sleepie

I was biking home last night after a 12 hour work day (two different jobs) and it was an absolutely beautiful night- perfect for biking, and I wanted SO badly to bike over to a bar, be social and have a delicious beer or three... I refrained from doing so, but tonight I'm lonely, watching a movie by myself... Not too many friends these days, most are coupled off, married or whatever... And I just wanted to drink. Instead I took 3 mg of klonopin so I'd just go to sleep instead of drinking. It is prescribed to me but I know I shouldn't do that. I'm just having a hard time right now. I think I have like 17 or 18 days alcohol free. I am on an anti depressant/ OCD med. Any kind words would be appreciated.

qs4thinking

Good job, stick with it and you can do it!!

Dee74

It's tough adjusting to sobriety but you can do it sleepie.
I'm glad you're aware of the dangers of klonopin - pls be very careful with them.

I used to be lonely too but new friends always come along, sometimes when we least expect them to

D

AADavid

Careful with the Klonopin. That is pretty addictive. And 3mg is a lot! At least to me.

AmericanGirl

Hi Sleepie! I relate to the loneliness issue . . . SR helps and so does concentrating on the few sober friendships I do have. Please do be careful with the benzos.

Also, I loved riding my bike at night home from the bars, but I haven't tried biking at night time since I've been sober . . . now you've given me a good idea! Always nice to see all the lights on inside people's homes.

CarolD

AA meetings are where I found many new sober friends
We do all sorts of things outside of meetings ...

Glad to see y'all moving forward

loveon2legs

Hi Sleepie
I've been sober 110 days, and in the first few weeks, I felt the same as you... I don't know how long you've been drinking..but for me it has been most of my life...and getting into a new lifestyle can be a very lonely and scary time for you...but trust me...it does get better as the time goes by and you involve yourself in different activities or activities you once enjoyed....be easy on yourself...and please don't expect to fit comfortably into your "new skin" right away..

sleepie

I've gotten up to three months alcohol free a few times before, and weeks here and there. I've pretty much been an every day binger for about 8 years. I'm on a diet and I've been exercising more (lost 5 lbs- yay) and I had to cut out caffeine due to other reasons- so it's really a lot to take on. So today is day 18 for me. I'm having a hard time though, I'm really down and I want a tall frosty one so badly to take all the worry and sadness away... I got slapped with an enormous phone bill yesterday that wrecked my budgeting for the next 2 months- and my unemployment runs out next week. It's just life I guess. I don't plan on drinking, it would just be very comforting right now.

loveon2legs

Hi Sleepie
One moment at a time...I'm up against a dui charge right now..lawyers,fines,court..the alcoholic side of me would love nothing more than to have a few glasses of wine to comfort me..but I know that comfort isn't lasting...being sober sure is...remember sleepie...this too shall pass...

artsoul

Hi Sleepie - the boredom seems to bring on the biggest cravings for me, too. I tend to get bored easily, even though there is a ton to do around the house and hundreds of cable channels. It's tempting to want to turn our minds off when we feel uncomfortable - it's what we've always done.

Coming here and posting helps me a great deal right now. I'm also trying to trust that if I don't take that drink for relief, I will be able to get up the next day knowing that I'm a little stronger for it. It takes time and practice to do anything, right? Can't play Beethoven's 5th the first time you sit down at the piano.......So the more we stay sober, the better we'll get at it. I hate the cravings, too. But play the whole thing out and see where it will inevitably lead you. Then refuse to do that to yourself today.

Good job on getting past it last night - you can do this!

BullDog777

hang in there sleepie. it really helped me early on to have a hobby. Something else to obsess on.

I tried alot of different stuff...
hiking, painting, drawing, exercise, video games, I wrote a book by pen, going to batting cages (a big one for me, LOL ) going to the library, i even got into car racing recently. anything you can do to occupy your mind in a healthy way.

also, as it was said before..... be really careful on the Klonopin...i developed a severe addiction and the detox was horrible.

keep us updated, and keep your chin up. Good job for not picking up a drink.

sleepie

I know- I've actually been through klonopin withdrawl before, so I am not going to make a habit of it. I just have to find a better coping mechanism when I'm sad and lonely. Thanks for all your support.

Soph

Hi Sleepie, loneliness strikes me too, since I moved to a new town a couple years ago then got divorced...and everyone else I made friends with through wine (like neighbors)...I am hoping to make friends through AA.

I have been to Blockbuster's more since I got sober than ever in my life!

You can get through it - great job that you posted! That is what we're told to do - ask for help.

Great job in your sobriety and keep it up!

Soph

porkchopped

I get where you are coming from - and when you breeze by the bars and see the socialization around alcohol, it can conjure up this "carefreeness" of which you want to be a part. In comparison, going home alone can seem very mundane. Rest assured that you are doing the right thing for you! Good for you to come onto SR for some support.

I am going to take advantage of hanging out with my virtual friends on here - you are my new comfort community. I plan on growing my own legs to walk into the party atmosphere when I am good and ready to enjoy it without being tempted to indulge.

sleepie

Thanks everyone- Soph, Netflix is my best friend right now!

Soph

I love Netflix too. But being an addict = instant gratification, I have been indulging in Blockbuster as well. Sometimes I need to see the DVD cover to remind me. Like recently I rented One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest which I had not seen in a really long time, and my son and I watched it together and it was so great. Sober living! There's a lot to do and now we have the time and energy to do it! Very grateful :-)

schem9

I feel like the One Who Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest right now

NewBeginning010

Hi sleepie,

It sure can be tough not to want to dull things out with a drink sometimes, its what we have been used to doing for a long time.

A lot of my friends are also now married or still partying too much. I have met some new friends in the rooms of AA. I have also been exercising more (including mountain biking).

I am not sure what your passions or interests are but now is a great time to try new things. I have been getting back into tennis & roller blading, my golf game is next.

Keep at it, you are on the right track. It will start to come together for you.

Google "ninja video" for all of the current movies & tv shows (free). I still pay for & go to the theaters for the movies that I really like but when I need some filler to get away & escape for a while thats where I go.

You can do this,

Take Care,

NB

sayonara

I once made the mistake of biking to a bar and being social and having a beer or three. I ended up with a broken collarbone on the ride home. Pain and no work for 6 weeks. Trust me, you made the right choice, even if it is a crappy movie you're watching !!!
Pat yourself on the back, bud.

sleepie

Thank you all... I slipped big time last night, embarassed myself... Ugh. I was doing alright, I have an interview tomorrow I'm SO nervous about... It's fantastic I have the interview and I really really want the job but I'm not quite qualified and my nerves got the best of me. I would not have made it as far as I did without your support and I am back on the wagon again. Thank you all.