Day 49 for me but BF still drinking
Becoming a Butterfly
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
Day 49 for me but BF still drinking
Hi All - I have reached day 49. 49 lovely sober days. I only weakened once and thought about drinking. I was feeling self-destructive, but I managed to put it aside and now I am at happy, hangover-free day 49.
BF isn't doing well. He's "good" for a little while and then he's just a drunk again. Came home from work soused yesterday, stumbling around and being stupid. I slept on the couch and he apologized this morning. "Sorry babe, please come to bed." He stayed home from work to pack up as we're moving on Monday. But of course I came home and he had done very little and is passed out as I type these words. There's a half-empty (not half-full) bottle of red wine in the kitchen. Beer was possibly involved as well.
Now he's stirring cause he hears me typing. He knows he's getting to end of my willingness to cope with this, as much as I love him. I should really not move with him on Monday but find an alternative. I have some money - I could do it. It's so drastic though. I was down this road before with my ex-AH and with myself. I know what I have to do here but it's hard. Like so many of them, he's a treat to be around so much of the time but he just can't sustain.
He's got the signs of illness - the pepto bottles, the "I can't eat greasy food now that I'm older" delusion, the vomiting - it's eating his insides out. He confessed to me that when he drinks hard liquor the night before, his hands shake at work in the morning.
This is so hard.
BF isn't doing well. He's "good" for a little while and then he's just a drunk again. Came home from work soused yesterday, stumbling around and being stupid. I slept on the couch and he apologized this morning. "Sorry babe, please come to bed." He stayed home from work to pack up as we're moving on Monday. But of course I came home and he had done very little and is passed out as I type these words. There's a half-empty (not half-full) bottle of red wine in the kitchen. Beer was possibly involved as well.
Now he's stirring cause he hears me typing. He knows he's getting to end of my willingness to cope with this, as much as I love him. I should really not move with him on Monday but find an alternative. I have some money - I could do it. It's so drastic though. I was down this road before with my ex-AH and with myself. I know what I have to do here but it's hard. Like so many of them, he's a treat to be around so much of the time but he just can't sustain.
He's got the signs of illness - the pepto bottles, the "I can't eat greasy food now that I'm older" delusion, the vomiting - it's eating his insides out. He confessed to me that when he drinks hard liquor the night before, his hands shake at work in the morning.
This is so hard.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by WantsOut 
Hi All - I have reached day 49. 49 lovely sober days. I only weakened once and thought about drinking. I was feeling self-destructive, but I managed to put it aside and now I am at happy, hangover-free day 49.
BF isn't doing well. He's "good" for a little while and then he's just a drunk again. Came home from work soused yesterday, stumbling around and being stupid. I slept on the couch and he apologized this morning. "Sorry babe, please come to bed." He stayed home from work to pack up as we're moving on Monday. But of course I came home and he had done very little and is passed out as I type these words. There's a half-empty (not half-full) bottle of red wine in the kitchen. Beer was possibly involved as well.
Now he's stirring cause he hears me typing. He knows he's getting to end of my willingness to cope with this, as much as I love him. I should really not move with him on Monday but find an alternative. I have some money - I could do it. It's so drastic though. I was down this road before with my ex-AH and with myself. I know what I have to do here but it's hard. Like so many of them, he's a treat to be around so much of the time but he just can't sustain.
He's got the signs of illness - the pepto bottles, the "I can't eat greasy food now that I'm older" delusion, the vomiting - it's eating his insides out. He confessed to me that when he drinks hard liquor the night before, his hands shake at work in the morning.
This is so hard.
BF isn't doing well. He's "good" for a little while and then he's just a drunk again. Came home from work soused yesterday, stumbling around and being stupid. I slept on the couch and he apologized this morning. "Sorry babe, please come to bed." He stayed home from work to pack up as we're moving on Monday. But of course I came home and he had done very little and is passed out as I type these words. There's a half-empty (not half-full) bottle of red wine in the kitchen. Beer was possibly involved as well.
Now he's stirring cause he hears me typing. He knows he's getting to end of my willingness to cope with this, as much as I love him. I should really not move with him on Monday but find an alternative. I have some money - I could do it. It's so drastic though. I was down this road before with my ex-AH and with myself. I know what I have to do here but it's hard. Like so many of them, he's a treat to be around so much of the time but he just can't sustain.
He's got the signs of illness - the pepto bottles, the "I can't eat greasy food now that I'm older" delusion, the vomiting - it's eating his insides out. He confessed to me that when he drinks hard liquor the night before, his hands shake at work in the morning.
This is so hard.
I am really sorry. I really cannot begin to imagine the frustration you are going through.
Has he admitted himself that he has a drinking problem? Did he even think that you had a drinking problem at any point?
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: uk
Posts: 464
Not easy stopped..Tryin to stop around your partner/spouse still knockin it back..In the same Predicament..Though theres a young child involved..That needs at least one of us in the response zone...would be easy to split if it werent for this...Tryin damm hard to hold my sober ground here..
sure is tough..hope you make the right decisions..well done on your sober time..thats Awesome..
sure is tough..hope you make the right decisions..well done on your sober time..thats Awesome..
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,047
Originally Posted by Dime
Congrats on your 49 days! That is a great accomplishment. Stay strong and don't lose focus on your own sobriety. You can do it.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Well done on your sober time WO.....
I did leave my still drinking lover to protect my
early sobriety. My new goals and lifestyle
simply did not mesh with his continious boozeing.
I did leave my still drinking lover to protect my
early sobriety. My new goals and lifestyle
simply did not mesh with his continious boozeing.
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