legaleagle

Hey everyone. I have seen 2 different counselors and have been through IOP, and everyone I have come in contact with thinks that I am an alcoholic, however, I can't make myself believe that. I know that I have a problem and I know that my life is better without booze (today is 45 days) but I just can't bring myself to truly admit (accept?) that I an an alcoholic. I have always been a binge drinker that looses control and blacks out. Deep down I know that I probably am, but just can't help but think that just because I don't drink everyday and make it to work and haven't been arrested or really messed up any relationships, that I am just someone who abuses alcohol.

I guess I am just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat now or was in the past? and do you think that I can really do this sobriety thing (which I really do want to) if I don't consider myself an alcoholic??

Thanks everyone for reading.

Dee74

Hi legaleagle
For many years I wasn't an alcoholic cos I didn't drink every day, then I wasn't an alcoholic cos I only drank nights, then I wasn't an alcoholic cos I was stressed and needed a daytime drink to get through...

I wasn't an alcoholic cos I'd never had a DUI or a criminal record...and then sure I started to lose gfs and a few jobs but it was just a bad phase I was going through...I wasn't an alcoholic.

I think you see where I'm going with this.

Alcoholisms not so much about how much you drink or how often, it's about what happens to you when you do

Whether you want to call yourself an alcoholic or not - ^ this is not good, LE.

D

ConfusedNC

In my experience, I was always able to lie to myself about the extent of my problem because I kept my sh!# together, had a good job, no legal problems, etc... So I kept right on drinking. That got me to the age of 33 with a messed up liver and other health problems that are hopefully being resolved (but may be permanent).

IMHO, the label that you use is irrelevant. What matters is your recognition that you don't have control over it (and it sounds like you are OK admitting that). And if you can't control it, you gotta take yourself out of the game. Simple as that. I think your chances of successful sobriety are better if you face up that reality, but that is just a guess.

Good luck.

CarolD

Ok by me. Wht bother to ask anyone?

loveon2legs

I didn't label myself one either until I was about 3 months.now I'm almost 5 months into my recovery...and really it doesn't matter to me...what matters to me is how much better my life is without alcohol in it!!

Sudz No More

I used to be an alcohol abuser, but then again I really used to abuse the idea that I was just abusing alcohol. After awhile, I was really abusing the fact that I was really just an alcoholic. Sometimes, I would say to myself as I drove for more beer already hammered. "So what, I'm an alcoholic". It all ends up being relevantly irrelevant. You are or you aren't.

Sorry to have to say it sounds like you are.

ConfusedNC

Very true. When I first kind of took the blinders off and started to realize I had a problem, I stressed out a great deal about the alcoholic label. Now, I simply couldn't care less and am just living a relatively happy life that does not involve alcohol.

The line I have drawn in the sand is just that alcohol is no longer a part of my life in any way. On that I am adamant, everything else I take it as it comes.

Peter

What exactly do you mean by "label" anyway ....?

I consider myself an alcoholic, I don't consider it a "label".

When we talk about "labels" as it relates to people it always tends to have some negative connotation.

laurie6781

I lied to myself for a long time. When I finally found recovery I still didn't want to say I was an 'alcoholic.'

Then I read the following line in the Big Book of AA one day, and it was like a sledge hammer hitting me as it described me COMPLETELY:

This is from Chapter 4, first paragraph:

Yep that was me!

Today ............................ I am a proud, productive, alcoholic woman with over 29 years of sobriety.

Love and hugs,

KingsCross

I avoided the alcoholic label for a long time. I finally decided I was one when I could not stop drinking when I wanted to. I mean, "I'm NOT going to drink this weekend", and feeling worthless on Friday afternoon walking into the store getting another 1.75. That's an alcoholic.

Cornczech

I guess you can say that I struggle with that "label" as well. When I had my "first" nervous breakdown after a hysterectomy....I was told by the medical staff that I was not an alcoholic, but that I abused alcohol because I was "mentally ill"...bi-polar.....hormonally f*ed up (oops...can I write that?)...that was in 2007...then in 2009, I went through rehab because I was now blacking out on weekends after my husband and I would go out drinking, (Oh...I Do miss those days...not for the drink...but for the fun my husband and I had together....the friends we made.....)
I do not run to the liquor store when I run out of beer.....I do not drink the vanilla, (a story I was told about a great-great uncle or something) and I have not lost anything, (but my sanity) from drinking....but the funny thing is....I still drink, by the way......my life kind of revolves around my beer....can I drink today...I will leave work early to get my beer...I count the beers...I get sad when my tightly controlled amount is drunk...and though I don't run to the store for more.....I still THINK about it....waaaaa...I am out of beer....then, when the beer hits...the depression hits...the sickness in the gut.....THEN I KNOW I have a problem...who cares if I am LABELED.....my life revolves around beer...period.......

Zencat

IMHO alcohol dependence or abuse can have the same serious consequences. I think of myself as a person that had a problem that once had me. I call it addiction, but whatever I call it means less that what I do about it.

It works for me.

Yes, I think you can do the sobriety deal regardless of what you wish to call a condition that, left untreated, could possibly destroy everything you hold near and dear to you, including your health and life.

hendershot

In my experience, using euphomisms to describe alcoholism is a practice of self-deception. You may not be an alcoholic, which is fine, though it sounds as if you think that you are. For me, I didn't want to call myself an alcy because I didn't want to be one. My emotional need not to be led me to rationalizations just like you, e.g. I didn't do X so I am not an alcy. I never got any traction in sobriety until I finally admitted to myself that I was an alcoholic. Short stints of sobriety tended to fall flat when I convinced myself that since I was not an alcy I could have a drink or two.

mercurial me

Never discount the laziness of human beings too.
It's so much easier to slap a label on someone than to delve deeper into the individuality of a person (eg."he's a fag," "she's a ****", "he's a drunk", etc)

Labels should be for canned foods only in my opinion

Lenina

Legaleagle,

I know this is going to sound trite, I don't mean for it to, though. But, it is what it is. For me, it no longer matters what it's called. What matters is the solution. For me, it's no drinking, taking care of myself, learning new coping skills and not drinking!

For years I stayed stuck in the why's and what's. I finally realized none of that really mattered. I was sick. I needed to be well. I have to treat my malady, illness, disease, whatever it may be, every day.

I hope this helps. I don't want you suffer as long as I did so unnecessarily.

Love,

Lenina

ElegantlyWasted

I guess I am just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat now or was in the past?"
3 failed attempts to quit on my own, 2 with AA untill I finally came to terms with it all. Problem drinker vs alkie vs binge specialist. The distinctions no longer really bother me, but the prejudicial label that some apply (frequently closeted addicts themselves) does to the extent it dissuaded some from getting the help they need. 45 days is great. Figure out how to come to terms with it in any way that works for you.

yeahgr8

I go to a CBT counselor...i love the guy hes great!

Now at AA I am Cliff and I am an alcoholic and i went there to get sober...but one hour a week and in a few emails here and there to my counselor i am a........

SUBSTANCE ABUSER

Hmmmm! Anyways i prefer alcoholic for 2 reasons it is drinking related and it is synonymous with a group that is recognised internationally with getting help for alcohol...

Label aside it was crucial for me to admit and accept i was an alcoholic/substance abuser because even though i had turned into a daily drinker for the last 2 years i was sure that i wasn't drinking that much and my bar kept getting lower, i.e. well if i ever get to living on the streets or get a serious disease ill quit...it started off if i drink more than on weekends ill quit about 20 years ago...and IMO avoiding the label is all about DENIAL with a mix of RATIONALISATION and JUSTIFICATION thrown in and a sprinkle of FALSE PRIDE AND EGO on top which is what kept me from really getting help all those years and meant i could keep on drinking...

I like the label drunk too...whatever gets you a step closer to reality:-)

sailorjohn

Welcome!!!

In the program we call these 'yets'. Haven't been arrested-yet. Haven't lost my job-yet. Someone who 'abuses' alcohol isn't necessarily an alcoholic-kids come to mind-but all alcoholics abuse alcohol to some extent, depending on the progression of their disease. If you have reservations about whether or not you actually have a drinking problem-a 'nice' euphemism for it-and you in fact do have a drinking problem, you'll probably keep repeating the cycle.

Oh yeah, even better, recall getting a DUI 25 years ago and telling my girlfriend that I was, in fact an alcoholic.

Still drank after that. And on most levels, knew I had a very serious problem.

What you label it is entirely up to you, and no one elses business.

I find it helpful to label myself alcoholic, or more correctly, recovering alcoholic. Helpful in the sense that I know precisely what I'm dealing with.

Wilde10

leageleagle.
Well done with all those days of sobriety. My guess is that now you are 'deciding' if you can drink normally or not. You asked if anybody else was in the same boat. I am. My sobriety is younger than yours since I 'started' last Sunday, after drinking Friday and Saturday night. No more than half a bottle of wine shared with my husband over dinner. I have a good job, two beautiful kids who have never ever seen me with a glass of wine in my hands.

Nobody else has ever raised a question about my drinking. But I am always, constantly craving it, counting the days I have drunk or not and how much and dying to get those days when I am travelling alone and I can just drink as much as I want without anybody around. The image disgusts me. But I still do it. Leave alone a month and I will do it everyday. This is the addiction 'click' to me: those things we do, knowing they are bad for us, after promising we will not do them again. But we still do them at any given time to get fixed.

stugotz

I am allergic to alcohol. It makes be break out in handcuffs......