sleepie

I have been going to meetings everyday since Monday. Not long, but a heck of a lot more than I ever have before and today I went to one already- and I am off to another soon. I am sad though, I have a temporary sponsor and she helps a lot but I am on meds for depression and OCD, all these posts about cirrhosis have me convinced I am going to die of liver disease anyway even though I am quitting (only on day 4) and it just brings me down. I've just been really tired and sad. Maybe I should stop taking meds since they will probably further damage my liver? I just don't know what to do, all these meetings and phone calls and work after the workday are stressful. I drank to ease the OCD but what if I just hasten my death by replacing alcohol for chemicals? I don't know what to do. I'm so worried, it's really eating at me.

AcceptingChange

thanks for your post.

if you can, just follow the course. Don't make any decisions, just let your counselors and AA friends help you through this very difficult period. You are adjusting to so many things. You need time.
If you can, try not to 'listen' to those thoughts and feelings. Just observe them.
Don't react to them, and don't generate new feelings like "ugh, i hate my life cuz i have these feelings." Just try to watch them like a movie, detached.

But please, follow the path your AA friends are walking you down. No big decisions for the first 3 months. Some people even say the first year.
Definately not the first week.

A beautiful butterfly will emerge from this cocoon of darkness. It's been hiding in the winter of addiction, and the thaw is beginning. Let the sun do it's work in it's own time.

Sudz No More

Yeah, it blows. I'm with you, tough stuff for sure. Never sure where it will end. But we must be hopeful for the future. Hang in there.

LifeBlows

First of all anti-depressants take at least 30 days to kick in so don't stop taking them. Also did you talk to your doctor about how much you were drinking and your concerns about your liver.

Third, I know there has been a lot of liver talk lately BUT, alcohol affects everyone differently. So if you are so concerned, about the liver get the tests done (if you can).

You know what else I keep hearing about the liver: it is the most resilient organ in the body. And if you are kind to it, it may get better really quick.

Somone was posting about his liver tests, and when he first saw the doc he was jacked. Within a month of sobriety he was nearly back to normal.
Stay off the hooch and things will be better.

ImReadyToQuit

That was me

rws177

With out giving medical advice I'd have to think that quitting drinking for the past 4 days is the best possible thing you could have done for your liver. Doctors wouldn't give things like anti-depresants if they wrecked your liver, however no doctor will prescibe mass amounts of booze. I think that what you have been doing so far is great!! Hang in there, don't stop taking your meds without talking to your doctor. Keep up witn the AA and keep the booze from going thru your body, mind liver and everything else.

sleepie

I guess. I just tend to obsess over it anyway - which ironically leads to drinking to quell the obsessive thoughts. I have a neurological disorder that goes hand in hand with OCD and ADD but I only medicate the OCD. Anyway, 7 months ago I drank like a fiend, doubled up on xanax, ended up in the ER and my tests apparently still came back normal...? I was so resentful and alone when released from the hospital though, I continued to drink, and had a grand time with hydrocodone as well over the holidays. Brilliant? NO

DetroitRock

I had a physical a couple of years ago and they told me they thought I had Hep C, which would have been nearly impossible given the conditions needed to contract it. My liver enzyme levels were 3-4x normal and a sonogram revealed a fatty layer around my liver.
After two weeks of sobriety, I returned and one of the enzyme levels was normal, the other a bit high, and the fatty layer was almost nonexistent.