting you have a problem is the first step.
My only advice is to slow down a bit on all the "what you won't do" and also on what you think you know about being sober.
If you're anything like me, and it sounds like you are, then you know how to live buzzed, or drunk, or high, etc... If you want to know how to be sober, then...
Stick with the winners no matter what program you choose and be willing. Just be willing.
Welcome and you're already on the right track. Yes, its a cliche, but admitting you have a problem is the first step.
My only advice is to slow down a bit on all the "what you won't do" and also on what you think you know about being sober.
If you're anything like me, and it sounds like you are, then you know how to live buzzed, or drunk, or high, etc... If you want to know how to be sober, then...
Stick with the winners no matter what program you choose and be willing. Just be willing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: On a big rock in the middle of the ocean
Posts: 43
To Rob: It does seem like you may have missed where I outlined the things I am willing to change about my life, and the first steps I'll be taking to get there. That isn't all I'm going to do, but I guess if I don't have it all figured out before I even get started, that isn't good enough for you. I don't know what to say to that except I can't please all the people all the time, and I realize you have good intentions, which I appreciate whether we agree or not.
To Bulldog: Everything you have written has resonated with me, and I'm feeling a real kinship with you and your situation. Controlled drinking is not what I want. I agree it's not going to work as a long term strategy, and I'm sure you're correct that it's nothing more than a crutch at this point. I want to get some of the strategies for dealing with the inevitable anxiety in place before I take that last step, so I'm less likely to fail when I do, and then I will be taking the plunge. I expect that to be in a matter of days, not weeks or months. The remark about the Big Gulp cup made me laugh, so thanks, I needed that!
To CarolD: Thanks for understanding where I'm coming from about the AA. I have been reading about the alternatives and I'm going to check them out. I think someone said SMART has online meetings and that might be just the ticket for me. I am flexible and open to trying different things...as many as it takes.
To Fandy, Smacked and MeAndOnlyMe: Thanks much for the encouragement. I'm lucky enough to live in a beautiful place, so there is a lot of good to focus on. What happens is that when I get in a rut I can't motivate myself to get out there, so it really helps to have others cheering me on.
I know I haven't mentioned everyone by name who has replied since the beginning, but I have read everything and have taken it to heart, and I thank each and every one of you.
To Bulldog: Everything you have written has resonated with me, and I'm feeling a real kinship with you and your situation. Controlled drinking is not what I want. I agree it's not going to work as a long term strategy, and I'm sure you're correct that it's nothing more than a crutch at this point. I want to get some of the strategies for dealing with the inevitable anxiety in place before I take that last step, so I'm less likely to fail when I do, and then I will be taking the plunge. I expect that to be in a matter of days, not weeks or months. The remark about the Big Gulp cup made me laugh, so thanks, I needed that!
To CarolD: Thanks for understanding where I'm coming from about the AA. I have been reading about the alternatives and I'm going to check them out. I think someone said SMART has online meetings and that might be just the ticket for me. I am flexible and open to trying different things...as many as it takes.
To Fandy, Smacked and MeAndOnlyMe: Thanks much for the encouragement. I'm lucky enough to live in a beautiful place, so there is a lot of good to focus on. What happens is that when I get in a rut I can't motivate myself to get out there, so it really helps to have others cheering me on.
I know I haven't mentioned everyone by name who has replied since the beginning, but I have read everything and have taken it to heart, and I thank each and every one of you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: On a big rock in the middle of the ocean
Posts: 43
Originally Posted by Kjell
Hi TuffNut-
Welcome and you're already on the right track. Yes, its a cliche, but admitting you have a problem is the first step.
My only advice is to slow down a bit on all the "what you won't do" and also on what you think you know about being sober.
If you're anything like me, and it sounds like you are, then you know how to live buzzed, or drunk, or high, etc... If you want to know how to be sober, then...
Stick with the winners no matter what program you choose and be willing. Just be willing.
Welcome and you're already on the right track. Yes, its a cliche, but admitting you have a problem is the first step.
My only advice is to slow down a bit on all the "what you won't do" and also on what you think you know about being sober.
If you're anything like me, and it sounds like you are, then you know how to live buzzed, or drunk, or high, etc... If you want to know how to be sober, then...
Stick with the winners no matter what program you choose and be willing. Just be willing.
Tuffy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Tuffy, you do what works for YOU....I think you are just saying that you're ready to explore all the options.
I don't shout my problems from the rooftops, I post here almost daily, read a lot and try to concentrate on getting up and putting one foot in front of the other every morning....some days are better than others...but what I've seen is the most sobriety I've had in years and a different way to live, feel better physically and stave off most of my depression....exchanging, interacting here is my way of working through.
I don't shout my problems from the rooftops, I post here almost daily, read a lot and try to concentrate on getting up and putting one foot in front of the other every morning....some days are better than others...but what I've seen is the most sobriety I've had in years and a different way to live, feel better physically and stave off most of my depression....exchanging, interacting here is my way of working through.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 8
Hi Tuffnut,
I can relate to the problems you're having. I also went through a hellish Klonopin withdrawal and was using alcohol to “medicate” myself to make the anxiety (and other symptoms) go away. I also have a history of anxiety and depression, drug and alcohol abuse, etc.
Anyhow, about 8 months ago I was finally able to completely quit drinking. It took about 3 to 4 months to feel much improvement, but after that I noticed that my panic attacks went away and I could sleep much better. I'm feeling a little better each month. I really think alcohol was responsible for most of benzo protracted withdrawal symptoms. Give your nervous system a rest and a chance to heal.
I can relate to the problems you're having. I also went through a hellish Klonopin withdrawal and was using alcohol to “medicate” myself to make the anxiety (and other symptoms) go away. I also have a history of anxiety and depression, drug and alcohol abuse, etc.
Anyhow, about 8 months ago I was finally able to completely quit drinking. It took about 3 to 4 months to feel much improvement, but after that I noticed that my panic attacks went away and I could sleep much better. I'm feeling a little better each month. I really think alcohol was responsible for most of benzo protracted withdrawal symptoms. Give your nervous system a rest and a chance to heal.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
