findingt

Hi everyone,

Haven't posted much on here but I've been meaning to change that. I just had a talk with my sister about my drinking. Long story short we've been living together always and she's seen me drink myself stupid. She told me she felt like her glass was finally filling up, and for once I felt we were both honest with each other. I told her that even though I wasn't on her side I know it's really hard on her to have lived through all this sh*t with me.


I told her that I was very sorry for everything she's gone through and that I wish things would've been different. That she has to take care of herself and find someone to talk to cus she can't keep it all inside. I said that I understood if she wanted us to go our separate ways and that we would still be sisters. It was a very hard conversation my voice kept breaking and I don't think I've been this honest before.

I said that at one point in my life I was afraid of never drinking again and that right now I'm afraid of drinking and not being able to stop.

I finally made the step to see an addiction therapist, if that doesn't work then I'm gonna keep trying different methods. I've been drinking for about 10 years now, up until recently I was too selfish to notice that I had been affecting my little sister with my alcoholism. I don't want to be that person anymore.

I told her that even though I was saying sorry I know that it's not enough, years of being a witness to my constant drinking won't be erased with a "sorry" to give me time and if she sees that it's the same as the other times I had quit to make a decision then. I know I don't want to lose my little sister and I don't want to keep hurting her.

Not really sure why I'm writing this but I felt the need to share. I was an every day drinker, now it's mostly binging, I haven't had a drink since last Thursday and I pray to God I finally have the strength to not pick up a drink again.

I really want my sister to find a support group but I'm not sure if I should be the one telling her that. Any thoughts on that?

Thanks for reading everyone.

findingt

Oopss!! Just saw how big it is! Oh my .. sorry everyone, is there a way to edit it? *blushes*

Thanks for your reply keepcominback, it's so sad about your brother and I thank God we're not there yet with my sister and I don't want to get there. I can't fix or erase the things I've done but I need/want to do something to save what we have left...

joedris

You need to try AA for a while. I suggest your sister try Al-anon. If she's interested, she could also find support and advice in Friends and Family Forum.

Omega10

Congratulations on having the talk with your sister, I can appreciate how hard it must have been for you to talk about your drinking with her.

Stay strong, hopefully you will find peace and will be able to make amends.

HumbleBee

Hello Findingt,

It may sound cliche, but BE the change you want to see. Taking action steps to recover speaks much more loudly than the words I'm sorry.

While it's always best to get sober for yourself, doing so will show your sister how serious you are in improving and strengthening your relationship with her.

If you focus on your own recovery support, I think your sister will find hers in her own time and way. Wishing you all the best.

findingt

Thanks Omega! I hope so too...Humblebee, cliches are right on. I told her exactly that, saying sorry won't change it but I'm taking the first steps to stay sober and hopefully time will show her that they weren't empty words.

Have my second appointment on Monday, my therapist suggested a 12 step group, I've also been looking into that. I wanna stay sober more than anything.

Thanks for your responses!