DayWalker

I'll make this as short as I can. I've been tryin to quit smoking and today is 3 days smoke free for me. Just heard about 3pm today my best friend/fishin buddy was takin' to the hospital last night. Chest pains, arm pains etc...talked to his wife at 7pm today and they told her if she was 20 mins later getting him to the hospital he would have been in full cardiac arrest.

Last thing I want to do is make this "about me"...but now not only am I wanting to smoke, but after 150 days, I'm having thoughts of drinking now.

I know smoking&drinking wont help him or me, but that's where my head is at all the sudden tonight. Just being honest and could use some help please.

Steve

Toronto68

Sorry to hear about your best friend.

I don't know what to say to that, only to respond.

You are right, smoking and drinking won't help. This is the kind of thing that puts a jolt in a person. Have you got something to fall back on? Something to do in your work area? Click and post here like crazy?

DayWalker

Toronto just my family and my sponsor is all, My fam has been great, my sponsor I havent been able to get a hold of yet for the past few hours.

Just been a rough evening tonight is all. Their gonna do tests (catheter) SP on him in the morn to see what they are gonna do. So hopefully things will work out okay, just not having a good time tonight is all. Worried like hell about him as well as feeling really sorry for myself which is wrong and full of sadness because of whats up with him as well as self pity. Not a good night tonight

Steve

Toronto68

Well, I don't know how to answer that in the proper recovering alcoholic way, but of course you are feeling bad. You're feeling worried about someone you have love for, and it would be easy to be worried about yourself and how you handle it. If you have to be upset, just go ahead and do that (no one is watching!) and then, if you can, turn it off like a faucet. Tomorrow you might be less susceptible and he could improve as well.

Tell us how it goes tomorrow, or later if you sign back on.

Toronto68

By being "upset" and "no one is watching," by the way, I obviously didn't mean take a drink.

smacked

Visit him when and if you can.. your strength that you've gained in your chunk of sober time will HELP get you through this hurdle.. and the next.. that's what kinda sucks.. life still happens, and when we're sober, we tend to notice it a bit more. Hang in there, it'll pass.

DayWalker

I know what you mean buddy. And I have been "upset" all night. Shed quite a few tears tonight to say the last.

Steve

Toronto68

OK. The natural physical and mental reaction!

A lot of us started or went further with drinking over things like this. Whether sickness, death, accidents. We don't have to now, because of what we changed. We're free to be upset now, honestly, without the mind-alterers.

Brucel

Wow bro, I got a fishing bud like that. He was there for me when I got sober, then he drank again and I was there for him. You know a drink would do nothing more than cause more problems and your friend will still have a battle, just without your help. You're sober for a reason, maybe it's so you can be there for your fishin bud. I don't know, but You and your friend are in my prayers. God Bless

artsoul

Hi DayWalker - wow, you're really doing great to be 150 days sober and 3 days without cigs - I've yet to tackle the smoking part. That's a real positive. Another positive is that it looks like your friend made it to the hospital in time. And one more positive: you have a great friend that you care about and who cares about you. I know it doesn't take away the worry and fear, but sometimes it helps me to find something to be grateful for, and also to realize that things could always be worse. Maybe that's convoluted, I don't know.

I still think about drinking when I'm feeling any kind of strong emotions. Try taking several deep breaths and feel the support of your friends here, your family and your buddy (who wouldn't want you to drink over what he's going through).

Prayers going out to your friend....Hang in there......

DayWalker

I really appreciate the prayers for him guys, BTW his name is Bob. Just to give ya a bit of insight...Bob and I have been best friends/fishing buddies for the past 9/10 yrs. One reason this is bothering so much is because my dad was a big fisherman and we fished together all the time, dad died in 1996 of prostate cancer. I'm 38 and Bob is 55 so when I started fishing with Bob he not only was a "fishin' buddy" but he somewhat (whitout him even knowing lol) filled a void left when my dad passed. So that's a big reason why this is really bothering me.

I'm hopeful he will be okay. And they are doing a catharter (sp) on him in the morn to see what they need to do next, so we'll go from there. But thanls to those with the prayers!

Steve

DayWalker

BTW - haven't drank or smoked tonight. Just my mind & emotions running wild this evening so since I couldn't get a hold of my sponsor posting here is my next helpful thing to do so thanks for the feedback.

Steve

Dee74

You already got some great advice here Steve.

Dealing with stuff sober is hard - it's damned hard when our whole adults lives we drank these situations away - but the more we do it, the better we get at it, I think.

D

DayWalker

True Dee...it did really bother me though that after about 4 months the first thing my mind goes to for "comfort" is drinking. I thought I was past that guess not.

Steve

traid77

Hang in there Steve. I have thought about you a bunch this week wondering how you were and dealing with the ex fiance. You're one of the guys who's posts I look forward to reading, as I am also an angler and UFC fan. Re; Bob's place in your life, I too had that in an older guy (well, late 50's, not that old) and he recently died from liver cancer...I think he'd slap me upside the head were I to have some drinks to mourn or whatever. One day at a time, dude.

Dee74

It's no crime for your mind to go there - it's what we did for years
it's what we do next that counts

Wait til you face a crisis and a couple of days later realise you *didn't* automatically go there...you're well on your way Steve

D

DayWalker

wow, thanks bud...that actually makes me feel really good to hear that

Steve

artsoul

Just wanted to say "good for you" for not drinking or smoking.


Main Entry: cour·age
Pronunciation: \ˈkər-ij, ˈkə-rij\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English corage, from Anglo-French curage, from quer, coer heart, from Latin cor — more at heart
Date: 14th century
: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty

Ghostly

Hang in there Steve. Bob is not better off if you have a drink or smoke. You are doing great and are very inspiring. I hope things turn out well for both of you. Keep us posted.

porkchopped

Hi DayWalker,

Sorry to learn of your friend and your struggle. In getting here a tad late, I can only agree with those smart posters above. I guess you could also frame any illness crisis in a positive light, by knowing that you are making your own life healthy one day at a time - a foundation that will serve you, your friends and family well today and in the future.

Take care of yourself and stay strong!