Recovery1983

So I had my last drink on Tuesday and I'm trying to get pass the alcohol withdrawals. I was wondering if someone could help fix my thinking. As I start my journey of sobriety, I cant but concentrate on the long road ahead of me. Before relapsing, I had 10 months of sobriety and now i'm just thinking of how long it will take for me to get there. I keep dwelling on the fact that I am starting all over. I know they tell me to take it one day at a time but my mind is not doing that. My mind is thinking of how much time must pass by before you start to feel better. To be honest, it's bringing me down. Also, that is just the alcohol part. I've affected people, badly, through my alcoholism since my relapse. I've put them on the back burner because i just dont know what to say to them.

Astro

I did a lot of that thinking too, but that's "futurizing" and tomorrow ain't here yet, neither is next week. Personally, I'm having a pretty effed up week so I'm doing my best to narrow it down to just a few minutes at a time or it'll overwhelm me.

I stayed "down" a long time. I started to feel better when I started working on my recovery, actually applying myself to working the 12 Steps. The harder I worked, the better I felt. It continues that way 5 years later, I get as much out of recovery as I put into it, and sometimes more, the gifts of sobriety astound me.

On the subject of taking it one day at a time.....an oldtimer I know shares it like this......The best thing I'll do today is to go to bed without taking a drink. Tomorrow I can do it all over again.

They also told me.....KISS.....Keep It Short & Simple or Keep It Simple, Stupid.

I can handle that. One day at a time.

Mcribb

You have to get used to living day to day, I realized I am not normal, but the best thing for me if I wanted to stay sober was to take it a day at a time, put it on a cd, mp3 player, write it down, until you get it. Once you do a weight will be off your shoulders. When that day comes that is hard, get through that day!

shaun00

Heres a suggestion......read the "doctors opinion" the the book alcoholics anonymous..

consider the idea that your mind may be as sick as your body.
consider the idea that you were powerless stone cold sober..

you drank after 10 months right?.........stone cold sober and with a suppose knowlege of the devastating consequences......you do it all over again..

does that suggest to you.......you suffer a form of insanity?...

STONE COLD SOBER AND YOU SPIN THE BARREL AGAIN....Insane right.

me......i felt like a bull being led by the ring through its nose.....i was powerless to resist......

id be interested to hear your thoughts.

shaun00

p.s

oh and joe........take it easy man....withdrawals aint nice.
plenty of quiet time.....water......and rest.

yeahgr8

IMO its a window of opportunity to do something different this time and get sober instead of just being dry for another period? Took me years to get to the point of another 'this time is for good i am done drinking' and thinking wait a minute haven't i done this before, is this really going to work...maybe an AA meeting is in order with some questions like the ones you have highlighted below...

DayWalker

Don't mean to reiterate what others have already said, but I can totally relate and I'll give ya my thoughts on it.

I use to think "one day at a time" was just some AA chiche'...I actually told my friend/sponsor a few weeks ago when he told me that line that I felt it was nothing more than something stitched on a pillow somewhere. But now...I understand what people mean when they say it, and it's actually a very strong thing when you think about it.

My biggest problem with "staying" sober is I always think....Well this is good for now, but how long can it last? I'm 38yrs old...can I live another 40 yrs and never drink again?? But that's the kind'a thinking that gets me in trouble.

If you do take things "one day at a time"...then you can do it and put together 1 day, 2 days, 3 days, and on and on. I still have problems keeping that one day at a time thing in my head. But when I do then it does work. Just think about right now, today...and not "tomorrow".

Steve

Dan Dare

That's spot on! The only thing that matters is the moment, because it really is the only thing you can control. You can feel bad about the past, but you can't change it. You can stress out about the future, but it's not here yet. Right now is what you can control.
The only thing I know is now I am not drinking alcohol. And if I continue, I'm pretty sure I will sleep good tonight, and I'll wake up tomorrow feeling rested, clear, and free. That's a damn good payoff.
At day 17 I find myself thinking... "it would be a shame to have come this far and have to start over again..."

Recovery1983

Trucker- You are absolutely right. I never thought about it that way. Even with 10 months of sobriety, I still made the insane decision to try alcohol even though what has happened in the past. So many people around me have conditioned me to think that it is self will. So is it a disease?

barb dwyer

Recovery -

Take a minute and think about the last sober time.
Was there some faking of something going on?
Like -
if you look inside yourself -
isn't there something in there
that you KNOW should be dealt with....

and the time of sobriety was just 'getting away with' not doing that thing?

This is a chance to do it right.
Do it all the way.
Do it .... as your life depended on it.


Don't let yourself get caught up in that -
that whole "oh look how long I have to go"
'I had it so good now I don't"

all that - is drunkthink.
it's only ego pure and simple.

Right here
right now.

Nothing else ... exists.

That dark thing in the past
maybe an action
maybe a lie
maybe something someone else did....

whatever that thig is....

you - become the hunter.
YOU... seek it.
Find it.

And bring it to the light.

You can.

Recovery1983

Yes, I missed many things during the first time around. I never truly worked the 12 steps and I never got a sponsor. I just stopped going to AA and I dont even know how I got to 10 months.

Wolfchild

Why settle for being "fixed" when you could recover?

You tried to do it your way and got what you got,
why not try it the AA way & get different results?

Until we get to the exact nature of our problem,
all we can see are the symptoms of our disease.

Is there a meeting you could go to tonight?

littlefish

It took me a long time to comprehend "one day at a time". And, that was after being in AA for several months.

It wasn't until I was working step 3 that I started to understand.
I thought "one day at a time" meant not drinking one day at a time.

But, while working step 3 I learned that I wasn't just working on changing my drinking habit, I needed to change all my habits.

During step 3 I considered stealing some extra bags of manure at a garden store, and stopped myself, realizing that I have to constantly remember self improvement, in ALL aspects of my life.

Stop stealing ****, for example -

I also reached a deeper understanding of "one day at a time" in terms of changing my perception of the future. As an alcoholic, I typically blew every problem out of proportion and turned it into a crisis, and I imagined all the wreckage of the future as it lay before me.

"One day at a time" has taught me to avoid thinking about the wreckage of the future, because I honestly don't know if the future is going to be a wreck. I learned to identify what problems I had each day, how to prioritize solving them, and how to avoid blowing them entirely out of proportion. Which I always did as an active drinker.

Imagining all the wreckage of the future was a sure way for me to reach for a drink.

Now I push thoughts out of my mind that don't have anything to do with today. I work on the problems and issues I need to deal with just today.

Boleo

Physically, I felt better about 2 weeks after a relapse. Emotionally
I never felt better until after I made a few changes in my attitude towards life. Time had little, if anything, to due with my recovery after about 30 days.

As long as I took the perspective that I was a victim in my recovery I always felt something was missing, as if the glass were half-empty (which was indeed the case).

It was not until I began to see myself as a student in recovery that the glass began to appear half-full. Here lies the difference between humiliation and humility. Humiliation is 100% pain - no gain. Humility is 50% pain - 50% gain.

That is why it takes a daily program of action to feel good about "Not Drinkin".
That is why my signature line says>>>

laurie6781

Along with "One Day At A Time" I had to learn "Keep It Simple Stupid" (KISS).

Early in recovery I was having a very HARD TIME with ODAAT. Almost in stereo my sponsor and her husband said to me at the same time:

"When you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow you are pi**ing on today."

Now somehow that clicked .................... when I was worrying about how I could ever make amends to all those I had hurt and all the 'nasty' things I had done out there while drinking and using, and how in h*ll was I ever going to NOT drink and/or use forever, I was MISSING THE JOYS of today.

When those thoughts would come, I would look out the window, or go outside, look at the trees, watch the birds, watch the ants, and just ENJOY the moment of staying in THE NOW.

I know I like to 'awfulize' about everything if I could/can and by practicing staying in TODAY it did and does become easier.

Stay in THE NOW or staying in TODAY was a very new concept for me, however, as I first WORKED the steps and then with the guidance of my sponsor and her hubby (he too was a recovering alkie) I slowly learned how to LIVE the steps in my daily life.

I am glad you are giving sobriety another try, and it sounds like you are ready to do things a wee bit differently this time, ................................... GOOD FOR YOU.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing, find a sponsor, and throw yourself into those first 164 pages ............................... I do believe you will surprise yourself!

J M H O

Love and hugs,

hps

Instead of thinking of the long road ahead, think about how amazing it is that you are making it through the day, given where you are in sobriety! Don't worry about months ahead just now.

Early days are tough, your brain is trying to get you back on to alcohol as that is what it is used to. And it has to develop new ways (or at least forgotten ways) of coping with emotions and stress. So getting through the day without a drink is really quite an accomplishment for you.

Whilst it may sound trite to say you should deal with the future in the future, there is real truth in that for the recovering alcoholic. Your ability to cope is slowly recovering, so you really will be able to better deal with future problems in the future.

onlythetruth

I may be the only one who has had this experience, but ODAAT hasn't been a helpful concept for me when it comes to drinking. For me, the turning point was when I made a commitment to myself and my family and friends never to drink again, no matter what. I've never lost sight of that lifetime commitment and it has helped me in some dark times to remember that if I drink, I've gone back on my word.

I do live my life one day at a time; I think that's a healthy concept. But for me, abstinence from alcohol isn't a question I want to keep revisiting.

OTT

CarolD

Joe.....
I sure hope your de tox is almost finished.
Treat yourself extra gently....
you have been dealing with a serious medical issue.

Recovery1983

Onlythetruth- I think that is one of the reasons why i'm beating myself so hard. I made that commitment last year after rehab and I truly meant it too. That is why i'm trying to keep this so secretive from my friends and family but at the same time, I just feel so lost without them. The hiding and secrecy is just making me shameful and eating me up inside.

CarolID- Things are getting better in respects to my withdrawals. I'm still getting cold sweats but at least i'm getting more sleep at one time. I went back to the gym today and did some other errands. Lastly, i'm going to a 7pm meeting tonight.

onlythetruth

As I said, ODAAT isn't my thing--maybe the concept will help you more than it did me. For me, once I made the commitment, that closed the door, and no matter how bad things got (and they did), the commitment kept me going.

I've heard other people in the rooms put it crudely by saying, "just don't drink, even if your ass falls off"...and I guess that is what I am trying to say. It may be that I am really not so different from the ODAAT folks. I definitely surrendered to the fact that I cannot drink, never could and never will be able to.

I suppose the bottom line is this: whether we swallow our commitment to sobriety in little pieces (days, or even hours or minutes) or feel more comfortable with big chunks of time, the commitment is part of the process.

OTT