AA or the Highway?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Upstate NY, in the Adirondacks
Posts: 232
I went to AA for over a year
And it didn't work for me at all. I don't like giving up my responsilbilty that it is me who makes the decision to drink, not some mysterious disease. I went to an Outpatient intake the other day, and the addiction couselor told me I might like Rational Recovery better, and I have to say...it does resonate with me. I quit smoking by saying "I am NEVER going to smoke again." End of discussion. I said that on Friday, and while I get cravings, I am never going to drink again, so the cravings don't matter. One day at a time sounds too tenuous and uncommitted to me, although it does work for many people. I also don't like the black and white of AA - if you say you are never going to drink again, they say you are in denial, and need to work the steps. Well, I am sorry, I have a lot of flaws, but I am not dishonest, or selfish. Not at all, so the program just pisses me off. It was written 80 years ago, for middle aged men by a middle aged man, and not updated at ALL!!! Would you go to a doctor who is still treating cancer the way they did in the 1930s?? NO!!!!
I have read stats of between 5 and 30% of people who come into an AA meeting quit drinking for good. About the same as doing it on your own.
So if AA works for people, that is wonderful!! Many peoples' lives have been turned around by it. If not, explore other ways to get sober. As people here told me the other night, there is more than one path.
I have read stats of between 5 and 30% of people who come into an AA meeting quit drinking for good. About the same as doing it on your own.
So if AA works for people, that is wonderful!! Many peoples' lives have been turned around by it. If not, explore other ways to get sober. As people here told me the other night, there is more than one path.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Upstate NY, in the Adirondacks
Posts: 232
Originally Posted by sailorjohn 
That's a pretty broad generalization you're making there. How many meetings have you attended, and how many people have you met in the program?
That's better.
Jme, but the majority of the folks I encounter at meetings use the "I" statement, not the "you" statement.
"I feel that AA and the 12 steps saved my life"
When I was very new to the program, I always believed they were talking about/at me, when they were in fact using the "I" statement
My best thinking has led me down some pretty twisted roads.
Yes, there are probably any number of people out there that have managed to maintain sobriety without the program of AA, but I don't personally know any of these people, and therefore can't offer any advice as to how they did it, and in any event, it wasn't my experience.
I can tell you of my experience at 'going it alone', managed to maintain a period of almost 14 years of abstinence without AA in the last 11 odd years of that period. It was not a happy life during that period of time. And not one I would characterize as a period of 'sobriety'.
And of course I went back out again for another round after that 14 years
I've found AA, with all of it's repetition and boredom, is what I need to maintain some semblance of a sane life. These days, I prefer to let others do the experimenting for me. Good luck, let us know how it goes.
That's better.
Jme, but the majority of the folks I encounter at meetings use the "I" statement, not the "you" statement.
"I feel that AA and the 12 steps saved my life"
When I was very new to the program, I always believed they were talking about/at me, when they were in fact using the "I" statement
My best thinking has led me down some pretty twisted roads.
Yes, there are probably any number of people out there that have managed to maintain sobriety without the program of AA, but I don't personally know any of these people, and therefore can't offer any advice as to how they did it, and in any event, it wasn't my experience.
I can tell you of my experience at 'going it alone', managed to maintain a period of almost 14 years of abstinence without AA in the last 11 odd years of that period. It was not a happy life during that period of time. And not one I would characterize as a period of 'sobriety'.
And of course I went back out again for another round after that 14 years
I've found AA, with all of it's repetition and boredom, is what I need to maintain some semblance of a sane life. These days, I prefer to let others do the experimenting for me. Good luck, let us know how it goes.
And your comment about experimenting - I have seen figures that state between 40 and 70% of those who quit drinking do so on their own, and that AA's success rate is 5%. But I still respect the program and am very glad it has saved so many people I know. Why can't AAers give that same respect to others?? THAT is why people call it a cult - although I don't. Any "My way or die" opinion doesn't work for anything - everyone is different, we all have different paths.
Respectfully,
Nancy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Philly and NYC
Posts: 220
Originally Posted by nancylee
Well, I am sorry, I have a lot of flaws, but I am not dishonest, or selfish. Not at all, so the program just pisses me off. It was written 80 years ago, for middle aged men by a middle aged man, and not updated at ALL!!! Would you go to a doctor who is still treating cancer the way they did in the 1930s?? NO!!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Philly and NYC
Posts: 220
Originally Posted by nancylee
I am very happy that AA has worked for you - I know it has saved many lives. But it does NOT work for me, and a lot of other women I know. Your comments about thinking getting us into trouble is an example of the AA thinking that bothers me. My thinking has gotten me into some trouble, but it also got me a Masters Degree, it has gotten me a stable job for 16 years, a private business, a nonprofit I run, and to tell me to not think just doesn't work. And who are these people telling me to not think?? I asked my ex-sponsor, who is sober 32 years, why she still has to go to 5 meetings a week? I quit smoking 6 years ago, I don't go to online meetings, after about 3 months I didn't need to check in every day. I think she is still very sick, and has issues that she tries to fix with AA. I do NOT want what she has. Truly.
And your comment about experimenting - I have seen figures that state between 40 and 70% of those who quit drinking do so on their own, and that AA's success rate is 5%. But I still respect the program and am very glad it has saved so many people I know. Why can't AAers give that same respect to others?? THAT is why people call it a cult - although I don't. Any "My way or die" opinion doesn't work for anything - everyone is different, we all have different paths.
Respectfully,
Nancy
And your comment about experimenting - I have seen figures that state between 40 and 70% of those who quit drinking do so on their own, and that AA's success rate is 5%. But I still respect the program and am very glad it has saved so many people I know. Why can't AAers give that same respect to others?? THAT is why people call it a cult - although I don't. Any "My way or die" opinion doesn't work for anything - everyone is different, we all have different paths.
Respectfully,
Nancy
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Glad to see so many members seeking sobriety.....
and Yes! there are many ways to succeed.
Please explore this sticky post for information
find something that works for you.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html
Hope y'all find the joy of a healthy future in recovery
and Yes! there are many ways to succeed.
Please explore this sticky post for information
find something that works for you.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html
Hope y'all find the joy of a healthy future in recovery
11/11/07
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 73
AA saved my life! That being said, do I believe AA is the only way?, Nope! Feel free to choose your own misery, just kidding. Seriously if you want to try another program or do it alone, go for it. It even says in the big book of AA that you are free to choose other paths to sobriety and happiness.
Just be careful of the anti-AA posts here, many are obviously ill informed about the program and unfortunately others have had bad experiences due to a few people in AA ( hey, we're alcoholics and should be the first to admit a complete lack of perfection). No one or two people speak for AA! No one person has that ability.
Just be careful of the anti-AA posts here, many are obviously ill informed about the program and unfortunately others have had bad experiences due to a few people in AA ( hey, we're alcoholics and should be the first to admit a complete lack of perfection). No one or two people speak for AA! No one person has that ability.
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