sunrise1

*sigh*

I drank last night and tonight. Not heavily. But I know I shouldn't at all; I've seen what happens to me, and read here and I know it's just one downhill slippery slope.

My marriage is in trouble. I stood up to him the other day because it needed to be done but now everything's a mess and I just want him back, and I want to go back to where I had 6 months sobriety and go from there.

I am disappointed in myself and terrified that this can't be fixed.

tallcactus

Everything can be repaired.
Just start over. ODAAT.
Stay strong, fight 4 yourself and 4 your hubby, if that is what you want.

Dee74

Tallcactus is right - everything has the possibility of being repaired...but drinking on it makes it less and less likely, Sunrise.

Stay focused, stay sober, and you'll be able to deal with whatever else happens to the very best of your ability.

good wishes winging your way,
D

least

Do start over today. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Try again.

CarolD

I too had false starts before I settled into solid recovery.
The sooner you stop again...the easier It will be.

Sorry to know your marriage is still troubled.
Blessings to both of you.

loveon2legs

Don't be too hard on yourself....I think we all have stumbled and fell..and recognizing that you don't want to drink is a big step...today is another day.... Big hugs to you!!

shantra32

Just pick up and keep goin............don't beat yourself up.......realize you are human.....we all make mistakes.........it's what you learn from the mistakes that matters......... xo

sunrise1

Things are much better and I'll be back to my home meeting tomorrow. I could go into the whole story but short and sweet- he's biplolar and wavers between denial and spending one week on a prescribed medicine before declaring it's not working.

I should know better by now that when I tell him I'm getting off the merry go round for the evening- - EVERYTHING he says after that should not be listened to. I must remind myself that it's chemical and not let it make me crazy. When I separate myself from him and he calls 25 times in a row I must turn the phone off and again remind myself not to get wrapped up in something that will be gone in 2 days.

He has agreed to go to both the shrink and the meds dr. and he will do whatever they say.

Nevertheless

I believe going to your home meeting is somewhere at the top of the best things you can do.
Keep going back and stick with it. We all know how at the time drinking seems like such a good idea. We all also know how the next day it was such a bad idea. Stop and play the tape from beginning to end before taking the next first drink.
Stick with it and you will succeed.
Fred

iloveme

Sunrise, Your marriage is in my prayers. What helps me when I feel "slippery" is to run from from slippery places....... Love him with the same patience that you have been shown. He has a mental illness, this is difficult but remember Satan knows your weakness. Own your own stuff.. it really isn't about your relationship or your challenges it is about you and the choices you make. Brush it off and get up fast you are a winner......God bless you today!!!