littlechicklet

My bottom should have been a lot of things (blackouts, fighting with my spouse, my mother dying at 46 from alcoholism, etc) - but what the final straw was that I went to school hungover again and could barely function in my math class. I realized that if I didn't stop drinking I'd never accomplish anything in my life and probably end up dead.

Gypsy Feet

my bottom was a single shameful night I don't remember, but people I love dearly do. When I woke up and heard the story, I was so ashamed it hurt to breath, and my despair was complete. I "punished" myself by quitting drinking that day, because to kill myself would have only further hurt those I love.

I never imagined I could forgive myself for that night and it took a long time, but I have.

I never would have believed that good things could have come from that horrific night, but they have.

When I quit drinking, I wanted only to make myself miserable. Instead, my life has been transformed. I stumbled upon this site, and the recovery community while living in a dark hole. Now I walk in the sunlight of the spirit.

I believe we need to work through our shame with someone who understands, be it a therapist or a sponsor in AA. Until we make peace with our past, and accept the way things are we can never be free.

Ronan

I found a picture of me on my laptop at one of my lowest points:




The sad thing is I didn't even view it as a 'bottom'. God knows how long I had been drunk for when I took that pic, I'm guessing over a week..

least

My bottom was losing the respect of my kids and my self respect. I hated myself so much I wanted to die. That was 'bottom' enough for me.

I agree completely.

AWOL

Apart from my never-ending litany of failed resolutions, and mind-numbing hangovers, my bottom was realizing I was losing a lifelong battle between the spiritual me and the demonic me, and that I was utterly alone. That shame, and the shame of losing my family pulled me off my drunken couch and made me pour all the alcohol in my house down the sink. My life as an alcoholic has been a life-long arm-wrestling competition between wanting to live a life of integrity and courage and succumbing to the demon drink. Thanks significantly to the support of my friends on SR, I have replaced this life in Dante’s Inferno with a day in paradise.

Mark75

Good question... My bottom came after rehab. I went into treatment as the result of an intervention of sorts. It was not until then that I saw how low I had come... How much trouble I had caused for myself and others. I remember shortly after, sober but not recovered, almost getting killed on a wet highway... and I didn't care, I was unfazed.

That was my bottom.

stugotz

I could have gone much deeper. Thats what really SCARES me.

artsoul

I like AWOL's phrase "a life-long arm-wrestling competition" - I've had bottoms before, gotten sober, gone back again just to see if I could do it differently this time. I've come to the end of my ideas and excuses and discovered I AM no different than any of my friends here. And like stugot, it's scary to think about how much deeper I could go, and will go, if I entertain even the possibility of continuing.