Functional alcoholic
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,955
I was a functioning alcoholic...my main function was drinking, work and drinking, home life and drinking...like that. Not an AA person per say myself but having a recovery plan in place can make a good deal of difference.
I hope you are well on your way to making some major positive life changes...keep posting and hope to see more of you here at SoberRecovery.
I hope you are well on your way to making some major positive life changes...keep posting and hope to see more of you here at SoberRecovery.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Living in Today!
Posts: 3,945
Originally Posted by wanttochange 
Hi, Im new here. I am what you would call a functional alcoholic. I have worked at the same job for 3 years now and my drinking does not affect it. I have had promotions and all of my reviews have been excellent. After work I goto the store everyday and pick up my fix, get hammered, wake up in the morning to a new nightmare of bits and pieces of shameful memories of things I did the night before, puke my guts out, then get ready for work again. Im tired of it. Ive been a drinker for 15 years now but the last year has been out of control. I crave it both physically and mentally. It eliminates all worries (thoughts about what I did the night before, debts, relationship problems, stress, etc). I wake up to a new day saying never again only to have the craving for more come on in the afternoon. My wife has threatened to leave me several times. Ive never been an abusive drunk, just a mouthy one at times especially if ive had a hard day. I want to quit but I am completely powerless over alcohol. I miss the days when I could drink one night and not do it again for a month, which was a long time ago. If I go more than a couple of days without a drink I cant sleep, I get jittery, I constantly worry about debts that I cannot pay off, and I generally just want to lay in bed and stare at the wall in a state of depression. Can anyone relate? Ive been considering AA. Ive been to meetings before only to leave and go directly to the store. I want this nightmare to end before I lose everything ive worked so hard to create.
Awakening
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Riverside, CA
Posts: 290
Originally Posted by ElegantlyWasted
I've come to view the term "functional alkie as an oxymoron" since some facets of ones life may be in order, but others are in total chaos. Buying into the term form I now believe is a symptom of the problem, a form a denial if you will.
In fact, my primary reason for wanting to quit drinking has been that, every time I did get some momentum going in my life, I would drink, get back into that "chronic hangover mode" and start putting things off again. It's caused me no end of anxiety (which alcohol seems to neutralize in the immediate term) actually. In fact, I feel trapped in anxiety quicksand alot of the time.
Rev
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Welcome want to change!
Just one question: if you get hammered and feel like crap in the morning....isn't that affecting your job too?
Perhaps your drinking has affected your mindset as it did mine. I never got fired for alcohol related behavior. I was also promoted.
But in retrospect, I see how I could have done so much more. I could have advanced even further in my career. But, I did what was "good enough". I didn't reach for the stars because I was afraid to. I towed the line and showed up for work. I did not excell because alcoholism was meddling with my self image and tampering with my ideas about my abilities.
Just one question: if you get hammered and feel like crap in the morning....isn't that affecting your job too?
Perhaps your drinking has affected your mindset as it did mine. I never got fired for alcohol related behavior. I was also promoted.
But in retrospect, I see how I could have done so much more. I could have advanced even further in my career. But, I did what was "good enough". I didn't reach for the stars because I was afraid to. I towed the line and showed up for work. I did not excell because alcoholism was meddling with my self image and tampering with my ideas about my abilities.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: The Plains
Posts: 149
Originally Posted by Rev
I'm new as well, and have been doing alot of re-evaluation of my drinking habits, and this statement makes alot of sense to me. I never had a problem with getting to work, etc., but I do have this life that feels like it's in a continuous holding pattern. I have intentions to clean up the house, get my debts paid off, get in shape, etc. but never manage to get too far changing things before procrastination and worry push me off track.
In fact, my primary reason for wanting to quit drinking has been that, every time I did get some momentum going in my life, I would drink, get back into that "chronic hangover mode" and start putting things off again. It's caused me no end of anxiety (which alcohol seems to neutralize in the immediate term) actually. In fact, I feel trapped in anxiety quicksand alot of the time.
Rev
In fact, my primary reason for wanting to quit drinking has been that, every time I did get some momentum going in my life, I would drink, get back into that "chronic hangover mode" and start putting things off again. It's caused me no end of anxiety (which alcohol seems to neutralize in the immediate term) actually. In fact, I feel trapped in anxiety quicksand alot of the time.
Rev
Drinking only made my anxiety worse. Now that I am sober, the anxiety is gone. Sure, there is still stress and anxiety as I have a pretty intense job, but its not nearly as magnified as it was when I was drinking. Like you, the lack of productivity was another total downer too. I would binge all weekend long. When I was conscious during waking hours I would be hungover most of the day. If I was lucky I would be able to have 2-3 hours of feeling not hungover in the late afternoon before starting to drink again. What a total waste of time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 31
"functional alcoholic" was a great label for myself before I really accepted that I am powerless over alcohol, and that my life had become unmanageable. Even though I was usually [hungover/still drunk/still stoned] during the work day, I continued to receive positive feedback on the quality of my work from my boss and even a couple of promotions. And my inability to function at home (especially on weekends), well, that doesn't really count, does it? So what if my wife feels that she needs to arrange to go shopping with me two days in advance so I'll be capable of driving? And I was usually able to get out of bed if I needed a pee, and if not, then hey, the plastic sheet's functional, isn't it?
Having only been sober very briefly, I've been revisiting some of that work (I'm a computer programmer). The strange thing is, a lot of it looks like it was written by someone who was hammered!
Yeah, I was functional
Having only been sober very briefly, I've been revisiting some of that work (I'm a computer programmer). The strange thing is, a lot of it looks like it was written by someone who was hammered!
Yeah, I was functional
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
hello there and welcome to sr,it has been an invaluable tool in my recovery.
i had a job too until about the last few months of my drinking when i became unemployable.
functioning? definatly not.i was losing my family,i could not interact properly with the human race and although i thought nobody knew at work when i went to make amends everybody had known all along.i couldnt pay bills either...etc etc.
i went to AA a little over a year ago,after a month i drank again and i didnt want to,you said yourself you are powerless over alcohol,well so am i unless i have a spiritual solution to my dilemma,cant live with it cant live without it.
i knew then that i had to change,if i didnt i was doomed to keep on doing what i had been doing for 20 years.
so i got a sponsor,did the steps had a spiritual awakening as a result of those steps.
i now have a programme for living in which it is not necessary to drink.i never think about it.life is infinitly better than it ever has been.
AA is not for everyone,but it gave me a gateway to a life i never believed could be for this hopeless,helpless alcoholic.
are you willing to go to any lengths to get and stay sober?
if so i suggest you go to a meeting.you have nothing to loose and maybe everything to gain.
i wish you well.
i had a job too until about the last few months of my drinking when i became unemployable.
functioning? definatly not.i was losing my family,i could not interact properly with the human race and although i thought nobody knew at work when i went to make amends everybody had known all along.i couldnt pay bills either...etc etc.
i went to AA a little over a year ago,after a month i drank again and i didnt want to,you said yourself you are powerless over alcohol,well so am i unless i have a spiritual solution to my dilemma,cant live with it cant live without it.
i knew then that i had to change,if i didnt i was doomed to keep on doing what i had been doing for 20 years.
so i got a sponsor,did the steps had a spiritual awakening as a result of those steps.
i now have a programme for living in which it is not necessary to drink.i never think about it.life is infinitly better than it ever has been.
AA is not for everyone,but it gave me a gateway to a life i never believed could be for this hopeless,helpless alcoholic.
are you willing to go to any lengths to get and stay sober?
if so i suggest you go to a meeting.you have nothing to loose and maybe everything to gain.
i wish you well.
Karma Amputee
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Among The Living
Posts: 769
Originally Posted by wanttochange
I am what you would call a functional alcoholic.
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