xoffender

Hi Guys,

I have a few questions on AA that I'd like your thoughts on if you have a few moments.

I'm just new into AA and it's doing wonders for me, I've no sponser yet and haven't started the steps.

I've read through them and I'm a little sticky on Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

My problem is that I'm very ashamed of some of the stuff I did when I drank and I'm very uncomfortable with telling anyone the whole story.

I'm sure I can't be the only person to feel this way - does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on this, either how they did handle it or intend to.

Also, is there a consensus on how long after you start the AA that you should begin doing the steps ?

Many thanks,

Andy

Mark75

Well, you haven't started AA until you start the steps. Do you have a Big Book?

Mark

xoffender

Yes, I got a copy at my last meeting.

Mark75

Great! It is all in there.

I wouldn't think to much about step 5 yet. That comes after step 4, I know, duh... But once you've worked this step, hopefully with a sponsor, your fear of 5 will lessen considerably, at least mine did.

It is an awesome life changing journey!

yeahgr8

I got a sponsor and started on the steps as soon as i walked through the door...its all in the BB that the steps should be worked asap, nothing about a set number of meetings to attend or waiting...

Step 4 and then step 5 hey? Yep i had that in my mind, i was full of guilt and disgust for all the things i had done and was convinced that if anyone deserved to die it was me...

Turns out im not such a bad guy after all...trust me and others you will feel the same way...

As Mark says try and put step 5 to the back of your mind for now and grab a sponsor who is willing to take you through the steps as quickly as possible and to the best of your ability and who has themselves had a spiritual awakening...

Just reminded me i did my sponsor's head in for a while projecting on how all the steps would turn out, playing each one in my head to determine possible outsomes before even starting on step 4...just dive in there and don't listen to yourself at the moment, remember the thought process that is telling you that step 5 sounds like a problem is the same one that kept you going to the bar or the liquor store for all those years...trust someone elses thought process for now, your sponsors:-)

Tommyh

Andy,I was very much ashamed also.I could never see myself telling another man the things I had done.I had such a fear of rejection,of being laughed off the planet ,so I froze up.
I did go on with the steps and when I got done with step 4,I knew I would drink again if I did not do something..so I thought I would "try" a little of step 5.
I was scared of my sponsor so I went to see Father Vinnie

I got to talking and somehow at the end I asked him one question.
I asked him,do you know whats really bugging me?
He said no.Having finally found a little relief,I went on and told him and then it happened.I had a spiritual experience as described by the big book and a little more.I knew from that moment on I would never have to drink again.I was finally set free.

you might want to set step 5 aside for the time being and work on the first 4 unless you think you may drink again if you do not have a little talk with someone.I have seen that happen in AA.Guys who have something bothering them so much they have to get it off their chest or else..

your choice

24hrsAday

i just Recently Did Another 5th Step With My New Sponsor.. The Process of Recovery is Sometimes Like Peeling The Layers of an Onion (it Takes Time) as Long as You Are Being Honest You Will Make Progress.. Good Luck Andy! And Welcome to SRC..

redroad

Step 5 - Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Confession time , when the times comes in your thinking and heart to make this step, your stepping into the Truth & Honesty things of your life. Its hard at first, become a persons trust level might be on almost empty . But don't be afraid. Or you'll get this:

LetsGoJets

if you havent started to go through the Big Book with someone yet, then you arent at step 5. The steps on the shades in meetings are just sentences. The actual directions on how to do the 12 steps are in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. When i first came into AA a few years back, I made the mistake of reading the steps off of the shades and then doing them how i thought they should be done. Needless to say, i relapsed. I have done 2 fifth steps in the last 15 months after being taken through the Big Book and the only thing I find is that I feel more free every time I do it.

IN addition, in order to do a 5th step you will need to have a 4th step written with your resentments, fears and sex conducts, which a good sponsor will instruct you how to do that.

Since you arent at neither 4 nor 5, dont worry about them. Go through the first few chapters and try to realize all of the great info on step 1, and the 3-part illness which we suffer from. If you are a real alcoholic i think its really important that you have an understanding of the insidious insanity we suffer from and no matter how hard we try by "will power" we always go back to the drink.

Ceres

I couldn't have fathomed doing step 5 when I first came in. There's a reason it's #5 and not #1. By the time you get to step five:

- You'll have built some trust with your sponsor
- You'll have a stronger sense of your HP
- You'll already be changing - shedding the old you like snakeskin
- You'll find a part of you wanting to shed all that garbage.

I was of the variety that had that one thing I was sure I'd take to the grave that the BB talks about. It didn't quite fit into Step 4. So, it had to come out in Step 5. They left no way out! ;-)

It was a wonderous thing to have done.

Charmie

as my sponsor would have said to me...............its none of your business until you are there! the steps are in order for a reason.
if you do this deal with open-mindedness,willingness and honesty you will be fine.
find a sponsor first!
the big myth about the 5th step is that it is some big confessional about all the real nasty stuff you did,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,sure you talk about it,but step 5 is about finding out THE EXACT NATURE Of OUR WRONGS.(our character defects which you will learn about in step 4)
a good sponsor wont bat an eyelid at the things you have done.
mine didnt and the only thing that wasnt there was murder.
but,1st things first!
you need a sponsor first!
by the time i got to step 5 i could not wait to get rid of all the stuff that was buzzing round in my head and taking me to some very dark places.
the steps are a process and by the time you get to 5 if you do the rest to the best of your ability you will be ready.
welcome to sr.
ps,im just up the road from you nr elgin!
been to couple of meetings in aberdeen and they are very good.
there is one on a saturday lunchtime at st.peters church,casltegate.i know a couple of real good guys that go to that one!

CarolD

About sponsorship.......

Alcoholics Anonymous : Questions & Answers on Sponsorship

That's the official AA guideline

Glad to know you are heading into the Steps....
The quicker the better IMO

LetsGoJets

One thing i forgot to add in my post is that in the Big Book there are 7 forebodings that we will drink again if:__________. One of those is if we dont do a 5th step.

xoffender

Thanks so much for the great advice guys, it's much appreciated