Thought I could do it
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Like Carol said...many of us had false starts - took me years.
Look at what happened by all means and see where you fouled up, see what else perhaps you need to do - but then look forward, and move on HVACRGirl.
Today's what matters.
Glad you're back
D
Look at what happened by all means and see where you fouled up, see what else perhaps you need to do - but then look forward, and move on HVACRGirl.
Today's what matters.
Glad you're back
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Rest assured, you're not the only one who has tried again and failed. Can you identify what the initial trigger was? For me, picking up the first drink always started with me dwelling on the idea that maybe this time it might actually be different or better than the last time somehow. Now I know it can never be anything but worse.
Hang in there - you're worth it and you deserve sobriety! Another couple days and you'll be feeling good again. Wishing you the best.......
Hang in there - you're worth it and you deserve sobriety! Another couple days and you'll be feeling good again. Wishing you the best.......
Sunny Side Up
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sth Australia
Posts: 3,802
Originally Posted by HVACRGirl 
I thought I was commited enough to stay sober...
here I am, after a five day bender...
here I am, after a five day bender...
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
It's in the past. It's time to be optimistic about the future again.
Knowledge, commitment, all the desire in the world..... none of it is enough to keep an alcoholic sober for long. They help, for sure. What works is changing up your game this go-around. What are you willing to do that you didn't do this past time. If what you did before didn't "work" then it's time to toss something new into the mix.
The only thing I've found that made a noticeable dent in my old compulsions to drink was a connection to God of my understanding. Since I didn't know how to go about getting that, I worked the 12 Steps of AA like a mad man. I had gotten to the point that if I got hammered ONE more time there was a decent chance I'd blow my brains out once I came-to the next morning. I was afraid of what I might do if I let myself down one more time.
Knowledge, commitment, all the desire in the world..... none of it is enough to keep an alcoholic sober for long. They help, for sure. What works is changing up your game this go-around. What are you willing to do that you didn't do this past time. If what you did before didn't "work" then it's time to toss something new into the mix.
The only thing I've found that made a noticeable dent in my old compulsions to drink was a connection to God of my understanding. Since I didn't know how to go about getting that, I worked the 12 Steps of AA like a mad man. I had gotten to the point that if I got hammered ONE more time there was a decent chance I'd blow my brains out once I came-to the next morning. I was afraid of what I might do if I let myself down one more time.
No pity. No remorse. No fear
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 183
HVACRGirl I really identify with that! All I can say is, don't be like me and have about 5 years worth of "last times"; take it from me, they only get more painful and deeper; it's scary how quickly I got back to where I used be drinking, then I'd push a little more. Like I said, it got worse each time and harder each time. Learn from my example (and many others here too), I guess you could call me an "old-newbie". Don't be like that, save yourself the pain, suffering and constant anxiety.
But put this behind you and look forward to a new day.
You are not alone!
But put this behind you and look forward to a new day.
You are not alone!
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