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still sober; wow, this is weird

Old 06-25-2010, 08:44 PM
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still sober; wow, this is weird

I think I've reached about 10 weeks, or two and half months.

I can't believe it's then that long since I've woken up hungover or have been afraid to stand close to someone, for fear that s/he would smell stale (or fresh) booze on me.

I should get down on my knees everyday and pray (sometimes I do), because I sure the hell haven't done this by myself.

Went to an AA meeting a few nights ago. (It takes a lot of determination for me to do this!) I wonder if there are any of you out there who are extremely reserved/quiet who have had success with AA. If so, please let me know. My problem with it is not the actual program; it's the being around people part.
I've only gone to meetings sporadically.

For a while after I became sober, I thought my brain was broken. But I am starting to become creative again and have more attention span for "heavy" reading. (I only realized that just this moment.) Not to mention more physical stamina.


OTC sleep meds, though.... I use them more than I'd like to. But most of them give me adverse side effects enough of the time that I've thrown them away, and I am starting to feel like I'm running out of options. I often drink so-called relaxing teas at night, but feel little relaxation. I reckon that I'll soon have to face the night on my own.


All for now. Thanks for reading.
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Old 06-25-2010, 08:58 PM
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Great post...

I also sit at times in disbelief that I am sober and that led me to the complete belief that I in no way do it on my own.

Lol, I am quiet and reserved around strangers but compund that with the fact I just don't like people. And I have success with AA. For me it took going to meetings no matter how I felt and consistently, no matter what really means no matter what. I made that pledge to myself and went in any and all conditions, both physically speaking and also mentally speaking. Scared, anxious, angry, in the cold, heat, snow, rain etc. Consistently meant everyday. 2 years sober it is not everyday anymore but only because I am overseas with limited AA access.

This led me to a meeting routine, a routine of chatting and then actually talking to people. I have a big wall around me and most times a demeanor that says "stay the hell away", nevertheless the wall slowly crumbled. It was tough and ugly at times. But I started at "Hi" and moved on to "how are you" and went from there. I am the person in the book that is "sometimes slowly" and that is okay.

Joined a home group and got active and that led me from quiet and reserved to a vocal (not always a good thing) member of the meeting. Hell, I even made friends which was not my intention going into AA.

Thats what happened to me. That is just my experience and what worked for this drunk. But I will say this, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being quiet and staying quiet in AA. I support a members right to not talk as much I support a members right to talk. Please don't let anyone try to push you around.

Congrats on the sober time, good stuff.
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Old 06-25-2010, 09:20 PM
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Thanks, Chops, for your input about meetings. That's exactly the kind of feedback I was looking for.

Though I haven't decided that I want to work the program, I do feel I need to be in some recovery atmosphere often -- like you said, every day.
I think that once I fall into a routine, it would be less difficult for me.
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Old 06-25-2010, 10:45 PM
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Wren....
my AA home group would love to see you with us....
we talkers need a receptive quiet audience.

Please check out this link about sleeping problems....

Insomnia? 42 Simple Tips to Help You Get to Sleep - Insomnia treatment, cures


Well done on your sober progress...
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Old 06-26-2010, 04:55 AM
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Sleep is so important, and OTC sleep products should only be used sporadically. What they do is suppress REM sleep by extending the "deep sleep" stage. They make you sleep but after a few weeks you are needed the REM sleep mode, where your brain makes sense of the day, and without that your thinking gets messed up. In my own experience, I think lack of REM sleep is a lot like "alcohol thinking".

So, OTC sleep products are great for now and then, but I suggest you develop a healthy sleep pattern without meds. That way your body will always get the rest you need with natural patterns.

I know, just one more thing you need to work on, but I think sleep is under-rated as a tool for recovery.
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Old 06-26-2010, 05:08 AM
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Cool

I am new and shy, only went to one mtg was scared to death, thats why I am here. I understand what you are saying, and I am also taking sleeping pills. For now I take it a day at a time and go off stuff slowly. May not be right, but thats what I have to do. Love this site! Thanks...way to go on being sober.
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Old 06-26-2010, 06:45 AM
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GRACIE01...
Wel come to our recovery community

Good to know you are chooseing sobriety
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Old 06-26-2010, 07:02 AM
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Hey, I haven't really been posting andam in fact phasing myself out of this forum because of weird (and I feel, inappropreiate) censoring of posts by Dee. But I just wanted to encourage you to at least go to an AA meeting and check it out. You have nothing to lose and lots to gain.

GG
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Old 06-26-2010, 07:42 AM
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Originally Posted by KingsCross View Post
Sleep is so important, and OTC sleep products should only be used sporadically. What they do is suppress REM sleep by extending the "deep sleep" stage. They make you sleep but after a few weeks you are needed the REM sleep mode, where your brain makes sense of the day, and without that your thinking gets messed up. In my own experience, I think lack of REM sleep is a lot like "alcohol thinking".

So, OTC sleep products are great for now and then, but I suggest you develop a healthy sleep pattern without meds. That way your body will always get the rest you need with natural patterns.

I know, just one more thing you need to work on, but I think sleep is under-rated as a tool for recovery.

Thanks for these helpful words.
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