confession from a former drunk
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bethlehem, PA
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confession from a former drunk
I have a strange fascination with watching people my age, (40s) get inebriated. Of course since I don't drink and don't go to bars I rarely have the opportunity to make such observation, but when I do I just can't believe how quickly the alcohol goes to work and how remarkable the effects are. I'm not judgmental or mocking, I just sit back and watch and realize that's how I was, all the time!
On the flip side, one of my students, (college age,) is a binge drinker and after becoming somewhat close to him over the years I told him about my former problem drinking. I hoped to influence him to cut back. What I didn't intend was for him to go talk to one of my colleagues, who knew me back in the bad old days, and get some juicy stories of my exploits as a drunk. That's embarrassing.
I notice that the younger coworkers in my department never ask me along to events where drinking will be a major component. That's okay with me, I suppose. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by NOT drinking!
On the flip side, one of my students, (college age,) is a binge drinker and after becoming somewhat close to him over the years I told him about my former problem drinking. I hoped to influence him to cut back. What I didn't intend was for him to go talk to one of my colleagues, who knew me back in the bad old days, and get some juicy stories of my exploits as a drunk. That's embarrassing.
I notice that the younger coworkers in my department never ask me along to events where drinking will be a major component. That's okay with me, I suppose. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by NOT drinking!
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Pongo...The fact that others feel uncomfortable with your non drinking status reveals they are more than probably in the same waters than you but on thi sinking boat. I cannot imagine any non-alcoholic having a problem with it.
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Pongo...The fact that others feel uncomfortable with your non drinking status reveals they are more than probably in the same waters than you but on thi sinking boat. I cannot imagine any non-alcoholic having a problem with it.
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Originally Posted by pongo 
I notice that the younger coworkers in my department never ask me along to events where drinking will be a major component. That's okay with me, I suppose. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by NOT drinking!
Maybe they respect your sobriety and don't want to do anything to jeopardize it.
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Location: Bethlehem, PA
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I don't know if the younger people in my department are problem drinkers, and most of them have no clue about the maintenance of my sobriety. They don't even know I'm in recovery, just that I don't drink. I think it's simply that they don't want to drink when someone else is not. It's not as much fun, you know?
It may just be the difference in our ages and outlook. For enjoyment I like to go to museums, galleries, films, modern dance, hiking, or just conversation over coffee. I'm a divorced mother of two, and most of my colleagues are single, unattached, in fact several have made the decision against children in their mid-thirties.
I think I used to be hurt by not being included, but now I just brush it off. It's their issue, not mine. I do find them mildly amusing when imbibing, however.
It may just be the difference in our ages and outlook. For enjoyment I like to go to museums, galleries, films, modern dance, hiking, or just conversation over coffee. I'm a divorced mother of two, and most of my colleagues are single, unattached, in fact several have made the decision against children in their mid-thirties.
I think I used to be hurt by not being included, but now I just brush it off. It's their issue, not mine. I do find them mildly amusing when imbibing, however.
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 525
I'm 47, and i do the same thing. I'm not judging, i'm just aware.
And like you said, it's amazing how fast it starts to change the person in small ways. Just a 2nd glass of wine changes a person.
I was at a couple graduation parties in the last couple weeks. I'm flexing my sober muscles, and walking up to people at parties and introducing myself and seeing where the conversation leads. it works 99% of the time. People at parties are there to talk. Why did i feel i needed some drinks to do that before?
Anyway, i walked up to one couple, and we're having a nice chat. The woman drank 2 glasses of wine in 20 min, and was on her third. (just like i used to do). She got quite animated with her stories after only 20 min!
She was moving around much more, not just standing in her place like the rest of us. Before the wine kicked in, she was more reserved.
People do get more energy, more confidence, more insistent to talk. And i like listening. it works well.
other friends gave me an extra ticket to a baseball game. Lots of drinking, and i was sober but having a blast. The next day, one guy especially was so quiet and embarrassed around me. And he hadn't really done anything! We used to be friendlier, but now i notice a distance. wtf! We rarely talk anymore. Bummer, but at least i don't have any guilt or wondering if i did something in a hazy alcoholy blur.
i notice so many changes around me from my one change to not drink.
And like you said, it's amazing how fast it starts to change the person in small ways. Just a 2nd glass of wine changes a person.
I was at a couple graduation parties in the last couple weeks. I'm flexing my sober muscles, and walking up to people at parties and introducing myself and seeing where the conversation leads. it works 99% of the time. People at parties are there to talk. Why did i feel i needed some drinks to do that before?
Anyway, i walked up to one couple, and we're having a nice chat. The woman drank 2 glasses of wine in 20 min, and was on her third. (just like i used to do). She got quite animated with her stories after only 20 min!
She was moving around much more, not just standing in her place like the rest of us. Before the wine kicked in, she was more reserved.
People do get more energy, more confidence, more insistent to talk. And i like listening. it works well.
other friends gave me an extra ticket to a baseball game. Lots of drinking, and i was sober but having a blast. The next day, one guy especially was so quiet and embarrassed around me. And he hadn't really done anything! We used to be friendlier, but now i notice a distance. wtf! We rarely talk anymore. Bummer, but at least i don't have any guilt or wondering if i did something in a hazy alcoholy blur.
i notice so many changes around me from my one change to not drink.
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