flavinho

Im so ashamed now. I drank again, I started with a can of beer and hours later I finished 3 bottles of vodka. I was sober during all this time, 5 months. I was lonely, but I was sober, but it was a massive prrof Im an alcoholic. I cried when I saw my face at the mirror, I was so miserable, bloated and disgusting.

CarolD

Sorry to know you did start drinking again.
I too had false starts before I finally stopped.
AA is the program I use.

Please stop quickly and this time....do consider
useing AA or another structured recovery program.

Here is a link for you to explore....

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html

Sudz No More

Don't get discouraged, just go back at it. You'll be alright, if you can go 5 months once you can go further the next time. That you understand how you feel is a huge step towards staying clean in the future. No big deal, just try again.

Dee74

I'm sorry flavinho - it's really hard to change your life.
I found, to make it stick, I had to do a lot more than just not drink.

Carols advice is good - if you haven't tried AA or some other programme, now might be a good time - might help with the loneliness too

D

least

I recall hitting around six months and throwing it away. I was so ashamed of myself. Then I got back up and tried again. I've had 'a few' tries. Now I feel like I'm finally really 'getting it'. Keep at it until you make it, one day at a time. Before you know it you'll have surpassed this time and will be stronger.

Checking out AA or another recovery program is a good idea. AA helped me a lot in the beginning and I still go to some meetings. Whether I go now or not, I can still use the tools and methods I learn(ed) in meetings.

aqua4017

I had 4 months sobriety (I was doing it alone) and then I had a glass of wine over the holidays and was fine, so I thought I was cured! I had a glass of sangria the next week and then I was back to drinking a fifth a day instantly. It's incredible how this disease works!

I hated myself, but I went straight to AA after this because I've let myself think I could do this alone too many times, and obviously I can't. I'm coming up on 2 months next week and doing this with a support group is so much easier than last time. Hopefully I will never take a chance with "just one" again, because even though every once in a while I can manage with just one drink, I never know if this will be the drink that sends me into another bender.

NEOMARXIST

Thanks for posting. I mean that in no disrespectful way whatsoever. In posting this you help recovering alcoholics, like myself, remember what happens as the result of just " a can of beer".

I remember walking down the alleyway to go to the shop after I had worked through my 4 cans that were in the fridge as a test for 'moderation'. Man I was like a man possessed walking to get those beers.

I knew many times in similar situations, where I physically couldn't leave the towncentre after drinking and had to be dragged away for example, that I am undoubably an alcoholic.

I would rather not drink at all than have a few drinks. Man the feeling I get after a few and not being able to get any more is absolute torture. It's like watching paint dry, waiting for the booze cravings to dissapear as the blood alcohol level drops. I had to be locked in my room to stop me from buying more booze on some of my binges apparently. I can't remember none of this but I was like a werewolf caged or something. Man total and utter alkie.

My brain just likes booze way too much once it registers and so I am best to never take that first drink. I knew I was addicted for a good while really, but it's making that step of saying enough, and then following it through and dedicating my life to remaining sober as NO1 Priority.

I realised that without sobriety then I have nothing anyway.

peace

Charmie

hello there.have you ever thought about trying a programme?
i use the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous.
i never stood a chance of stopping on my own power,my recored was 2 weeks over a 20 yr period.
i got a sponsor when i went to AA and she taught me about what i suffer from....alcoholism.
this means when i stop drinking things dont get better,they get worse,booze was my solution to life.
i learned about the physical allergy i have,that means that when i take one drink its sets of an allergy that makes me crave alcohol more and more after every drink,my liver does not process alcohol like normal drinkers.
why not give AA a go? what do you have to loose? go get your 5 months and more back.
my life has changed beyond recognition and if i can do it anybody can.
i was hopeless.
now i live a happy useful life.
i wish you well.