Triumphs, Trials and Tribulations
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
Triumphs, Trials and Tribulations
H.A.L.T, I really do need to remind myself of this phrase. It might have helped me yesterday. I am nonetheless proud of myself for not going further.
I got home and had the usual cravings that seem to always be there. I got something to eat and decided to cut the grass to get my mind off it. When I got back in I sat downstairs while my wife was upstairs rearranging her clothes. Something came over me and without to really think twice I drove to the nearest bar, which is a bowling alley and drank one beer.
That first sip, I was thinking how good it would be. It was bitter, almost without the flavor I remember. As it went down it got a little better but I didn't enjoy it like I thought I would. I finished up and went to the car and sat for about a half hour acquiring the small buzz one 12 ounce beer had given me and thought about driving for a six pack.
Just when I thought I would start the car towards a packaged goods store something wonderful happened. I felt a happy thought about going home to my sunroom, grabbing a bottle of seltzer and flipping the little tv on I have down there. I did just that and have not drank another since.
I hope that my story will serve as a reminder of the strength we all can have when we seem to be at our weakest. I feel stronger in my resolve now that I broke down for that beer but didn't let it get away from me. I am back on track and plan to keep trying to abstain.
I got home and had the usual cravings that seem to always be there. I got something to eat and decided to cut the grass to get my mind off it. When I got back in I sat downstairs while my wife was upstairs rearranging her clothes. Something came over me and without to really think twice I drove to the nearest bar, which is a bowling alley and drank one beer.
That first sip, I was thinking how good it would be. It was bitter, almost without the flavor I remember. As it went down it got a little better but I didn't enjoy it like I thought I would. I finished up and went to the car and sat for about a half hour acquiring the small buzz one 12 ounce beer had given me and thought about driving for a six pack.
Just when I thought I would start the car towards a packaged goods store something wonderful happened. I felt a happy thought about going home to my sunroom, grabbing a bottle of seltzer and flipping the little tv on I have down there. I did just that and have not drank another since.
I hope that my story will serve as a reminder of the strength we all can have when we seem to be at our weakest. I feel stronger in my resolve now that I broke down for that beer but didn't let it get away from me. I am back on track and plan to keep trying to abstain.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
For me, I will never have a Day 1 again unless of course I start drinking everyday.
I have read several here write that they are not drinking for today. To play my habit like a game where I need to consider every small infraction an error and to go back to zero would take away from the real goal. The goal obviously being to avoid excessive behavior.
In light of this, I truly believe the day that I chose to quit will always be December 17th, 2009. It was the moment I told myself would come someday for ten years. The day I knew my body could no longer handle the daily abuse of 12 or more beers. The day I chose to make a change and for the most part have stuck with it. The day I chose to change my daily habit and replace it with healthy ones.
The last beer signaled a positive change in how I feel because while I do still get cravings sometimes, I noticed an absence in the physical dependency that used to fuel my drinking. The beer felt like an empty shell instead of the daily catalyst to become intoxicated. Had I continued to drink that night I certainly would have refueled my physical dependency.
It is this personal observation that has given me pride in how far I have come and it is ultimately what will keep me from ever going back.
In
I have read several here write that they are not drinking for today. To play my habit like a game where I need to consider every small infraction an error and to go back to zero would take away from the real goal. The goal obviously being to avoid excessive behavior.
In light of this, I truly believe the day that I chose to quit will always be December 17th, 2009. It was the moment I told myself would come someday for ten years. The day I knew my body could no longer handle the daily abuse of 12 or more beers. The day I chose to make a change and for the most part have stuck with it. The day I chose to change my daily habit and replace it with healthy ones.
The last beer signaled a positive change in how I feel because while I do still get cravings sometimes, I noticed an absence in the physical dependency that used to fuel my drinking. The beer felt like an empty shell instead of the daily catalyst to become intoxicated. Had I continued to drink that night I certainly would have refueled my physical dependency.
It is this personal observation that has given me pride in how far I have come and it is ultimately what will keep me from ever going back.
In
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