A few dilemmas..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 2
A few dilemmas..
Hopefully this is the right section for a sort of an introductory post. I'd like to take more time to explore the forum before posting but I'm in a bit of a rush before work, sober - the first time in awhile.
Over the years I've progressed into a daily drinker and slowly alcohol became ingrained into everything I do. I often go to work with more than 5-6 shots in me.. I'm buzzed before I go to drink with my friends or to the parties.
Recently I decided to pick up hiking since there's a couple smaller mountains around and made an effort to reduce my drinking, but that only lasted a few days before I bought another half-gallon(1.75L). My typical rate for the past half year or so is a half-gallon every 2 days. I've made a few other attempts to cut back, but I've never made an attempt to totally quit.
My dilemmas are:
1. One of my jobs is in a liquor store
2. All my friends drink.
I'm sure the second problem is more common for most, but the first one is going to make it quite difficult, I think.
Nothing bad has happened to me as of yet from alcohol, but I have the foresight to know that it will. I see and interact with the result of this habit every day with some of the regular customers.
I'm 25, and I'd still like to drink with my friends casually, but 1 drink becomes 2 and 2 becomes 8 pretty fast when I start.
I've been trying to replace the drinking with more active hobbies and even academically, but I just combine alcohol with them as well.
Any advice?
Over the years I've progressed into a daily drinker and slowly alcohol became ingrained into everything I do. I often go to work with more than 5-6 shots in me.. I'm buzzed before I go to drink with my friends or to the parties.
Recently I decided to pick up hiking since there's a couple smaller mountains around and made an effort to reduce my drinking, but that only lasted a few days before I bought another half-gallon(1.75L). My typical rate for the past half year or so is a half-gallon every 2 days. I've made a few other attempts to cut back, but I've never made an attempt to totally quit.
My dilemmas are:
1. One of my jobs is in a liquor store
2. All my friends drink.
I'm sure the second problem is more common for most, but the first one is going to make it quite difficult, I think.
Nothing bad has happened to me as of yet from alcohol, but I have the foresight to know that it will. I see and interact with the result of this habit every day with some of the regular customers.
I'm 25, and I'd still like to drink with my friends casually, but 1 drink becomes 2 and 2 becomes 8 pretty fast when I start.
I've been trying to replace the drinking with more active hobbies and even academically, but I just combine alcohol with them as well.
Any advice?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 39
no advice, but good luck.
I know personally I'd have to look for another job. No way I could be in a liquor store for minutes or even hours without being overly tempted and buy something.
All my friends drink as well. I havent told them I working on giving it up yet. Havent crossed that hurdle yet but would be interested in others opinions.
Hope you do well.
I know personally I'd have to look for another job. No way I could be in a liquor store for minutes or even hours without being overly tempted and buy something.
All my friends drink as well. I havent told them I working on giving it up yet. Havent crossed that hurdle yet but would be interested in others opinions.
Hope you do well.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
All of my "friends" that I drank with turned out to be drinking buddies. Only 3 true friends in the lot. In terms of the job, I know an active AA member that owns a liquor store, and another that owns a bar.
Not everyone can do that however. You need to decide what your priorities are.
Have you ever thought about an AA meeting?
Not everyone can do that however. You need to decide what your priorities are.
Have you ever thought about an AA meeting?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Well capn' you are in the right place, stick around. There is someone here on SR that works in a liquor store, but she has real good AA recovery goin' on.
You are drinkin' enough that you should watch out for DT's... seek medical attention, don't underestimate them... they can kill.
Keep posting and Welcome to SR!!
Mark
You are drinkin' enough that you should watch out for DT's... seek medical attention, don't underestimate them... they can kill.
Keep posting and Welcome to SR!!
Mark
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
[QUOTE=Mark75;2604415]
You are drinkin' enough that you should watch out for DT's... seek medical attention, don't underestimate them... they can kill.
/QUOTE]
I agree. Look this over before going cold-turkey:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
You are drinkin' enough that you should watch out for DT's... seek medical attention, don't underestimate them... they can kill.
/QUOTE]
I agree. Look this over before going cold-turkey:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Columbus Ohio
Posts: 55
I have said there are 3 places I could never work, a liqour store, a bar/resturant that serves alcohol and a pharmacy. You said one of your jobs is in a liqour store so it must me perhaps a secondary job so maybe you could find a new one that has nothing to do with alcohol that could help you out alot.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome CaptainTeebs
I had to make some serious lifestyle changes to stay sober - I was a musician, and all my work and social life revolved around drinking.
I didn't want to change - but I didn't want to drink anymore, y'know?
I made the changes - I'd given up playing in bars anyway cos I was too much of a drunk to get hired, but I walked away from a lot of drinking buddies (actually they walked away from me).... and 3 years on, my life has never been better. No exaggeration
Do see a doctor before you quit. Detox can be hazardous for some of us.
D
I had to make some serious lifestyle changes to stay sober - I was a musician, and all my work and social life revolved around drinking.
I didn't want to change - but I didn't want to drink anymore, y'know?
I made the changes - I'd given up playing in bars anyway cos I was too much of a drunk to get hired, but I walked away from a lot of drinking buddies (actually they walked away from me).... and 3 years on, my life has never been better. No exaggeration
Do see a doctor before you quit. Detox can be hazardous for some of us.
D
Last edited by Dee74; 05-21-2010 at 06:28 PM. Reason: clarity
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Captain - I was just wondering if there's anyway you could share with your boss about what's going on with you? If you had a few days away from the liquor store, it might help. That way, you could see a doctor (there may be some in your area that deal with addiction/detox, or just a doc-in-the-box), and get the alcohol out of your system. It will make you feel stronger and you'll have alot less anxiety and depression. When you're still on that d*mned
merry-go-round, everything seems impossible and thinking about the future (what about my friends, etc.) only adds to the anxiety that is a part of continually drinking/withdrawaling.
I don't know if that made sense to you, but I'm glad you're here and I hope you stick around for support. If you really want this, you can do it.
merry-go-round, everything seems impossible and thinking about the future (what about my friends, etc.) only adds to the anxiety that is a part of continually drinking/withdrawaling.
I don't know if that made sense to you, but I'm glad you're here and I hope you stick around for support. If you really want this, you can do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 2
Thanks for the replies. And wow, I didn't know the amount I was drinking could be a risky W/D. I knew it was certainly not healthy on my body despite me feeling okay most of the time. I do pretty regular cardio exercises, stay well hydrated, try to eat decent.. but I never get any sleep. It's 3am now and I have to be up at 8am to get ready for a 12 hour shift.
My friends are probably different than most drinking buddies..but who knows? I've been friends with the same core group of people for 10-12 years now, before alcohol. None of my friends are hardcore drinkers, I'm about the only one who takes it home. Yea they drink during the week sometimes, but often go weeks without it. In my teenage years we used to get wasted a couple times a month, but for years in my 20s I really had no desire to drink and never got any peer pressure from them. In the past few years it's been a completely different story and I'm drinking alone, socially, wherever.
It's the job I think will be the most difficult part. I have a lot of anti-social days and between working with the public and face-to-face with liquor every direction I turn keeps the booze on my mind non-stop. I've been thinking about quitting the job as I don't really need the money from it, but even though I hate the job it's hard for me to do. As much I hate it I haven't missed a day since I've started working there rain, snow, sick, drunk or sober. I talk about quitting all the time for reasons aside from the temptation but never do.
I'll read up on the stopping cold turkey stuff, thanks for the tips on that. Had no clue. I wake up with no nausea, no headaches and really underestimate how far I've gotten, I suppose. I might be really cloudy headed and depressed when I wake up, but the physical sickness isn't there anymore. And I'm confident that's not a good thing.
For right now there's no real obvious reason to make me want to stop other than knowing what it'll become. It's a weird place to be. I know I need to quit, but I don't really want to and every day being exposed to what I'm trying to avoid is making it quite difficult.
Tonight I only took 5 shots with much more available to me. Definitely an improvement from last night. For awhile I was under the impression this happened all so quickly, but in retrospect it has been years in the making.
My friends are probably different than most drinking buddies..but who knows? I've been friends with the same core group of people for 10-12 years now, before alcohol. None of my friends are hardcore drinkers, I'm about the only one who takes it home. Yea they drink during the week sometimes, but often go weeks without it. In my teenage years we used to get wasted a couple times a month, but for years in my 20s I really had no desire to drink and never got any peer pressure from them. In the past few years it's been a completely different story and I'm drinking alone, socially, wherever.
It's the job I think will be the most difficult part. I have a lot of anti-social days and between working with the public and face-to-face with liquor every direction I turn keeps the booze on my mind non-stop. I've been thinking about quitting the job as I don't really need the money from it, but even though I hate the job it's hard for me to do. As much I hate it I haven't missed a day since I've started working there rain, snow, sick, drunk or sober. I talk about quitting all the time for reasons aside from the temptation but never do.
I'll read up on the stopping cold turkey stuff, thanks for the tips on that. Had no clue. I wake up with no nausea, no headaches and really underestimate how far I've gotten, I suppose. I might be really cloudy headed and depressed when I wake up, but the physical sickness isn't there anymore. And I'm confident that's not a good thing.
For right now there's no real obvious reason to make me want to stop other than knowing what it'll become. It's a weird place to be. I know I need to quit, but I don't really want to and every day being exposed to what I'm trying to avoid is making it quite difficult.
Tonight I only took 5 shots with much more available to me. Definitely an improvement from last night. For awhile I was under the impression this happened all so quickly, but in retrospect it has been years in the making.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Ok.. that is a lot of alcohol for your body to process! I would encourage you to see your doctor to be sure all is well. I was drinking that much at the end and found out I was getting to blood alcohol limits that should have killed me. If you want to quit drinking there's lots of ways.. if you're an alcoholic, you won't be able to moderate, for long. As they say, its a whole life change.. new playgounds, playmates and playthings.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
And Teebs, the years will keep going by. Two months is like two weekends to me now. At 25, I was putting drink in me before _________ (whatever blank is, it depends for each person), but it was smaller amounts back then.
Sounds like you are on the way to having problems between now and 35 and 45. I didn't really want to quit either until 41 and never really tried, and the result I got was what I put into it. I don't trash the entire bulk of the years, but there could have been something else there instead of the drinking. Do you want your life to be about drinking or about you?
It sounds like you are making it about drinking by keeping the liquor store job when you don't even need that money. Take the fact that you reckon you need to quit drinking and see if you also want to quit. Smart people do stupid things. There is a knowledge to quitting and staying away from it that is different from what you would normally consider intelligence and education. It's really costly to get that education though in just about every way. Maybe you will get it faster than I did. I think there was a period of 5 or 10 years leading up to my quitting that grew very slowly in the desire to stop. I knew what was really happening while I was keeping drinking in my life, but I had more years to go by myself with it. That's the pitiful part for me - the knowing, but still doing it anyway - and that's why I know I am an alcoholic and can't have it in my life.
Sounds like you are on the way to having problems between now and 35 and 45. I didn't really want to quit either until 41 and never really tried, and the result I got was what I put into it. I don't trash the entire bulk of the years, but there could have been something else there instead of the drinking. Do you want your life to be about drinking or about you?
It sounds like you are making it about drinking by keeping the liquor store job when you don't even need that money. Take the fact that you reckon you need to quit drinking and see if you also want to quit. Smart people do stupid things. There is a knowledge to quitting and staying away from it that is different from what you would normally consider intelligence and education. It's really costly to get that education though in just about every way. Maybe you will get it faster than I did. I think there was a period of 5 or 10 years leading up to my quitting that grew very slowly in the desire to stop. I knew what was really happening while I was keeping drinking in my life, but I had more years to go by myself with it. That's the pitiful part for me - the knowing, but still doing it anyway - and that's why I know I am an alcoholic and can't have it in my life.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 16
Hi Captain,
I am 28 and have also had about the same daily volume you have, also for the past six months. About a fifth a night. I also really like what Toronto said about our desire to quit growing slowly over the course of a few years. At 25 I sorta wanted to stop. 26 a little more, 27 I was fed up. 28 I was convinced but didn't know if I could. Here I am 28 and I am on my fourth day sober. Ya know what sobered me up? Watching a TV show about a 26 old in the beginning stages on cirrhosis; two years younger than me.
If you want someone to talk to around your age who drank about the same amount, send me a message.
I am 28 and have also had about the same daily volume you have, also for the past six months. About a fifth a night. I also really like what Toronto said about our desire to quit growing slowly over the course of a few years. At 25 I sorta wanted to stop. 26 a little more, 27 I was fed up. 28 I was convinced but didn't know if I could. Here I am 28 and I am on my fourth day sober. Ya know what sobered me up? Watching a TV show about a 26 old in the beginning stages on cirrhosis; two years younger than me.
If you want someone to talk to around your age who drank about the same amount, send me a message.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Long Beach, CA
Posts: 16
I also wanted to add: If you would have asked me two weeks ago to sober up for four days, I would have literally froze with fear. I thought I never could; never would. I thought the sky would fall, snakes would come out of my head.
4 days for me is a bloody miracle. Try it out Captain.
4 days for me is a bloody miracle. Try it out Captain.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 318
A month or two ago I went inside a liquor store with a friend of mine. While he was in line waiting to pay, I started to meander around the store. Seeing all the pretty bottles was a huge trigger for me - as soon as I felt it I told my friend I would meet him outside. I get similar feelings if I walk into a restaurant and see the bottles lined up behind the bar area. The bottles are designed by marketing agents to make you want to purchase them - the shape, colour, labels, slogans, etc. Similarly, if I hear two glass containers clink together, I get the same trigger (I had to recently separate some of my vases in a cupboard for this reason. Weird!). There is absolutely no way I could work in a liquor store. For me, it would be the equivalent of giving a match and a can of gas to a recovering pyromaniac.
If working in a liquor store is a trigger and a contributing factor to your drinking, it is definitely not a healthy environment for you to be in. If you are serious about your sobriety, you should consider finding a new job. If you work there because you like the retail industry, there are a lot of other stores out there that sell different types of things - like computer stores, music stores, clothing stores, etc.
If working in a liquor store is a trigger and a contributing factor to your drinking, it is definitely not a healthy environment for you to be in. If you are serious about your sobriety, you should consider finding a new job. If you work there because you like the retail industry, there are a lot of other stores out there that sell different types of things - like computer stores, music stores, clothing stores, etc.
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