juliwuli

posted here months ago about being able to control my drinking, yeah right!
that didnt work, now i'm back where i started, same old same old
was considering signing up with a new username but decided to come clean instead, i will never be able to control my drinking,by having one or two,
i'm back where i started, so FINALLY here it is,
i'm an alcoholic , i cant have ANY alcohol,
so i start all over again

Dee74

Welcome back Juli

I'm glad you came clean

I wouldn't say you're a stupid idiot - after all you're exactly like the rest of us thinking we could control our drinking...I've been there too...

Things got a lot more simple for me when I really finally accepted I couldn't drink.
I hope it's the same for you

D

juliwuli

thanks Dee
i was so sure too, that i could finally just have couple of drinks now and again,,even when people told me again and again i wouldnt listen,

rws177

Welcome back! We have all been there, I know it took me a long time to realize I can't drink at all. One always seem to turn into 27 which created problems at home, work, family, law and so fourth. Good to see you back on here Juliwuli.

sunrise1

Glad you came back... don't beat yourself up. I too thought more than once that I really COULD handle 1 or 2 drinks. The others here are right- life's much simpler without alcohol in it. Keep coming back

NEOMARXIST

Thanks for sharing your experince of how only having 'one or two' ends up.

You help this recovering alcoholic by posting your hard-earned experience. Sure you help many others too.

I never only drank one or two but would always wish to drink into oblivion. All or nothing.

Staying sober one day at a time is the only way for this alcoholic. 1 drink is too many and 1000000 never enough!!

Acceptance is crucial for lasting, grateful sobriety. Sobriety and recovery is so worth it. I have gained more strength, peace of mind, clarity of thought and gratitude than any drink or drug could ever give me. It truly is a fantastic thing and worth all of the effort and 'work'.

peace

loveon2legs

Hi Juli,
The important thing is you are here, and back to committing to your sobriety!! That's great!! I think we all have pretty much thought we could control our drinking...but realized otherwise... I"m glad you're back!!!

PaperDolls

Glad you're here juliwuli and proud of you for coming clean. That takes courage! Good luck on your journey through recovery.

artsoul

Hi Juli - nice to meet you! I tried everything I could think of to drink normally and ended up here. I'm glad you're back!

Lenina

(((juli)))

You aren't an idiot! It's the nature of the disease! For me, I'd get some drink-free time in, forget how bad it was and convince myself I'd just been going through a "bad patch" and had learned my lesson so it would be OK to have a drink. It never was!

You made it back! Many of us don't. For me, I have to keep recovery on the front burner. I have to do something for my recovery every day. I read recovery books, I work on gratitude and I try to help others when and where I can.

Hang it there! I'm glad to see you here again!

Love,

Lenina

sailorjohn

I remember my ex-wife making that statement to me as we were sitting at a beachfront restaurant in the BVI, she sipping one of those girly cocktails.

"Now remember, you can't drink" Little smirk on her face as she said it, I indeed had my drink just before we left, ended up a 5 year road trip.

These days, I simply say, I don't drink, and leave it at that.

True even today, if I choose, I can drink.

ElegantlyWasted

Welcome back! Try something differed this time and get a plan if you can (rhyme intentional). Most people need at least several trys for it to work. Now, just shy of 11 month, I am a perfect case study. I joined SR in 2006. Hung out here and did AA for a couple of months, only to convince myself that I did not have a problem; everyone else did, I could moderate and life would be good. It wasn't. Signed in again three years later and it's working this time. Best of luck (luck is the residue of design). You can make it happen.

ChristinaW

Glad you made it back. Some people dont' get that opportunity.

Brucel

i'm back where i started, so FINALLY here it is,
i'm an alcoholic , i cant have ANY alcohol,
so i start all over again[/QUOTE]

I think this is the most important thing to remember. I stopped starting over again and just stuck with it. When and if that thought ever pops it's ugly head up I remember the "Doctors opinion" in the BB that says I forget the pain and suffering and remember only the sense of ease and comfort that comes at once by taking a few drinks. Well for others that might be the truth, but for me, it's a lie. Today I know it's a lie and I have been restored to sanity. Welcome Back and God Bless

Sudz No More

I'm right there with you Juli. We alcoholics need to stay well clear of even one, I don't want to stay on the roller coaster anymore.

CarolD

Welcome back......

Many of us had false starts on our way to solid sobriety.
What are you planning to do differently>

Zoobear

Its called "Alcoholism" , I think some one even wrote a book about it! LOL!
Glad you are back!

fakesmiles

I could have written your post today, Jule. I, too, did great for 2 weeks (about 2 months ago). Then, rationalized I could have a beer and I did! Just one. I thought, hey, maybe I can handle this. 3 days later, I was back to drinking rum - same amount and needing it.

I, too, am admitting I am an alcoholic. I can not drink. I'm at Day 1 for the 100th time.

Mel8899

Hi Juli, I am back after the same scenario. When I say I am back though, I mean actually participating in the discussions and not just lurking. I have managed 54 non consecutive sober days in the last 90, but the 2 times I relapsed was the same crazy thinking that I could ever stop at one or two.

Don't beat yourself up!

ConfusedNC

Welcome back - I'd guess 99% of people here (myself included) have had the same experience thinking they could control it, only to fall flat on their asses. It's just not worth it to play the game - life is too precious.