Nevertheless

I blacked out every night.
Like Yeagr8t said, when I was just out of highschool, we thought it was funny.
Fred

exquisitered

I pretty much always had blackouts. Starting as a teen and just getting worse and more frequent as my drinking progressed. I had them very, very often (nightly by the end) it didn't matter what I drank. I tried switching to only beer for awhile because I thought I was less likely to blackout that way, but it made no difference. I think in a sick way the blackouts became the "goal" of my drinking. I hated them, but at the same time I didn't feel like I was drunk until I had one or something. I mean, towards the end of my drinking I would barely even feel like I had a buzz and then I would blackout. I don't remember actually getting drunk at all. This has gotten even worse since I sobered up btw... I had a relapse after 13 months sober and I blacked out after 4 drinks! There was a time I could drink most of a half gallon of hard liquor before I blacked out and I was shocked that I could blackout from so little an amount. They were the worst thing about my drinking and what eventually made me decide to quit. My behavior during blackouts just got weirder and weirder the more I had them and I couldn't stand to be that person anymore. Even now the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is try to remember going to bed the night before. That is how I always knew whether I had blacked out or not and I guess old habits die hard, cause it's always my first thought. I am SO very grateful not to have them anymore!

intention

As my tolerance to alcohol increased and I could drink more the point at which I blacked out happened quicker and quicker. In the last year, after two glasses of wine I would have no recollection of anything else.

I had to turn the phone off and leave notes for myself.

It was scary, scary, scary. Ultimately it was a blackout and no memory of a certain incident which got me to admit that I was an alcoholic and could never drink again.

CAPTAINZING2000

I often wonder if, I drank so much cause, I couldn't stop or, I just wanted to drink until, I felt nothing!!!

readyforhelp

That's how I found SR.
I was blacking out every time I drank even if it was just a little.(?!) I googled "blackouts" and the rest is history.

NEOMARXIST

yeahgr8, I used to have that happen a lot too. I had people come up to me and say alright to me like they clearly had been hanging out with me and I felt like I had never met them in my life. With girls they used to be talking to me and they used to get really offended as I couldn't remember their names! There is no coming back from that one! lol. They used to know to talk to me at the start of the night as I could hold a conversation but literally an hour or two later they were off! haha.

Also used to wake up with phone no's and names stored in my phone who I didn't have a clue who they were. Phone calls to random no's at 3 in the morning and crap like that too. That was when I was still relativley functioning mindyou, Towards the end (last 2 years really) I just drank alone as it was less hassle. Occassionally seshin with dealers or their acqaintances but nobody drank like me. These charcters knew the score and accepted blackout drunk behaviour.

Dime

I used to joking say I never had any blackouts because if I remembered them they would no longer by definition be blackouts.

But honestly I have memory loses in periods of time in which I have little to no recollection.

These were and still are very frightening to me.

Blackouts are another big reason why I love being sober today.

Pagekeeper

I blacked out nearly every time I drank with a few exceptions.

In the last years of my drinking, alcohol had stopped working, and I only had two states while drinking: too sober or blacked out. I never felt "high" anymore, or at least not high enough.

fragrantrose

my drinking patterns have been strange.
I blacked out with my 1st exposure to alcohol at age 14 and frequently in my 20's but since having periods of sobriety/relapse in my middle years and being aware of recovery,(AA) blackouts have decreased a lot, but much worse hangovers and cravings.Has anyone had a similar experience?

postparty82

The scarier thing for me was that towards the end, I would black out every night and then pass out randomly. I woke up on living room floors having no idea why i was there (did I pass out and just fall over while standing or lie down?), with my computer chair knocked over and me underneath my desk, sitting up straight on the couch with a spilled drink in my lap,etc. It became the MOST telling sign to me that I was in trouble. I began to have problems going to bars/ parties and having people tell me I passed out on people's shoulders/the tables,etc.

DetroitRock

Yeah. But I would usually prepare something to eat for later when I got the munchies, shut off my phone, clear all glass out of the way and lock and bolt my doors. Then...I would drink until I passed out. Since I prepared everything, I didn't have to leave the house for any reason and ensured that I wouldn't do anything stupid.

The worst nights for me were when I miscalculated the amount of cigarettes I needed, which was just over a pack and I ran short right before finishing off the last bit of booze that I needed, then I would HAVE to leave the house which almost guaranteed that I would do something stupid and hear about it the next day.

fragrantrose

reading detroit's post reminded me that in recent times actually been more of a "passout drinker"home shut in my room so daughter would not see,with awful remorse in a.m. What did i say?when i would drink dial etc.
Seem to have strange blank spots and short memory when it comes to drinking history.......

armaviva

towards the end i was blacking out everytime i drank. i could only remember about an hour or two after i started drinking

i quit drinking when i woke up in jail with no recollection of how or why i was there, learned later that i had been charged with underage consumption & disorderly conduct. had no idea what i did to earn myself disorderly conduct (and i still dont know)

oh & almost every co there was giving me dirty looks... probably dont even want to know what i had been saying to them :/

tallcactus

Did most of my drinking alone too.
Woke up one time naked, on the couch, with blueberry pie all over me and the tile floor.
Can't and still do not remember a thing.
Did I go outside, was I naked outside? Haven't a clue. This was several years ago, never found out what happened and I'm sure I never will. A few times I thought the neighbors looked at me funny or was that my imagination or guilt?
Glad 2 B sober today.

NEOMARXIST

I was experiencing really weird stuff caused by my excessive boozing that was causing me lots of paranoia and anxiety. Like I would vividly dream in my passouts or was it a dream? I was struggling to distinguish reality from dreams. Like I didn't know if I had actually dreamed stuff had happened or basically I was in a blackout and little flashes were coming back to me. Really f*cks with your mind. When I think about those memories (or lack of them!) my head kinda hurts. Really weird feeling to describe. Like my brain was getting damaged. Man I think my mind would have been totally cabbaged after about another 5-10 years of that.

Sarra

Wow... I have had the same episodes of not remembering, waking up in places and not knowing how I got there. Having my friends tell me what jacked up and embarrassing things I did. It also seems... with me... that over time, the memory loss got worse and it took less alcohol for the blackouts to happen.

Most humiliating moments.... waking up completely naked in a room and not remember how I got there or why I was not clothed. Finding out I passed out with my face in my plate full of food - at the restaurant. Going to a party a couple of houses down and taking my son with me (they had kids his age - he was 9 and it was a family oriented bbq) and waking up at home (still drunk) not remembering how I got there or if my son had come home with me..... I FREAKED out.. that was definitely one of my "rock bottom" moments.

One thing that's good to know.... is I'm not the only one.

NEOMARXIST

Another good thing to know is that as long as you never take that first drink then you will never have to go through it again. Simple...

getr345

I feel very fortunate to have never experienced blackouts, they sound very scary from I have read and heard. In fact, I rarely ever even passed out (like out cold) from drinking, I just got very tired sometimes and fell asleep but I had a pretty high tolerance for alcohol and it rarely if ever put me out like a light or anything.

least

I honestly thought I had never blacked out, but then while talking to an old friend the other day, he reminded me of a halloween party I'd gone to... I came home wrapped in a blanket, don't know where my clothes were or who brought me home. I was very young at the time, and didn't drink much/often, but that one time must have been awful. That's the only time I blacked out, but it scares me to know that I didn't know what I was doing.

Tommyh

I had a lot of blackouts,way too many to remember