loveon2legs

Good morning everyone,
84 days sober!! There was a fundraiser last night at a local pub, and I decided not to go...I don't think seeing others drinking would have really bothered me, I think I didn't go because places like pubs are part of my past....and I don't want to spend even a minute in them???(athough most of my drinking was alone at home) .. I was feeling kinda sad this weekend too the weather was so nice here, and the alcoholic brain missed having that beer/wine in hand...it felt like something was missing....with all my heart I don't want to drink anymore..these feelings though really push the envelope!!

Do any of you guys go to pubs?? or do you avoid them like the plague?? how about that missing feeling...like you've lost your best friend?? ( and worst enemy)

Thanks for your time

DayWalker

I don't go to bars now. Like you, I was an Alone at home type of drinker, but for me and the way I see things bars/pubs are simply a place to drink so I have no business being in one anymore. I'm 100% sure I could go to one and not drink, but I just don't have a reason to go to one now.

Far as the missing it feelings. I did have that feeling for the first month of getting sober, but now I don't miss it much at all. My life was such a mess because of it that it's hard for me to miss it now that my life is so much better.

Congrats on the 84 days.

Steve

Almath

Hey there loveon2legs,

First of all a big CONGRATS on the 84 days sober!! That's quite an achievement! I'm on day 71 today - just over 10 weeks and I understand where you're coming from. I've also avoided a fundraiser in a pub with friends (heavy drinkers!) as I just don't feel the attraction to go to the pub for the moment..

I was at the coast for a little Spa getaway with my husband at the weekend and we went to our favourite restaurant which was difficult for me as I loved to have my champagne apero, my bottle of pinot noir, my amaretto(s), etc.. This time the focus was on the food, which was delicious!, the company and watching the beautiful sunset! But if I'm being honest with myself I did feel as though something was missing..and indeed it's like saying goodbye to an old friend... We went back to the hotel afterwards instead of to the usual Irish bar.. but I wasn't in the mood for going there anyway.

I also miss the glass of wine in the hand in the evening and am trying to replace it with a nice diet coke or a herbal tea, etc. I'm back at the gym too so have less time to think about it in the evenings and it's really helping me!

A friend (heavy drinker) has asked us out for dinner/drinks on the 1/5 and it will be my first night out with her since going sober. At least I'll not be the only one there not drinking so I'll have support. The great thing is knowing that I'll not have a hangover the next morning, I'll remember the conversations we had and see things from another perspective and not wake up with feelings of guilt and shame!

Anyway, I just wanted to share this with you and to let you know that I understand how you're feeling and know it's not easy for you.

Big Hugs,

Almath

yeahgr8

I was advised to stay away from people, places and things...i was very serious about getting sober and treated it as such...at the end of the day if you are used to going into a wet place and being unable to say no and then drink without any control then stay out of wet places...if sobriety is a nice to have then putting yourself in temptations way may lead to drinking and it may not...

Willing to go to any lengths and all that:-)

redroad

Truth an Honesty............

rws177

I just try not and do anything that will threaten my sobriety. When I do go to a bar or an even't where drinking around I genneraly don't stay more than one hour.

AmandaPanda

i avoid them like the plague. My mouth is watering just thinking about being somewhere with all that alcohol. Don't think I could control myself. I just try not to think about it.

Boleo

I now view pubs and other establishments that serve alcohol as if they were the base of a cliff where there is a "Danger - Falling Rocks" sign. I will go into such places if I have a good reason to be there, but - I don't hang around to see what will happen if I don't get back behind the danger zone.

For the first few months I did feel like I was suffering from bereavement but it eventually turned into a feeling of freedom and gratitude.

StewartUK

Im struggling with this at the moment, the great weather is a real tease at this time! Pubs arent somewhere i enjoy going sober really, i find myself staring at the beer taps. Im also sure i can go and be sober but i think it would also just put stress upon me, i really dont enjoy going out with people when everyones drunk and im sober which makes me worry about the future of my social life. What gets me through things just now is everytime i used to sit and agonise over whether to go out and drink or not, if i did go out and drink i would always wake up and think "that wasnt worth it" and if i didnnt id wake up and think "ah thank god i didnt bother"

CarolD

Well done on your 84 days....

Pubs and bars are established for 1 reason...to sell alcohol.
I'm a non drinker who will not be buying the product.

I no longer drive...I don't go to a car show room either.


For our newly sober friends...why not make a list of
all the problems that alcohol caused in your life?
Read it over when you get into the "Just One"
thinking.
Yes! if you don't have the first
you will continue to win over toxic alcohol.

For about a year...I had a record of my horrific
de tox experience with me at all times.
That kept me in perspective.....

Dee74

I'm a musician - I've retired now diue to other health reasons, but yeah - I have had legit reasons to be in a bar since I've been sober...but I waited until I was at a point in my recovery where I could deal with it.

For me that was over a year...as it happened I wasn't tempted and I didn't find I was uncomfortable the few times I did it....but I knew it was not 'my place' anymore.

Like others have said the business of bars is to sell alcohol and I have no interest in that.

D

doda

I haven't avoided bars if there's a purpose to go as a fundraiser. I believe that not depriving myself of social events makes my sobriety stronger. But at 109 days, I have to say that I don't miss or want alcohol or envy those who drink. I remember what a drunk I was and just looking at a cocktail makes me nauseous.

parasol

I have no interest anymore in going to a typical sports bar or a pub, but I still enjoy going to lounge bars or wine bars where you can get small plates of food and coffee drinks & whatnot. My wife will have a glass of wine and I'll get a cappuccino. We also usually bring a little notebook for writing down our plans for the next days and weeks, etc. It's nice to actually have a purpose for hanging out rather than just drinking!

loveon2legs

Thank-you so much for the support everyone I'm sure as the days go by there will be challenges,but nothing worthwhile goes without a fight!! and I'm another day sober!!

Have a great day everyone

Ronan

During previous attempts to quit I've gone into bars/clubs and not drank. It's all good for the first maybe hour or two, but then as people get drunker it's hard to get onto the same vibe...and they talk such dribble. Such unfunny nonsense.

I know I'll have to face certain situations that involve alcohol in the future but I believe the best thing to do is have an escape plan. Have a reason to leave after that point where you might feel pressure being put on you to submit to temptation. If people don't like it then **** 'em. You'll see them at breakfast with a big smile on your face :P