ChargersFan

HI everyone,

Been lurking reading the threads here for a few days now, seems like a great community. Don't really have much of a point to this post, other than to get some thoughts down, I guess.

I have a definite issue with drinking. Not in the sense that the first thing I'm doing in the morning is cracking open a bottle of vodka (my 'traditional' view of an alcoholic), but more that I don't have a good sense of when to stop. Other people have a switch... the 'I've had enough' switch, I very very rarely trigger that switch. I'm usually the last of my friends in the bar.... once I get started, it just kinda rolls...

I've always drunk pretty heavily, mostly at weekends, but increasingly I'm worried about my inability to stop when I start. Black out fairly frequently, wake up (hungover) feeling embarrassed, often wondering what exactly I did. Most weekends, if I'm honest. It's clear that there's a problem there.

I've recently started running to help me feel a bit more centered, which is really helping. In truth I think I should probably give up drinking altogether, and that I'd be happier generally if I did, but in all honesty I'm not ready to go to AA just yet.

Anyhow, no real point to this post I guess, other than to introduce myself, and get some thoughts down in writing. I think it's helped already.

Thanks for reading

Ceres

Welcome. :-)

least

There are other recovery programs besides AA. Here's a list:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html

A lot of people here use a variety of methods to stay sober; counseling, recovery groups, out-patient therapy, and some here use only this site and some real life friends and family.

Whatever you choose to work your recovery, work it like your life depends on it - 'cause it does. I'm almost six months sober and living sober really rocks! I wish you success however you go about it. Welcome to SR!

ChargersFan

Thanks folks

DayTrader

Thanks man... what you said hit home for me cuz I did and felt the same way. I knew it was getting out of hand but didn't believe it was that bad and REALLY didn't believe that there'd be much fun in my life if I gave it up altogether. I figured AA was just a group of ppl who talked one another into not drinking.....one day at a time. What I've learned it that it's way more focused on how to enjoy yourself and your life without booze "interfering" like it always seemed to do once I started drinking.

My hat's off to you for starting to do something different than what you've been doing. That's really the hardest part.....making the decision that something's got to change. That's what the various support groups are designed to do....help you continue to make that decision to incorporate change into your life. The cool part is once you start making some of the suggested changes, a whole "new" life opens up that you never knew existed.

While I did have a lot of fun some of the times I was drinking, I didn't have much general happiness in my life when I wasn't. Not that I was miserable all the time but life just seemed better after a couple drinks. Now though, life's pretty good most of the time and REALLY fun quite often. There's still the odd bad day here and there but nothing like it used to be. Recovery is a cool lifestyle... I hope you give it a legitimate shot.

tomw

I've found that I'm a compulsive everything. I too have difficulty stopping once I start. I once replaced drinking with running and went sober for almost four years but I became addicted to running and ran myself into the ground until I couldn't run anymore...couldn't stop. Now I'm here again trying to stop drinking but looking for a replacement that won't potentially be addicting...round and round I go

Almath

Dear ChargersFan,

A big warm welcome to the SR Community!

You've definitely come to the right place and you're going to get a huge amount of support, guidance, advice, motivation and inspiration here from good people. Please keep posting your thoughts as many of us have been where you are and can really relate to your drinking pattern and the blackouts, etc..including me! I'm on day 115 today and wouldn't be this far without SR. In the early days I made a list of all the things I wouldn't miss about drinking and I only have to look back at the list to send shudders down my spine.. With distance now I can see how far I had fallen and I thought I was drinking normally but now that the fog has lifted I can see how bad things really were..and something had to be done about it..

Take it day by day and keep coming back here to SR for support and to write your thoughts - or even just to rant/complain if and when you need to let off some steam :-)

Big hugs,

Almath

wren

Welcome, Chargers Fan.

Sounds like you recognize you have a problem. Do you have any other plans to help you stop besides running?

ChargersFan

Thanks everyone, much appreciated the support.

My immediate plans are to knock the drinking on the head for the moment, and focus my efforts on running, which I'm really enjoying. First time I've felt truly at peace mentally in a long time... have been out four times in eight days no, and am working on setting a goal of later in the year for a race of some sort.

Have't looked at any other forms of help just yet. Have a doctor's appointment on Friday to talk about something else, so I'm going to mention my concerns to him and see what he has to say.

I would like to be able to control my drinking, as I do enjoy it, particularly the social side of it. I don't enjoy where I've been taking it lately though, so need to find out more about that.

Any other tips/advice/encouragement/words of warning (or anything at all) greatly appreciated!

Thanks again.

BTW - Almath... who's that in your profile pic?

Dee74

Welcome to SR Chargers Fan

D

ChargersFan

Thanks Dee!

keithj

Well, whether you are interested in AA or not, here are a couple of truths I've learned from that program that I owe my life to. And I learned all of it by comparing my own experience against the experience contained in AA's Big Book.

That 'can't stop once I start' thing is the one symptom common to all alcoholics, and never occurs in the normal drinker. AA describes it as a manifestation of a physical allergy to alcohol. If you have this one symptom, you're probably alcoholic, regardless of whether or not you crack open the breakfast vodka.

The condition of alcoholism is progressive. If you are alcoholic, there is very little chance of ever being able to drink with any control. The alcoholic's drinking almost always gets worse over time, never better, despite some short term ups and downs in consumption level. There is no known remedy for this inconvenient truth.

I'll save the hopeless nature stuff for later as you don't sound like you are there yet.

Snarf

If I was a Chargers fan, I'd want to drink too.

I kid, I kid. I'm a Falcons fan, so trust me, they've given me many reasons over the years to crack the bottle.

As others have already stated, people use many different tools to stop drinking. There's not one prescription for it. AA has been a huge help for me. I think it's important to speak face-to-face with people who have experienced things similar to what I've been through. It helps to hear their stories, and I leave each meeting having heard something I needed to hear, even if I didn't know it at the time.

If you have the desire to stop drinking, there are plenty of people here who can help you. Hang around, ask questions, read posts, get suggestions. If you're going to quit drinking, it probably helps to talk to people who have done it, wouldn't you say?

ChargersFan

@keith - thanks for that, very helpful. appreciate you taking the time.

@Snarf - ha, at least the falcons haven't quite had the burden of expectation that the chargers have. we were 'supposed' to win each of the last 3 years

Have another thought/question for folks. Again, not necessarily looking for any answers or definitive direction (nor a diagnosis, of course), just getting some stuff down in writing because I'm finding it helpful.

I tend to drink more when I'm unhappy. Have always had that 'switch' issue, but it's definitely much more pronounced/dangerous when I'm sad. I got divorced last year, so there's been a lot of that lately, but again if I'm honest it's always been there (the switch thing) to varying degrees.

There's not a guarantee that the switch thing will kick in, but it's a definite worry. And the more sad or emotional I feel, the more likely it is to kick in. Drinking to mask other stuff that's going on in my head, I guess.

Does that sound familiar to anyone?

faith101

[ In truth I think I should probably give up drinking altogether, and that I'd be happier generally if I did, but in all honesty I'm not ready to go to AA just yet.

You are in the right place-especially for now- you have made a first step to connect with others who are experiencing or have experienced where you are. This site offers meetings-step discussions-etc.
You may want to, however, get a hold of the AA literature-big book- so you can start understanding things from that perspective to see if you are open to it.

I'm a high school teacher- and I have already let 2 of my graduating seniors know about this site so that they can either start thinking about what they might want to do about stopping drug use- or if/when they are ready-they have a comfortable place to start and continue. They like many are hesitant about going to that first meeting- so this gets them comfortable with others who are in their position and who supportive. One is addicted to weed/drinking/acid/x- the other weed(laced with embalming fluid-yikes) and that road. Both were receptive and had the look in their eyes like- thanks and thanks even more for not judging.

smacked

Welcome.. I think most of us went thru the bargaining phase of "if I could just control it", which as most of us know now that is impossibe for an alcoholic. What fun is that anyways..I liked to get ****** up. Find new social outlets, your boozing buddies won't miss you (sad but true fact..usually), make some healthy connections, focus on running.. I love running, the hills were my friend in my early sober days, still are. Read here..post.. blog..

Happy to see ya!

smacked

Oh I wanted to add, I drank for all kinds of reasons too, excuses really. I found a psychologist that was much more helpful than a bottle ever was and poof (ok, not poof, it was a lot of HARD work), once I addressed a few things in a healthy way, my world looked a bit brighter, and it only gets better and better.

stugotz

Stopping drinking is the easy part. AA answered all the questions that came with staying sober. The drinking was just a symptom for me, AA has taught me to identify and deal with life on lifes terms.