A call for help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Too close to home
Posts: 10
A call for help
I'm new to this whole forum thing, and I'm finally ready to admit my problems after a long night. I've known this was coming for a while, but this was the last straw ...
I'm a 21 year old with a lot of baggage. I've got my career started, but alcohol is already becoming a problem.
I started drinking at around age 16 with a few friends. Always binged. I was a 3.6 GPA student in high school, but once I got to college I started drinking HEAVILY. So heavily that I had to leave my first school, and have begun the process of flunking out of the one I'm at now. I haven't been able to have a solid relationship with a GOOD girl in ages. I've incurred serious debts.
I haven't had a single sober day since I graduated high school 4 years ago. It's gotten so bad recently that I try to fight random people at bars, and always wake up with new cuts and scratches on myself. Last night was the last straw.
I got in a fight (my hand is pretty nicked up), got kicked out of a bar, urinated myself, and went to another bar. Urine and all.
My health is in serious decline, and I need to be healthy for my job. I was discharged from the marine corps for alcohol related instances, but I will not lose my job, my life, and my family this time. I've been reading a lot today, and found this site out of pure happenstance.
Any help on how I can assure myself of sobriety would be greatly appreciated.
I need help. I can finally admit it.
I'm a 21 year old with a lot of baggage. I've got my career started, but alcohol is already becoming a problem.
I started drinking at around age 16 with a few friends. Always binged. I was a 3.6 GPA student in high school, but once I got to college I started drinking HEAVILY. So heavily that I had to leave my first school, and have begun the process of flunking out of the one I'm at now. I haven't been able to have a solid relationship with a GOOD girl in ages. I've incurred serious debts.
I haven't had a single sober day since I graduated high school 4 years ago. It's gotten so bad recently that I try to fight random people at bars, and always wake up with new cuts and scratches on myself. Last night was the last straw.
I got in a fight (my hand is pretty nicked up), got kicked out of a bar, urinated myself, and went to another bar. Urine and all.
My health is in serious decline, and I need to be healthy for my job. I was discharged from the marine corps for alcohol related instances, but I will not lose my job, my life, and my family this time. I've been reading a lot today, and found this site out of pure happenstance.
Any help on how I can assure myself of sobriety would be greatly appreciated.
I need help. I can finally admit it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Too close to home
Posts: 10
I'm not quite sure of the greatest plan ... I told my roommate that he can have my beer and if he catches me drinking to take it from me. Not sure how great that will work though. I surround myself with people that drink almost as much as me. It was so bad with whiskey that I would drink an entire fifth in one night. It became VERY expensive, even when I switched to "Heaven Hill".
What's the best way to go about this? I know I need positive reinforcement, and I hope my friends are understanding.
What's the best way to go about this? I know I need positive reinforcement, and I hope my friends are understanding.
not little, a stranger no more
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: in the crowd
Posts: 410
Hello Lawman, and welcome to SR!
From what you wrote, drinking is getting you in all kinds of trouble, and good that you have decided to do something about your problem now, you are still young and although that is some baggage you are having, it is possible to recover and have many years of sobriety. Left to itself, it will get worse. But you can do something about it and you don't have to go through this alone.
You made one first step, amitting that it has become a serious problem, and writing on this forum, and I'm sure you will find a lot of support here.
But it is also important to get support in real life- if you are still at college/university, you can check out if there is some alcohol counselling available on campus- many schools have some kind of help for those issues and can also give you information on meeting groups and other options. You can also look up meetings in your area.
As alcohol detox can be dangerous, so it is a a good choice to see your doctor and be honest about your alcohol problems, so he/she can assess the situation and give you appropriate medical support. If you have been drinking daily for 4 years, chances are that there will be some kind of withdrawal.
I know this sounds probably a bit overwhelming right now, especially in the state of being hungover and probably shame one feels after a truly embarassing night of drunkenness (I woke up with injuries too on some occasions, from falling, and remember how I felt all too well) but seriously, don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. My first impulse was: "no one can know about this" and "but what happens if I meet someone that I know???", and it actually kept me from seeking appropriate help for quite some time.
From what you wrote, drinking is getting you in all kinds of trouble, and good that you have decided to do something about your problem now, you are still young and although that is some baggage you are having, it is possible to recover and have many years of sobriety. Left to itself, it will get worse. But you can do something about it and you don't have to go through this alone.
You made one first step, amitting that it has become a serious problem, and writing on this forum, and I'm sure you will find a lot of support here.
But it is also important to get support in real life- if you are still at college/university, you can check out if there is some alcohol counselling available on campus- many schools have some kind of help for those issues and can also give you information on meeting groups and other options. You can also look up meetings in your area.
As alcohol detox can be dangerous, so it is a a good choice to see your doctor and be honest about your alcohol problems, so he/she can assess the situation and give you appropriate medical support. If you have been drinking daily for 4 years, chances are that there will be some kind of withdrawal.
I know this sounds probably a bit overwhelming right now, especially in the state of being hungover and probably shame one feels after a truly embarassing night of drunkenness (I woke up with injuries too on some occasions, from falling, and remember how I felt all too well) but seriously, don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. My first impulse was: "no one can know about this" and "but what happens if I meet someone that I know???", and it actually kept me from seeking appropriate help for quite some time.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR and to our Alcoholism Forum....
I agree....it's time to begin your joureny into a
productive healthy future. By stoppeing your drinking
you can do just that. ....
Here are excerpts from the book that convinced me to quit
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
All my best pplease do keep posting
Many of us are winning over alcohol
I agree....it's time to begin your joureny into a
productive healthy future. By stoppeing your drinking
you can do just that. ....
Here are excerpts from the book that convinced me to quit
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
All my best pplease do keep posting
Many of us are winning over alcohol
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,031
Hello Lawman, welcome to SR.
I had to get sick and tired of being sick and tired, not drinking had to be more important than the insanity of picking up again and again.
Sounds like maybe you're ready? This is a great place to start, I hope you'll consider a plan for your recovery. I couldn't do it without AA, but there are other programs out there.
I had to get sick and tired of being sick and tired, not drinking had to be more important than the insanity of picking up again and again.
Sounds like maybe you're ready? This is a great place to start, I hope you'll consider a plan for your recovery. I couldn't do it without AA, but there are other programs out there.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Welcome to SR. You have found a great place for help and support.
Your story actually parallels one of AA's founders, Dr. Bob, fairly closely. He also got kicked out of one college and nearly a second one. AA is the way I keep sober, but there are other groups out there. Read the stickys for this info, and continue to post here.
Are you experiencing any withdrawal symptoms? If so please go see a Dr., alcohol withdrawal can be very serious - as in deadly.
Your story actually parallels one of AA's founders, Dr. Bob, fairly closely. He also got kicked out of one college and nearly a second one. AA is the way I keep sober, but there are other groups out there. Read the stickys for this info, and continue to post here.
Are you experiencing any withdrawal symptoms? If so please go see a Dr., alcohol withdrawal can be very serious - as in deadly.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Too close to home
Posts: 10
I find that I'm smoking heavier without a drink. All I can think about is one more beer, but I know its for the best.
Really? I'll have to look into that a bit. I'm just jittery right now, but I'm sure I'll get over it soon.
I already like this place - I've been reading around the site all day and I know I can do this. Thank you all for the support already.
Originally Posted by dgillz 
Welcome to SR. You have found a great place for help and support.
Your story actually parallels one of AA's founders, Dr. Bob, fairly closely. He also got kicked out of one college and nearly a second one. AA is the way I keep sober, but there are other groups out there. Read the stickys for this info, and continue to post here.
Are you experiencing any withdrawal symptoms? If so please go see a Dr., alcohol withdrawal can be very serious - as in deadly.
Your story actually parallels one of AA's founders, Dr. Bob, fairly closely. He also got kicked out of one college and nearly a second one. AA is the way I keep sober, but there are other groups out there. Read the stickys for this info, and continue to post here.
Are you experiencing any withdrawal symptoms? If so please go see a Dr., alcohol withdrawal can be very serious - as in deadly.
I already like this place - I've been reading around the site all day and I know I can do this. Thank you all for the support already.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: KC MO
Posts: 980
you really do have to want to quit more than you want to drink to succeed. I know that sounds like a no brainer. But if you are like I was, a couple weeks from now or sooner you will be thinking ( ya know things weren't "that bad", I'll just have a couple beers). And before you know what hit you, your crocked and wondering just how it happened. You have to have some sort of defense against those times that sneak up on you.
I did it with AA. If you are an alcoholic, this is very hard to do on your own. It's also harder to do it living, and hanging out with people that drink. Thats why I failed at trying to quit 20 years ago. I didn't want to let go of people I thought were my friends. So I kept at it till about a year ago.
I sure do wish I would have quit when I was your age though. You are already realizing what this costs. Just do the math for the future. It adds up quickly both money and healthwise.
I wish you the best.
Fred
I did it with AA. If you are an alcoholic, this is very hard to do on your own. It's also harder to do it living, and hanging out with people that drink. Thats why I failed at trying to quit 20 years ago. I didn't want to let go of people I thought were my friends. So I kept at it till about a year ago.
I sure do wish I would have quit when I was your age though. You are already realizing what this costs. Just do the math for the future. It adds up quickly both money and healthwise.
I wish you the best.
Fred
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 261
Hello Law. That is great that you are ready to put the bottle down. I am currently in the first 24-48 hours since my last drink and the withdrawal symptoms are pretty bad. I was on a mini binge from Saturday to Tuesday. If you have been drinking that much for the last 4 years and almost everyday, I would suggest that you talk to a doctor. The withdrawals are pretty bad and from what I have read, some are fatal.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Too close to home
Posts: 10
Well it's only been about 36 hours since my last drink, and I'm not doing too great. I had to pour out all of the beer I had, then contemplated going buy more. I'm staying strong because I know I need this. I've been shaking pretty bad all day, and I'm kind of jumpy. Not liking this.
I was talking to one of my ex girlfriends last night, mostly apologizing for how I was (I was a mean, vindictive sucker), and she was greatly supportive. There is a party coming up (one of my friends is turning 22)that I wasn't going to go to because they are going to have kegs a plenty, but she said she would stay sober with me. She had to go through this with her dad, and then me. After talking about how I was, I realized just how badly I MUST stick to this...
I'm also contemplating transferring departments and schools to get out of this state and start fresh, possibly with her. We'll see how this all goes.
I realize I've been hurting people and pushing them away. I can do this.
I was talking to one of my ex girlfriends last night, mostly apologizing for how I was (I was a mean, vindictive sucker), and she was greatly supportive. There is a party coming up (one of my friends is turning 22)that I wasn't going to go to because they are going to have kegs a plenty, but she said she would stay sober with me. She had to go through this with her dad, and then me. After talking about how I was, I realized just how badly I MUST stick to this...
I'm also contemplating transferring departments and schools to get out of this state and start fresh, possibly with her. We'll see how this all goes.
I realize I've been hurting people and pushing them away. I can do this.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
welcome to SR Lawman....I think you are taking the first step (it was hard for me too and I am much older with a lot more drinking years to my *credit*).
I'm on "Sober Day 17", the first 5-6 were the hardest, but my head gets a little more clear every day...
If you think it might be easier, can you get away from the friends/roommates with booze for a few days? maybe go to a more quiet environment where there is no temptation? it might make it easier to keep your resolve.
I'm on "Sober Day 17", the first 5-6 were the hardest, but my head gets a little more clear every day...
If you think it might be easier, can you get away from the friends/roommates with booze for a few days? maybe go to a more quiet environment where there is no temptation? it might make it easier to keep your resolve.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Too close to home
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Fandy
welcome to SR Lawman....I think you are taking the first step (it was hard for me too and I am much older with a lot more drinking years to my *credit*).
I'm on "Sober Day 17", the first 5-6 were the hardest, but my head gets a little more clear every day...
If you think it might be easier, can you get away from the friends/roommates with booze for a few days? maybe go to a more quiet environment where there is no temptation? it might make it easier to keep your resolve.
I'm on "Sober Day 17", the first 5-6 were the hardest, but my head gets a little more clear every day...
If you think it might be easier, can you get away from the friends/roommates with booze for a few days? maybe go to a more quiet environment where there is no temptation? it might make it easier to keep your resolve.
I have gotten so bad recently that my fund for buying a house is all gone. I'll be stuck in this apartment for a bit longer.
My roommate wasn't nearly as supportive last night as he should have been. He found out I was quitting the sauce, and tried to force a drink upon me. Then told some of my other friends, and they all came over and drank. So I locked my room, and cruised this site all night.
I will not fail.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Newfoundland
Posts: 145
Bottom line....
If your roomates and so called friends tried to force drinks on you....they are not your friends........bottom line. Friends want to see you succeed and be the best person you can be......they dont set you up to fail. You keep your chin up and do what you need to do to get well......
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,385
Hey Law, welcome to SR. We all have our own unique plan for sobriety. You need to find one that works for you. One thing I've learned though is that there is abstinence and then there is true sobriety. To me they're not the same thing. I now know that in order for me to truly be living in sobriety that I need to work on more than not drinking. Not drinking is just a part of my recovery. There's so much more that I need to work on.
You're just starting recovery again. I am as well. This time around though I am going through the twelve steps. It sounds like you're headed in this direction so keep going that way. From what I've heard, it works, but you gotta really work it. You gotta really want it more than anything, true sobriety.
I don't subscribe to the idea of moving out of state or any of that other stuff you mentioned. I think that just beckons to the problem being outside of you when it is really inside of you. It's kinda like pouring poison from one cup to another because the first cup was dirty. You might have a cleaner cup but you still have the poison.
You're just starting recovery again. I am as well. This time around though I am going through the twelve steps. It sounds like you're headed in this direction so keep going that way. From what I've heard, it works, but you gotta really work it. You gotta really want it more than anything, true sobriety.
I don't subscribe to the idea of moving out of state or any of that other stuff you mentioned. I think that just beckons to the problem being outside of you when it is really inside of you. It's kinda like pouring poison from one cup to another because the first cup was dirty. You might have a cleaner cup but you still have the poison.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Too close to home
Posts: 10
@KenL: Yes, moving out of state may be extreme, and it's probably not the best way to go about it. However; I used to live out in the country, and I'd like to do that again. Small town with no bars in bible belt country. I don't know, I'm just lost right now, lol.
@shantra: These people are terrible friends, and they're going nowhere in life. Some are jobless, college dropouts, and all drink till they pass out. Not a good place for me to be. I'm surprised how supportive other friends of mine have been, especially how I used to act.
@shantra: These people are terrible friends, and they're going nowhere in life. Some are jobless, college dropouts, and all drink till they pass out. Not a good place for me to be. I'm surprised how supportive other friends of mine have been, especially how I used to act.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
yes, your roommates aren't turning out to be true friends and as you are sober longer, you will have less in common with them.....them trying to set you up to fail is immature, unkind and cruel.
you might be surprised at yourself that you might not even enjoy the keg party and watching everyone get snockered....and you and your GF can leave anytime and do something better and more fun.....sober....
think of all the extra cash and less debt you will have from not buying booze....you can start up your housing fund again too!
there are a lot more positives to discover, I'm just saying.......good luck!!
you might be surprised at yourself that you might not even enjoy the keg party and watching everyone get snockered....and you and your GF can leave anytime and do something better and more fun.....sober....
think of all the extra cash and less debt you will have from not buying booze....you can start up your housing fund again too!
there are a lot more positives to discover, I'm just saying.......good luck!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Lawman, I don't know what to say about the move plans specifically, but I guess you have to put yourself in the context that is going to work for you. (I mean the country part, not the roommates you described.) If you think that being without alcohol is the foundation, then that is sounding good. I am rooting for you.
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