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AA or the Highway?

Old 05-18-2010, 08:49 PM
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AA or the Highway?

Why do all AA members believe AA is the only way to stay sober? All people I have encountered who go to AA believe and preach the steps, and that the AA way is your only chance at sobriety. I went to AA for the first 3 months of sobriety, and I feel like it helped me greatly. Now I feel that everything is so repetitive. I understand some people may need that repetitive message to stay sober, but I think some may practice abstinence other ways. Looking for some feedback, and peoples opinions. Thanks Yall!
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Old 05-18-2010, 09:00 PM
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I couldnt help ya, but I am interested in alternatives to AA as well. I'm just not into a group meeting thing
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Old 05-18-2010, 09:02 PM
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I agree some meetings are the same old same old. That is why I drive up to 30 minutes to attend meetings that are more educational and focus on the literature.
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Old 05-18-2010, 09:03 PM
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I don't attend AA, but from what I have learned, it's not going to meetings that keeps one sober, but working the steps. The steps require a person to seriously look inside themselves and be completely honest. Have you tried that part of AA?
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Old 05-18-2010, 09:09 PM
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I'm not an AA member but the vast majority of AAers I've met here over 3 years actually don't feel that way.

In the end, all any of us can do, AA or not, is share what worked for us...

D
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Old 05-18-2010, 09:10 PM
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I think it is meant to help others, once you think you graduated or are cured. It makes me realize where I was, and try to give hope to others. I believe if you feel awkward after awhile, or superior, you need to work on something.
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Old 05-18-2010, 09:12 PM
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I am AA and I don't believe that it is the only way. It's the only way that I know enough about to discuss. Yea, meetings can get repetitious, but only on the surface. The more I go, the more interesting they become, the more I enjoy going and seeing the people I have grown to like very much... Heck, I go at least 20 mins early so I can visit....

But... There is another more important reason to go. I go so I can, perhaps share some of the solution to one who may need it, if God wills it. I am part of something much bigger and more important than just myself.... and I love it.

But... it isn't the only way. So there, an exception to your rule!!



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Old 05-18-2010, 09:15 PM
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Im by no way cured. just feeling good about being sober, in other attempts at sobriety I was angry and not truly wanting it. yjis time im feeling different, and my attitude is different
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Old 05-18-2010, 09:18 PM
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I dont believe that AA has the monopoly on reccovery, neither does my sponsor!

Y'know it never ceases to amaze me the selfishness of the non-recovered alcoholic drunk or dry...here is a group that welcomes people with open arms, with the only requirement for memberhip a desire to stop drinking, goes far beyond just caring about the newcomer and shows them that they belong, shows them there is a solution and loves them as a brother/sister...

Asks for nothing in return other than to think about giving a dollar or two to the collection for rent, coffee and more important literature for other newcomers and money for budget advertising so the alcoholic who is desperate has somewhere to call...

And in strolls the alcoholic, this is boring, this is repetitive, why do i feel like i have to give money etcetcetcetc

Well DON'T GO TO AA THEN!!!!!!!!! I don't speak for AA and am supposed to show compassion to all alcoholics, but i don't want someone like this there anymore than they want to be there!

And if i were saying the sbove regardless of whather i had never even been to an AA meeting i would take a serious look at myself first...

Holy moly!
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Old 05-18-2010, 09:23 PM
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Why do all AA members believe AA is the only way to stay sober?
I don't think it is and I'm an AA'er... unless you're the type of alcoholic the book describes. If someone IS that description, I won't say it's impossible but it's not a risk I think is worth taking when your options are: happy sober life vs. dying an alcoholic death. I think you might be using a different (modern day) definition of "sober" than the one I've been taught by my great-grand sponsor with 51 yrs sobriety that AA subscribes to. Sober = being of sane mind and sound judgment.

Back to your question and my answer though, I should clarify that for some folks it's the only shot they have. Abstinence, for me, did nothing to treat the real problem(s).......and booze wasn't the real problem. Sure, it was A problem but it wasn't the source. Not drinking got me dry but it didn't get me sober.

I don't know anyone "in the program" who's really trying their best to live it that isn't happy AND sober. When you see it working over and over and over and over, it's hard NOT to recommend it, yanno?


The AA book refers, over and over, to "Alcoholics of our type." Not everyone IS an alcoholic of their type. If you are, AA works just about every time (so long as you realize it's more than just "going to meetings"). Nothing else I tried got me truly sober (as I described it).

*and really, it's not AA that works....... it's the power of a God of your understanding doing for you what you couldn't seem to do on your own + helping other alcoholics to get what you've got. AA and the steps are tools we use to get there.
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Old 05-18-2010, 10:06 PM
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AA is not the only way. The "Only" Way is to put the cap back on the bottle and leave it there.
Knowing that, if AA was simply about quitting drinking, it would be a One Step Program.
AA is more about adding Miracle Grow to the life you pissed away drinking that you are trying to get back.
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Old 05-18-2010, 10:14 PM
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Is there another group of people that are alchoholics, which live a day at a time to help people, and carry a message of truth, that I don't know about, that I can go to 24/7 when needed?
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Old 05-18-2010, 10:26 PM
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We have All Japan Abstainer Society in Japan. That helps people and carries messages to hospitals. It works also 24/7 for members. We also have AA in Japan as well.
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Old 05-19-2010, 04:25 AM
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The Big Book has been described as "poorly written, simplistic, and repetitive" I thank God and Bill for that.
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Old 05-19-2010, 05:40 AM
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What he ^^^^ said. Just imagine for a horrible minute if the Big Book was written in high-falutin' academic language......

As to your question, try other meetings, look, or actually LISTEN a little differently at the meetings you do go to. This was my problem initially. "Man listen to these sob-stories. NO WAY am I THAT bad. etcetc

I started going to a Big Book group and changed meetings, and no-one is more stunned than me at the turn around I've undergone.

Only problem was it took 6 more years for me to see that truth....

You are not alone
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Old 05-19-2010, 06:28 AM
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Many people say meetings are very important for their sobriety, not on this forum I know but at the many meetings I have been too. So what works for some doesn't work for others and that includes the 12 steps.

Because of people saying AA is this and AA is that, that was reason I had to leave AA and leave behind the great social network support I had built.

There are millions of routes to sobriety, even within AA, there is no unique solution. Most alcoholics who do quit drinking do so without any kind of help at all.

You have to find what works for you. Best of luck
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Old 05-19-2010, 07:09 AM
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Originally Posted by donweezy View Post
Why do all AA members believe AA is the only way to stay sober? All people I have encountered who go to AA believe and preach the steps, and that the AA way is your only chance at sobriety. I went to AA for the first 3 months of sobriety, and I feel like it helped me greatly. Now I feel that everything is so repetitive. I understand some people may need that repetitive message to stay sober, but I think some may practice abstinence other ways. Looking for some feedback, and peoples opinions. Thanks Yall!
I say "do whatever blows your hair back!" The key word here is "repetitive." When I drank, was I repetitive? Yup! I kept getting the same results. I kept getting drunk and making matters worse. In AA we're repetitive for different reason. Sobriety. The reason I keep doing the AA way is because it works for me. It's been working for me for 33 years and although I don't go to the number of meetings I used to go to, I still try to practice the principles in my affairs. I needed to be repetitive in order to grasp the meaning and gravity of those priciples in my life. What's the problem with being repetitive in a positive way, in order to not backslide into that negative repetition of drinking, and expecting a different result? That's nuts!!!

Hey, if anyone wants to try a different way than AA, knock yourself out. Give it a try. AA will still be here. My only point is that for an alcoholic like me, AA worked and is still working. I've never met an alcoholic like me who tried something else and succeeded. They always came back. Ya know, people who've driven chevys or fords, or used a certain toothpaste for years, swear by those things if they like the result and it seems to work for them. Why not talk up AA if it works? I say, if you think there's another way to get sober and stay sober, and you're happy with that way, come back and share your experiences with that way. AA will be here to listen.
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Old 05-19-2010, 07:14 AM
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Originally Posted by Mark75 View Post
I am AA and I don't believe that it is the only way. It's the only way that I know enough about to discuss.
AA works for me because it gets me around other alcoholics that truly understand what I am going through. I am extremely shy, and need to be around the fellowship. I have had so many peolple reach out to me, and I can't wait until I can help a newcomer like I was helped. So I keep coming back. I attend 3-4 meetings a week, and for me, it helps me stay sober.

Do I believe that AA is the only path towards sobriety? Absolutely not! As long as you are willing to take an honest look at yourself, be willing to grow as a person, and stay sober, I believe you are doing the right thing.

I know a friend who got involved in physical activity when he got sober. He is surrounded by healthy people, and he isn't sitting at home by himself, nor is he surrounding himself with drunks. Do I think that I am managing my sobriety better than him because I go to AA? Again, absolutely not! He is making healthy changes in his life, just as I am. We may be doing it differentlty, but we are both staying sober, and that is all that truly matters.

There is no right or wrong way to deal with recovery and sobriety. Do what you feel is right, and you'll be ok
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Old 05-19-2010, 07:20 AM
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I have simply found that I cannot stay sober on my own and that this is what works for me I have always heard at meetings to try AA for thirty days and if it doesn't work for you , we will gladly refund your misery. No one has ever forced AA on me. I also enjoy being accountable to other people with my sobriety that I can trust. Meetings are a life saver when it comes to being in a bad mood. I have found that if I am willing to go to a meeting when I am in a funk, it always cheers me up a bit. The Big Book is meant to get you in contact with a Higher power who can help you stop drinking. It has also provided a new way of living that works. All for the price of a cup of coffee. Ask your therapist for those rates.
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Old 05-19-2010, 07:56 AM
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I haven't been to AA yet..I am wanting to go to a women in recovery meeting...do I believe that AA is the only way...no I don't... I know of others who have gone, and it didn't work for them...I believe that everyone has their own path to take...I think that people who do the steps are passionate people because it has worked for them...and sometimes come across as "it's the only way" find what works for you.. only you can decide..

Big Hugs..
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