ImReadyToQuit

I believe with me, I've had a long, relationship with alcohol.. A friend that was always there for me.. A friend that would kick my ass as well..

Ya know when you've had a bad break up with someone? or you lost someone you love, and you know you're never going to see them again...?? Thats my mind state right now with the bottle.. And since it's so new.. I saw my friend just last week.. But know they are gone.. My thoughts of alcohol are everyday.. Missing them....

But just like anything, the thoughts and feelings will fade with time...

CarolD

Hmm....
I think that was one of the best things I found
in AA........new people to share with about my
new goals and sober lifestyle

We did all sorts of things/events outside of meetings
We had a blast...and stayed sober together....

Yes...change makes for sadness sometimes.
Yes...recovery gives you a new fantastic future.

Mark75

Yea, that whole grief/loss thing... I get it... It's all part of the insanity, though. It does get a lot better.

But Carol makes an excellent point... move on, make new friends. I would add... stay rigorously honest, and when things feel right or are going right because you are not drunk, acknowledge it to yourself, or come here and do so.

Kill the lie.

Mark

CAPTAINZING2000

I've been sober for a few years. I'm seeing first hand what alcohol does to destory lives in my kids. My youngest son is facing at the very least jail time for a thrid DUI and driving on a revoked. My daughter had her car jacked by her b/f who leaves the car for the crack dealers to drive. I just bought her a car for nothing.

I hate this disease

penny74

Like a good friend that leaves, you get used to it after a while...

Dime

Since working the steps and visiting the detox patients at least once a week in the hospital, I certainly do not miss booze. My mind equates booze with the pain and suffering it has inflicted on so many alcoholics and their families.

Lets face it if you are an alcoholic and continue to drink the pleasure response of booze continues to decline until there is no pleasure response at all, just anxiety. In the end I only drank to stop the DT's.

The more sobriety related activity the more likely you will remember booze for what it really is.

HumbleBee

I thought this way in early sobriety only to realize that I never had a friend who wanted me dead.

Rather than waiting for those thoughts and feelings to fade over time, how 'bout developing new, positive thoughts and habits for a full and productive life in recovery?

Sobriety is only a death sentence if you think it is. We are what we think.

ImReadyToQuit

I think some are missing what I was saying.. This is just my experience during week one.. Obviously I know the dangers and death sentence of alcohol.. I'm speaking on my willingness to let the booze go.. Not to come back.

least

I get what you're saying. My wine was a friend to me too, until it started hurting me so bad. I missed it at first but not any more. Your feelings of loss will pass. After a while you won't miss it any more.

NEOMARXIST

I hear ya. I applaud you for writing what you are feeling. Don't be afraid to get your feeling and emotions out, as this will all help you stay sober.

I can relate totally to what you are saying mate. With time and work on your recovery then the grieiving/morning will lessen. But it will still be there at times, like when sexy woman are going to night-clubs and you know that you can't because you're an alcoholic. Accept the grieving/mourning as being a natural part of the sobriety process. That is why most people give-in, as it's hard.

Whatever you do don't pick up that first drink at any cost "just for today".

Do what you gotta do to managae that. I relate to you.

Keep The Faith.

NellieM

I understand what you're getting at, too. There's always a sense of loss when you give something up. you know it's for the best and all, but there's an emptiness there where it used to be, and it will feel empty for a while. The mourning will fade, the empty space will be replaced by something else, hopefully something much healthier. Today, you feel the absence and acknowledge it. That too is healthy.

dedubya

[QUOTE=Dime;2552420]Since working the steps and visiting the detox patients at least once a week in the hospital, I certainly do not miss booze. My mind equates booze with the pain and suffering it has inflicted on so many alcoholics and their families.

Lets face it if you are an alcoholic and continue to drink the pleasure response of booze continues to decline until there is no pleasure response at all, just anxiety. In the end I only drank to stop the DT's.


This is one of the most true statements about this disease, and people don't see it clearly when they cross that line. I sure have experienced it. One switches from the pleasure response, to medicating for the pain it's causing. What sane individual would want to go down that road??? Me, for one, I did anyway. I try to keep in the forefront of my mind the pain I do not want- not the 1-2 or maybe a couple more hours of pleasure (that result in a world of pain and problems). I am still fighting but getting better- I wish I was where you are- you have made it this far keep it up. Don't forget the pain part....
just my two cents.
Love and Peace
Dub

flutter

Yep, I had a love/hate relationship with alcohol, just like my other toxic relationships with people. It was hard to hate something that I loved so much.. and hard to love something that was killing me, but the battle waged on in my head until I was just done. I remember hearing this song (about a breakup) one of my first sober days when I was running on the treadmill and it seriously hit me, and made me process the way I was thinking about the 'breakup' with alcohol.. you've probably heard it.. if I'm not allowed to post this and it gets deleted, just google My Black Dahlia-Hollywood Undead:

(warning: explicit lyrics, images of violence)

YouTube - Hollywood Undead - My Black Dahlia Music Video

mikefreak

To me, Alcohol is like someone who used to be your best friend , who is now trying to kill you.

traderjane

Yep, I get what you're saying. I have been working at this for at least a year now and finally have 8 days sober with a good mindset.

I think what you are missing and grieving is not all the bad stuff, but the good part of drinking (at least how it was in the beginning, or how we wish it was). No one misses the bad stuff.

I think what I'm most sad about is that alcohol is no longer an option for me as an escape, a social activity, a comfort -- not that it ever really was a good option -- and it sure as hell got worse over time. At the same time, I'm excited, happy and celebrating my new sober life, which offers infinitely more possibilities for me than a drinking life. No question which is better for me.

I guess the bottom line is that it's normal to have mixed emotions. It's healthy to express them, too.

Nettaja

Then sobriety is like a new baby arriving, something to care for and nurture.

thisisme

Alcohol is no friend. It's not like someone I love dying. It's an insidious evil life sapping poison that drains hope, inspiration and your wallet.

The trick to sobriety for me was realizing that alcohol does nothing, takes all.
That friend you miss is still here.Look inside you.

Best.
Andrew

ImReadyToQuit

I'm 11 days in.. sober as a baby.

thisisme

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Sikkisirus

Keep it up Only leads to good things.