I Made it!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
I Made it!!
Finally I have found some sort of support option that didn't include sitting in a group of people I normally didn't have much in common with other than an addiction problem. Now I can hopefuuly get some support, and give some, really anonimously.
Been sober since Sunday, and although my resolve is fairly strong, I know from past experience that it's not always as strong as I would like. I have drank every weekend for about 8 years, so the coming weekend will be a test. I have been a heavy binge drinker for about 27 years, quit drinking for a year about 8 years ago, (Court ordered due to a DUI, and wife ordered as well). Then I came back strong....in fact in the last 2 years I found a way to binge heavy about 4 nights a week, which became having to have an eye opener at least 2 or 3 mornings a week, which led to sipping down a 12 pack most days, then about half a bottle of Vodka a night. Vicious cycle for me.
Well I drove home drunk again Sunday AM after getting to the bar at 9AM Saturday for the World Cup game and proceeded to drink until 1AM. I made it home, but the wife and my son were gone when I staggered through the door. She wanted to scare me because I told her I wasn't gonna even have a sip, until I texted her at 10AM saying it was just gonna be a few....which turned into a nasty war of texts messages. Well after having to sit through my sons all star game on Sunday with the shakes...even though I had about 3beers and 6 shots of Vodka earlier in the day, I decided that I was gonna quit for good! During the game I felt like Shooter in the movie Hoosier's, played by Dennis Hopper.
As I said I am only 5 days in, but I feel better already, and I am happy to be alive, and hopeful to make some friends who can help me along this long journey.
Been sober since Sunday, and although my resolve is fairly strong, I know from past experience that it's not always as strong as I would like. I have drank every weekend for about 8 years, so the coming weekend will be a test. I have been a heavy binge drinker for about 27 years, quit drinking for a year about 8 years ago, (Court ordered due to a DUI, and wife ordered as well). Then I came back strong....in fact in the last 2 years I found a way to binge heavy about 4 nights a week, which became having to have an eye opener at least 2 or 3 mornings a week, which led to sipping down a 12 pack most days, then about half a bottle of Vodka a night. Vicious cycle for me.
Well I drove home drunk again Sunday AM after getting to the bar at 9AM Saturday for the World Cup game and proceeded to drink until 1AM. I made it home, but the wife and my son were gone when I staggered through the door. She wanted to scare me because I told her I wasn't gonna even have a sip, until I texted her at 10AM saying it was just gonna be a few....which turned into a nasty war of texts messages. Well after having to sit through my sons all star game on Sunday with the shakes...even though I had about 3beers and 6 shots of Vodka earlier in the day, I decided that I was gonna quit for good! During the game I felt like Shooter in the movie Hoosier's, played by Dennis Hopper.
As I said I am only 5 days in, but I feel better already, and I am happy to be alive, and hopeful to make some friends who can help me along this long journey.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome, Supercrew! Five days is a really good start and it's great that you're feeling good about it! Just be patient with yourself and try to take it a day at a time.
I know you'll find alot of support here. It's been a lifesaver for me! I drank most days but was just starting to have 2-3 days binges when I came here, and it's such a relief not to have to live that way anymore.
I know you'll find alot of support here. It's been a lifesaver for me! I drank most days but was just starting to have 2-3 days binges when I came here, and it's such a relief not to have to live that way anymore.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Thank you all for the welcome! It's kind of funny, because although I drink alone more often than not, sobriety sometimes seems so much more lonely.
Anyways I will be surfing an posting whenever I get the urge, and I wish all of you a safe and sober Independence Day weekend!
Anyways I will be surfing an posting whenever I get the urge, and I wish all of you a safe and sober Independence Day weekend!
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Welcome. Boy, can I identify with just about everything you spoke of. I was just an occasional drinker..........until I found myself drinking much more often. I didn't drink in the mornings........until I found myself drinking in the morning. I didn't like the thought of going to meetings, at first, either. I also learned a new level of loneliness (even though I had ppl in my life) once I started "trying to quit." For me, it turned out I had to do some stuff I reeeally didn't want to do but it made getting sober almost easy (in hindsight), worked on the loneliness and got me feeling happy again.
Best of luck to you.
Best of luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 796
Howdy, and welcome.
I binge drank for years, always with the promise I'd quit tomorrow. I know where you're coming from.
I've now strung together over six months, and it feels great!
No more shakes, no more withdrawals, no more being frightned of everything.
It IS a viscious cycle. But you can stop it. Seek support in AA if you're comfortable with that. You never have to feel this way again.
Sending strength your way!
I binge drank for years, always with the promise I'd quit tomorrow. I know where you're coming from.
I've now strung together over six months, and it feels great!
No more shakes, no more withdrawals, no more being frightned of everything.
It IS a viscious cycle. But you can stop it. Seek support in AA if you're comfortable with that. You never have to feel this way again.
Sending strength your way!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Thank you DT and Ghost. About 8 years ago as I said I was forced to do 6 months of AA, but I also had to do 3 or 4 months of group sessions and a 1 on 1 a week. I tried 5 or 6 different AA groups in my area, and at that time I wasn't admitting that I had a problem. Also I am not the most spiritual of people. It made me feel hypocritcal to go to a faith based program and pay it lip service. Over the past 5 years I sat on the doorsteps of my nearest AAs after a couple of really bad benders, only to talk myself out of walking into a church or an area where I think there were more homeless or court ordered people there than people I might be able to relate with. By me being made to go to AA and programs 8 years ago it really did give me the tools and the knowledge to deal with my issues, I just wasn't putting them to use. About 2 months ago I realized my problem had really grown out of control, and I was looking for an additional support mechanism where I could reach out without actually being seen. I am fairly well known in my community, and although AA is anonimous, just the thought of being seen scared the hell out of me. In fact I told my wife straight out if she could find me something other than AA, I was in. Obviously this was also just an excuse to continue with my addiction. Well on my own, I finally decided that I wanted it bad enough for myself and my family, and being that I had done a year before with the help of AA and counseling, (although I never thought at that time that I was done for good), I feel confident that I will now stay sober...all I need is a place like this to remind me where I have been.
One of my biggest problems during my year of sobriety was I was a bitter person because it wasn't my idea I felt it was forced on me. And if I was around friends who were drinking I would preach to them about the evils of alcohol abuse and tell them that from what i had learned they were drinking poison, and they were a bunch of drunks....and then I would tell my wife that these people weren't accepting of me not drinking. When in fact the weren't accepting of me judging them when they were drinking and I wasn't. It was just another reason for me to drink again, so I could be part of the gang.
I am sure I willl get into other aspects of my addiction which I am sure I will have a chance to discuss in the future. But thank you all again for the welcome! It looks like day six, (last night was probably the first Friday night in 8 years that I didn't tie one on, then a team party at noon today, where I turned down my first beer, then a day at the County Fair where I have never been sober), is almost in the books, and I made it home clean and confident and happy!! Time to walk the dog with the wife!
One of my biggest problems during my year of sobriety was I was a bitter person because it wasn't my idea I felt it was forced on me. And if I was around friends who were drinking I would preach to them about the evils of alcohol abuse and tell them that from what i had learned they were drinking poison, and they were a bunch of drunks....and then I would tell my wife that these people weren't accepting of me not drinking. When in fact the weren't accepting of me judging them when they were drinking and I wasn't. It was just another reason for me to drink again, so I could be part of the gang.
I am sure I willl get into other aspects of my addiction which I am sure I will have a chance to discuss in the future. But thank you all again for the welcome! It looks like day six, (last night was probably the first Friday night in 8 years that I didn't tie one on, then a team party at noon today, where I turned down my first beer, then a day at the County Fair where I have never been sober), is almost in the books, and I made it home clean and confident and happy!! Time to walk the dog with the wife!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Way to go Supercrew - sounds like you had alot of challenges and came out a winner! It's also really good that you want to be sober for you this time. I've gone to AA in the past as well, and am grateful that I learned the program inside and out. Now I'm only using SR and that seems to be working, but I don't rule out going back to meetings if I have to.
Congrats on day 6 - that's terrific!!
Congrats on day 6 - that's terrific!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
40 days down!! I wanted to reread my first post, so I brought it back up.
Thank you SR, this place the people and the stories have really helped me stay active in my recovery and for that I am truly thankful for your support!!
Thank you SR, this place the people and the stories have really helped me stay active in my recovery and for that I am truly thankful for your support!!
Be proud. 
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