sunrise1

Heh... probably not an often broached topic... but sober sex is SO far and above better than drunk sex. I wouldn't trade one night with hubby now for all the nights we did when I was buzzed or drunk; it's just so much better when you and your partner are on the same wavelength and neither one of you is in danger of passing out midstream.

Just sayin'

Ceres

Yesss. It is.

Ceres

Uh, I have to add, I'm not having any at the moment. :-) But, we can be sure my next partner will be a very happy man.

Rimmy

You have a private message


j/k

Ceres

Ha ha! I'm not allowed. my friends would kick my butt. I'm a good girl. :-P

Mark75

Maybe I'm the only one, but sober sex has actually been a bit of an adjustment. Absolutely the emotional connection is there, but, maybe some inhibitions come back ???
Not that I would want to go back...

Mark

Ceres

There is truth to that. But ultimately it gets easier I think. We get used to a kind of intimacy and openess from listening to such personal stories and revelations in the meetings, that it carries over to our physical selves eventually.

Charmie

absolutely an adjustment for me.
in the last year and a bit since i got sober i can count on one hand how many times my long term partner and i have "engaged"
this is my sex instinct not kicking back in yet,and this is going to take some time.
when i did my steps 4 and 5 i discovered i had never used my sex instinct in the "right" manner at all.
so im giving time time.

CStyle

Hmmm, Um I pretty much just like sex!

The real adjustment for me was learning how to be monogamous. My wife and I have been together 6 years and honestly, the sex just keeps getting better.

intention

Ditto that with emphasis on the word never.

I would guess we are not the only ones, Charmie.

Charmie

i would guess not either intention

CStyle

yes page 69 of the big book has been an important part of my recovery process.

Parsifal88

I Dont know...I think alcohol-fueled sex is perhaps the thing i miss most. It's funny, but for me it kinda went hand-in hand. I'm married with children, so when my spouse and i knew we were having a 'date night' (which isn't all that often) , i'd break out a bottle of wine...( i'd have a few 'extra' shots of vodka in the garage...)...and inhibition got thrown to the wind...along with our underwear (sorry that was an easy joke)...(enter:70's porn music)

This sick 'association' between sex and booze (for me) really put a bad spin on things eventually because it got to the point where i had difficulty enjoying sex if we werent both a bit intoxicated...

So...now that i've been sober awhile, i'm still dealing with the 'adjustment' of sober-intimacy. I'm sure i'll find my way...it's just sex after all


And (a wee off the subject)...i've also found that having a supportive, non problem-drinker as a spouse is perhaps the best tool you can have in your recovery...if you're honest with him/her. Not just with sex...i mean in all phases...(had to brag on her a bit)...

Ceres

"it's just sex after all"

Not for long! A whole new sense of connected intimacy awaits.

Kerbcrawler

Sober Sex Hmm works for me.. anythin to save on that VIAGRA bill...Darn expensive stuff..
hehe...

shaun00

Whats drunk sex anyhow.......it may have happened but i dont remember.
Today i love my wife.....with a depth that was beyond my comprehension.

i didnt have time to love my wife.......i was way to busy with me....and me....and more me.

rather than love her for what she can do for me......i love her for the person she is.

As for the sex it now has an deep emotional element......rather than a quick knee trembler between drinks.