I want to stop but I can't
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 39
I want to stop but I can't
Hello,
I have just joined. I have been afraid to join because I am afraid of what others might think of me. I am in a professional industry and cant afford "bad press". I want to stop drinking but am struggling to do so. I am drinking anywhere from a few drinks to 3 bottles of wine a night, and need to stop.
Very depressed because I lack the willpower. My wife doesnt know how much I am drinking becuase I am great at hiding it. I am exhausted, and just cant seem to get over the hump.
Not trying to get advice I guess, but wanted to join the group. I am truly lost and dont know how to stop giving in to the temptation to drink.
Sorry for rambling, I will leave now.
Hopeful,
nhbs
I have just joined. I have been afraid to join because I am afraid of what others might think of me. I am in a professional industry and cant afford "bad press". I want to stop drinking but am struggling to do so. I am drinking anywhere from a few drinks to 3 bottles of wine a night, and need to stop.
Very depressed because I lack the willpower. My wife doesnt know how much I am drinking becuase I am great at hiding it. I am exhausted, and just cant seem to get over the hump.
Not trying to get advice I guess, but wanted to join the group. I am truly lost and dont know how to stop giving in to the temptation to drink.
Sorry for rambling, I will leave now.
Hopeful,
nhbs
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Welcome, stuk!
Have you ever tried to get sober before? If not, you might want to read the stickies at the top of the forums, lots of good information there.
I needed a plan to stop drinking. You may want to discuss this with your doctor for the detox part. Please don't try to detox alone as it can be dangerous.
AA is a good program but if it's not for you, there's others. I learned a lot in AA, to me, the 12 Steps are like a business plan for living sober. You could check out a meeting or two in your area.
I like Rational Recovery. It works well for me.
Keep posting and reading!
Love,
Lenina
Have you ever tried to get sober before? If not, you might want to read the stickies at the top of the forums, lots of good information there.
I needed a plan to stop drinking. You may want to discuss this with your doctor for the detox part. Please don't try to detox alone as it can be dangerous.
AA is a good program but if it's not for you, there's others. I learned a lot in AA, to me, the 12 Steps are like a business plan for living sober. You could check out a meeting or two in your area.
I like Rational Recovery. It works well for me.
Keep posting and reading!
Love,
Lenina
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: rochester ny
Posts: 164
Ok the big "welcome!!!" smiley isnt working.
So WELCOME!!!!
I'm not in a professional field myself, but I remember walking into an AA meeting once and running right into people I never thought I would, professionals i've known in my life. Alcoholism doesnt discriminate!
The good news is, its also nothing to be ashamed of. Your a sick person, not a bad person.
Of course you can't stop. Not by yourself that is. Coming here was a good idea, and I hope that you find some flesh and blood recovery as well, whether it be from AA or another program. You don't ever have to drink again, and your life can become more wonderful than you'd ever imagined.
I was a homeless alcoholic and junkie myself. I love my life today.
Again, welcome..
So WELCOME!!!!
I'm not in a professional field myself, but I remember walking into an AA meeting once and running right into people I never thought I would, professionals i've known in my life. Alcoholism doesnt discriminate!
The good news is, its also nothing to be ashamed of. Your a sick person, not a bad person.
Of course you can't stop. Not by yourself that is. Coming here was a good idea, and I hope that you find some flesh and blood recovery as well, whether it be from AA or another program. You don't ever have to drink again, and your life can become more wonderful than you'd ever imagined.
I was a homeless alcoholic and junkie myself. I love my life today.
Again, welcome..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 39
thanks lenina.
From what I hear AA is a spiritually based program, and I am not the strongest in that area...is there any alternatives?
I have tried getting sober..usually last a few days, then I get sucked back in. This is what I am trying to overcome. Having problems being honest with friends and family due to humiliation...
From what I hear AA is a spiritually based program, and I am not the strongest in that area...is there any alternatives?
I have tried getting sober..usually last a few days, then I get sucked back in. This is what I am trying to overcome. Having problems being honest with friends and family due to humiliation...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi again nhbs
here's some links to some of the most popular recovery programmes..
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html
D
here's some links to some of the most popular recovery programmes..
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 39
thanks ninja7 but i am afraid of the consequences of being recognized. I am in sales and feel like I have no chance to earn the business if i am seen as a person with a problem.
Dee74-thanks again, I hope to be sober someday. Right now I am on a 4 days off, 3 days heavy drinking cycle. Fri, Sat, and Sun I am hitting it heavily.
Need to stop, I am paranoid and anxious.
Dee74-thanks again, I hope to be sober someday. Right now I am on a 4 days off, 3 days heavy drinking cycle. Fri, Sat, and Sun I am hitting it heavily.
Need to stop, I am paranoid and anxious.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Heywood,Gtr.Manchester
Posts: 242
"Maybe it's not your time"
I was an alcoholic for 30 yrs, some may say I treated AA like a revolving door, a few years ago I attended a meeting, there was a guy there who'd been sober a long time, after someone had shared I turned to him and said,'"You know, I just don't get any of this,".
He replied," Maybe it isn't your time."
I remember being a little bit stunned by this but one way or another drunk or sober I continued to plug away seeking a better understanding and my own spirituality.
On the15th of Feb.,2008 I hit my,'rock bottom' able only to crawl to my bed, crying out for some release from my illness, alone and unaided over thenext few days my alcoholism wastaken from me.
I'm not suggesting you should suffer like I did but I am suggesting you keep working towards your sobriety, maybe it's just not your time yet. Mike W.
He replied," Maybe it isn't your time."
I remember being a little bit stunned by this but one way or another drunk or sober I continued to plug away seeking a better understanding and my own spirituality.
On the15th of Feb.,2008 I hit my,'rock bottom' able only to crawl to my bed, crying out for some release from my illness, alone and unaided over thenext few days my alcoholism wastaken from me.
I'm not suggesting you should suffer like I did but I am suggesting you keep working towards your sobriety, maybe it's just not your time yet. Mike W.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: rochester ny
Posts: 164
i guarantee you that you wouldnt be the 1st guy in sales to go into a recovery meeting...
I've found that the real live connections i've made in my program of choice were the only thing that kept me sober at first...it sounds like you may be a true alky. if thats the case, without help, it may be a matter of months or years, or decades....but you will die or at best waste your life drinking it away.
I mean hey, its up to you but I really think your making too big a thing about asking for help. Nobody's watching with binoculors from across the street waiting to expose your identity to the world
Fear kept me away from help for quite some time. I'm lucky I lived.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading your journal!
I'd wish you good luck, but luck has zero to do with this thing..
I've found that the real live connections i've made in my program of choice were the only thing that kept me sober at first...it sounds like you may be a true alky. if thats the case, without help, it may be a matter of months or years, or decades....but you will die or at best waste your life drinking it away.
I mean hey, its up to you but I really think your making too big a thing about asking for help. Nobody's watching with binoculors from across the street waiting to expose your identity to the world
Fear kept me away from help for quite some time. I'm lucky I lived.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading your journal!
I'd wish you good luck, but luck has zero to do with this thing..
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Hi Stuk and welcome to SR!
I am only echoingwhat was said earlier -
and it's not that you can't stop
it's that you've learned you aren't going to be able to stop
alone.
Now... youre' NOT alone -
you've got us.
Everyone i've ever met
came to that realization
and said exactly what you said
about NEVER EVER going to AA.
Tell you what -
try sticking around here for a while...
rtead the stickies on the top of the forum here,
maybe go over to the 12 step forum and read those stickies....
You've made the first step -
you're coming here.
It's not for me to say whether that's all you need,
or even WHAT you might need
other than help to stop drinking.
Welcome to SR.
And be informed that
not a single person posting on this site
got here
because they could handle their drinking.
If anything in my experience can offer you hope
and help you gather the courage to do what you need to do
in order to stop
in a permanent way
my hand is out.
I am only echoingwhat was said earlier -
and it's not that you can't stop
it's that you've learned you aren't going to be able to stop
alone.
Now... youre' NOT alone -
you've got us.
Everyone i've ever met
came to that realization
and said exactly what you said
about NEVER EVER going to AA.
Tell you what -
try sticking around here for a while...
rtead the stickies on the top of the forum here,
maybe go over to the 12 step forum and read those stickies....
You've made the first step -
you're coming here.
It's not for me to say whether that's all you need,
or even WHAT you might need
other than help to stop drinking.
Welcome to SR.
And be informed that
not a single person posting on this site
got here
because they could handle their drinking.
If anything in my experience can offer you hope
and help you gather the courage to do what you need to do
in order to stop
in a permanent way
my hand is out.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
stuk,
I was a little put off by what I considered to be religious stuff in AA at first. I learned over time that there's a big difference between being spiritual and being religious. Many people in AA aren't religious. Some are.
I needed to change a lot of my personal philosophies to enjoy sobriety. It took me a good while to understand and embrace the concept of a "power greater than myself" as I just didn't get it.
Stick around SR, there's quite a few difference view points. Be honest with yourself and stay open-minded. There's so many great and very wise folks here!
Love,
Lenina
I was a little put off by what I considered to be religious stuff in AA at first. I learned over time that there's a big difference between being spiritual and being religious. Many people in AA aren't religious. Some are.
I needed to change a lot of my personal philosophies to enjoy sobriety. It took me a good while to understand and embrace the concept of a "power greater than myself" as I just didn't get it.
Stick around SR, there's quite a few difference view points. Be honest with yourself and stay open-minded. There's so many great and very wise folks here!
Love,
Lenina
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum....
Not all of our members who are successfully sober
use a specific program. Keep posting....you
will get all sorts of information and support here.
However.....de toxing is a medical issue. Check with a
doctor about how to safely get sober. Pay cash if
you don't want the visit on your insurance....
Not all of our members who are successfully sober
use a specific program. Keep posting....you
will get all sorts of information and support here.
However.....de toxing is a medical issue. Check with a
doctor about how to safely get sober. Pay cash if
you don't want the visit on your insurance....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 39
Well, I suck.
Couldnt even get past the first day. I was doing well, riding home from work, wasnt going to stop at the liquor store. The good news is I didn't. However, I had beer and wine in the fridge and after another long day and my frustrating job, I gave in and drank it. The good news is I have nothing left in the house and I am not going to the liquor store. Tomorrow will have to be my start. I actually am not concerned about not drinking tomorrow because I am exhausted, so I will probably go to bed early for a change. It is the next few days I am worried about. Typically thusdays and fridays are long, hard drinking nights. I dont know if I will know what to do. i guess I will just start with tomorrow.
Couldnt even get past the first day. I was doing well, riding home from work, wasnt going to stop at the liquor store. The good news is I didn't. However, I had beer and wine in the fridge and after another long day and my frustrating job, I gave in and drank it. The good news is I have nothing left in the house and I am not going to the liquor store. Tomorrow will have to be my start. I actually am not concerned about not drinking tomorrow because I am exhausted, so I will probably go to bed early for a change. It is the next few days I am worried about. Typically thusdays and fridays are long, hard drinking nights. I dont know if I will know what to do. i guess I will just start with tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Im in a professional industry too and i wouldn't get entrusted with millions of dollars worth of budget if i went around screaming i am a drunk...i used to use that as an excuse too:-)
You could save yourself a load more pain and go to AA, i didn't...here is what i tried, maybe one will stick for you:
Behavioural Counselling
Addiction Counselling
Resonance Treatment
Hypnosis
Hypnotherapy
Martial arts
Religion
Antabuse
Anti-depressants
Social Anxiety Group Therapy(don't ask, counselor's recomendation, like putting square peg in round hole!)
Rehab
I ran out of things to try and in the end wasn't able to even stop for another one of my couple of month dry spells...to be honest i couldn't even string together 2 days! Only then did i go to AA and ask someone with 22 years of sobriety to help me do the same.
Good luck, worth staying around here though as something might inspire you:-)
You could save yourself a load more pain and go to AA, i didn't...here is what i tried, maybe one will stick for you:
Behavioural Counselling
Addiction Counselling
Resonance Treatment
Hypnosis
Hypnotherapy
Martial arts
Religion
Antabuse
Anti-depressants
Social Anxiety Group Therapy(don't ask, counselor's recomendation, like putting square peg in round hole!)
Rehab
I ran out of things to try and in the end wasn't able to even stop for another one of my couple of month dry spells...to be honest i couldn't even string together 2 days! Only then did i go to AA and ask someone with 22 years of sobriety to help me do the same.
Good luck, worth staying around here though as something might inspire you:-)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 39
yeahgr8,
I can relate to your signature line. one of my not so great moments was drinking a ton, and gambling. Still have a gambling problem, but thank god I cant get money to online sports books anymore, and I cant afford to go to vegas, so I have almost been cured by lack of resoures on the gambling thing...and guess what, my gambling was intesified heavily due to drinking.
I can relate to your signature line. one of my not so great moments was drinking a ton, and gambling. Still have a gambling problem, but thank god I cant get money to online sports books anymore, and I cant afford to go to vegas, so I have almost been cured by lack of resoures on the gambling thing...and guess what, my gambling was intesified heavily due to drinking.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Originally Posted by needhelpbutstuk 
yeahgr8,
I can relate to your signature line. one of my not so great moments was drinking a ton, and gambling. Still have a gambling problem, but thank god I cant get money to online sports books anymore, and I cant afford to go to vegas, so I have almost been cured by lack of resoures on the gambling thing...and guess what, my gambling was intesified heavily due to drinking.
I can relate to your signature line. one of my not so great moments was drinking a ton, and gambling. Still have a gambling problem, but thank god I cant get money to online sports books anymore, and I cant afford to go to vegas, so I have almost been cured by lack of resoures on the gambling thing...and guess what, my gambling was intesified heavily due to drinking.
A friend of mine from AA started GA meetings in Gibraltar, they were quite cool...i got sober, which for me covers both, in AA.
I did a 5 month dry spell in October 2008, wow did my gambling increase or what...talk about substituting one addiction for another! And yeah whenever i was in 'famine' mode my gambling was fine but as soon as i made some money 'viva las vegas'! hehe
Gambling is the same as drinking which is the same as drugs, its all about escapism and what i needed was to get a drastic peronality change in order to not feel the need to escape from me anymore, another term for it is spiritual awakening...now i was the farthest away from spiritual as you can be but it does work and it will make sense to you too! That doesnt mean you turn into a lentil eating hippie btw;-)
I had to accept that i didn't know what was good for me and drinking and gambling caused me so much pain that last year i was willing to say ok i dont trust my thinking anymore and im cant live like this anymore, there must be someone out there who can show me how to stay sober...went to AA, didn't want to, and saw this little guy at the table, he sounded like he knew what he was talking about, others at the table seemed to be quite respectful of him so after meeting i asked him for help...well what i said was something like 'look mate youre an alcoholic yeah, i need your help, i dont understand this stuff and i need someones help'...ahhhh...and i got it!
What a journey its been and continues to be, no cravings, can go where i want and do what i want...it's a new life...i am not the same guy that walked into the rooms of AA last year, if i was id be drunk and at the casino tonight...
You can do this too, its crazy looking back all you have to do is go to acouple of meetings a week, make a new friend as a sponsor, do some work that they suggest and then you get whatyou've always really wanted...gotta laugh...i just refused to go to AA before, i would even say im not going to AA what am i some sort of bitch? Crazy!
Anyways hope you go down and realise that you have a great track record and years of proof already that you don't know what is good for you and at the moment you are trusting your happiness and future with a gibbering idiot...man i wouldn't trust the guy i was to go and get me a loaf of bread...but i was sick and didn't know any better...
Long post, hope you get something out of it?!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 39
thanks yeahgr8...i got something out of it...I love gambling...fueled by the competitor in me, played sports at a high level...I'm sure we could swap stories. At any rate, I am going to try to start sobriety tomorrow. AS I have said before, I am still a bit afraid of AA, so I am holding back from going...can you tell me what your first experience was like?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 39
Originally Posted by Dee74
many many of us couldn't get past the first day, stuk.
try again tomorrow
D
try again tomorrow
D
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