Starburst

I am a wife of an AH, when we married 11 years ago, he got clean and sober by himself, refused AA and medical advice and would do today! he was clean for 8 years and relapsed, I confronted him, when I had all my facts and I was sure 2 years ago, promised me he would stop. I have since discovered he didnt. he hides all his bottles although I find them, I think he drinks half a bottle a day or more of brandy, lies about where he is going so he can purchase his A on his own. I know for sure when he wakes up in the AM he has a tot or two. So what do I do now? has anyone else experienced this. He is a nice guy. I know one can't confront them when drunk, as far as Im concerned I think he just drinks small doses all day, so to me he must be permanently mellow. I do love him and wont leave, I have no income, my transport has not yet been repaired, I have nowhere to go. I have been through this already before we got married. I just fear even if he gets sober again, it will be that much easier to relapse again. Any ideas on how you would handle this, I know I can't cure him, but I do believe HP will have a hand in it, just need to know how I can deal with it for myself. Currently I am just going about life as I normally would. Looking after my girls, keeping the home environment stable. Thanks for reading.

ninja7

Hi, mamm!

I am sorry to hear about your AH's relapse. I am recovering alcoholic. I know you we can not change active alcoholic though. Is there any change you make family intervention with any effective relatives? I also recommend you go to Al-anon meeting. There are lots of nice people who have knowledge and experience there. Your recovery is also very important in this situation. After you go to Al-anon, you can let him go to AA. In my experience, once I went to AA, I decided to be sober. There are a lot of nice people and I think there are kinds of HP.

I prey for you and your AH.

Peter

I drank/drugged for 20 yrs and my addictions dam near killed me.

I have zero tolerance for alcoholic/addict behaviour in my house, sneaking and lying and manipulating

I live alone with my 5 y.o son and i am prepared to live alone for the rest of my life because of it.

flutter

It doesn't sound like he's anywhere near ready to quit.. questions is, are you prepared to deal with this for the rest of his life, however long it may be?

NewMe11109

Hi Mamm- I am sorry.

A great resource for you would be the SR Friends and Family forum at Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Alanon has helped many.

Remember, you didn't cause this, you can't control it, and you won't cure him. This he has to want to do himself. Alcohol is baffling, cunning, and powerful.

It is a disease that most can't solve on their own without help and support (and this applies to the family as well). Keep posting. Perhaps re-post your request in the Friends and Family section.

Starburst

To be honest, I married him knowing his and my family history. He is a Christian, but has backslidden, I have lived with him this way before, divorce/seperation is not something Im keen on. If the tables were turned and they could be, my D was an A, he died when I was 15, due to this I don't drink at all. anyway I wouldnt want him to leave me because I had the problem. I have faith he will turn around.