Lilly Burn

You are right, thank you, I just see in 0 percentages!! BUT that selfishness is hard to lie low

hughs dad

For me, I made a ton of money during the first four years of my disease. I can look back and notice that as my income increased, my drinking increased. Add to it, I left me wife, bought a new house, new car, etc... and things were great early on in my disease. But before long, I lost the job, lost the income, drinking increased, lost my self respect, lost an overal caring for myself, etc. I am still trying to forgive myself for all that I've done.

I have realized through doing step 4 that I have a lot of un settled problems that I had been medicating with drinking. Then, after a night of drinking I would have more problems the next day because of drinking. What's crazy is, I have real problems. But my medication has been booze. Booze then becomes a problem. So I have real problems mixed with self imposed problems (booze and drugs). Add all that up and it's pretty nuts...

Like I've said I'm not sure if booze was the problem or if I am the problem. All I know, is I have drank heavily for six years and in that six years I've gained the world and lost it all. I know booze was a huge part in that. I don't hate the booze, I hate myself for getting wrapped up into it and allowing it to take over my life. Not anymore!!!!!

PaperDolls

with out a doubt, for me, it's self-respect

Snarf

It's not a done deal yet, but it's looking like my nearly 7-year relationship with my fiancee is likely over. She's none too pleased about a second DUI. Gee, whoulda thunk?

But the day after I got it (which was 1 week ago today) I went straight to the AA rooms, got an awesome sponsor and dove head-first into my sobriety. The first few days we didn't even talk. She asked me about my plans (she had told me she wanted me to move out), and I replied that I needed a little time. I told her the last 4 days my only focus had been on AA and getting myself clean. I spilled it all to her, and she didn't say much in response. The conversation pretty much just died and then I left for a meeting.

I'm just laying low, keeping my mouth shut and hoping she sees a change in me, rather than me running my mouth off yet again about how I'm going to change (which I never really wanted to do anyway...just placating her and figuring I could hide my drinking. Yeah, she'll never know when the guy she's slept next to for over 6 years comes in stumbling and wreaking of booze.). And I realized I can't stress over it. I put it all in God's hands, turned it over to him and told him to work his will. If that's for us to be together, awesome. If not, I now know that would be the best for both of us, because it's in his plan.

I pray on it, and I'm just going about my business and trying to make myself the best person I can be. But the jury's still out on the relationship.

dipso

In one fell swoop last Saturday, I thought I LOST pretty much everything.
wife
child
career
dog
house
friends
reputation
prospects
financial security
dignity
freedom
luxury

But last night, tossong and turning over this very topic, I realized that I THREW all of those things away.
And I must accept that.

What have I lost by my alcoholism (and hope for recovery)?
Well, besides the thirty years of minimalizing my capabilities, I hope to lose:
My tendency to ********
my lack of self respect
my slovenliness
my inability to follow through on...everything
my laziness about fitness and health
my incapacitylac of desire to see how others see me
my spiritual malaise
my grandiosity
my ego....


my, my, my!

I have been laid low, and have been thinking these very things.

I could stand to lose a LOT right now, in a dichotomy of ways!

thisisme

My son.
Hope.
Myself.

I got sober and found myself. Hope lives again.

justjo

I have lost ME

tommy79

My twenties.

Never getting those years back.

MeAndOnlyMe

...made my mouth water. And beer wasn't even my typical drink of choice. Old habits die hard.

jrmar

Time

Time with my God, My kids, and time with me.

Fandy

I've lost time, I've lost my health and I lost my enthusiasm for living....for a while I honestly didn't care if I was alive or dead...there wasn't much difference.

heavy drinking fuels depression which fuels more drinking, they feed off of each other. after almost 7 weeks sober, I'm not nearly as depressed, I'm hopeful and I feel a WHOLE LOT BETTER PHYSICALLY....(my resting HR and BP have returned to normal, my meds are cut in 1/2)...I am starting to exercise and take care of myself, I no longer feel hollow.

My life is still far from perfect and there is no *instant* happiness, but i no longer feel like grabbing a fistful of barbituates and downing them with a bottle of wine either.

I don't know if I'll get to *happy* with my life, but what I feel now is a vast improvement over February 15.

tsukiko

Eleven dead friends. Money. My partner. My family. My home. My freedom. My health. Even my mind (I experienced psychosis)...All gone before I was 21.

The worst thing though? I couldn't say anything, do anything, to stop my friends dying, to make those I love stay, to keep my home...when I did speak no one believed me anyway. Being mute turns you invisible. Nobody sees you. You're a ghost. You dont belong anywhere and you cant speak about it or express it because there's no one there to hear it, to hear you.

The worst thing I lost? I lost my voice.

madeline4

I voted for all 4