MagicMan08

But I continue despite the amazing difficulties life has shown me from drinking and using. Jail, Monitoring, Probation, Family, Girlfriends.

The hardest thing is truly knowing I love this woman, and being sober will open up things with her again. But I continue to drink, despite wanting and knowing I should be sober.

I have attended AA for 3 years. Am most recently working with a sponsor on step 4, but I have stalled him. And he has the attitude, that I need to make the contact. Which makes sense, if I wanna work through these steps.

I have been stuck in this struggle for 3 years, and 2 dwi's and many issues later, I would love to be done.

However, I AM A REAL ALCOHOLIC, and need to quit telling myself otherwise. I am just so frustrated with life lately, but things aren't so bad at all. Thats the insanity that comes with drinking. I HATE it. (feels weird doing this again for the umteenth time, but I have to share with someone)

On a positive note, I have made plans to meet up with an old friend of mine on Sunday. I am excited, as we are both nerds, and had a ton in common before I decided seeking a buzz was more important than true friends.

Feedback and Thoughts would be appreciated. I am struggling. Thanks ALL for reading.

CAPTAINZING2000

Ever start your day off in prayer and meditation?

CarolD

For me to finally quit drinking.....regardless of anything
else that was happening in my life.....

had to want to stop more than I wanted to drink.

I think Step 1 is where you need to be
if you are planning to continue do AA.

Here is a list of various recovery programs
for you to explore.....

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html

Prayers that you will soon reach that turning point.

mercurial me

Stay strong and it's awesome to see another AIC fan in here!

Taking5

Please clarify what it is you'd like to be done with. The steps?

littlebluedog

Well, he's right on if his attitude is that you need to make contact. When you're really ready, you have to be able to do whatever it takes to get and stay sober. That includes you taking the initiative to meet with him and work the steps. His job is to guide you through the steps, not keep tabs on you.

If you haven't got steps one, two and three down, forget about step four. Or any of the other steps for that matter.

least

What CarolD said is what has the most meaning for me: I had to want to be sober MORE than I wanted to drink. I think I may have had my 'psychic change' they talk about in AA cause this week has been horrible but I had no desire to drink thru all the troubles.

I hope you can get and stay sober soon. Alcoholism will chase you until you die - do you want to let it go that far?