shantra32

Does anyone ever worry about this? I have been in knots for two days obsessing about three mistakes I made last summer in my drunken stupors. I'm petrified to get tested............I hate this part of recovery.........oh my....I am in a loving relationship now and I keep fearing that my past is going to haunt me forever.......

suki44883

Go get tested. Not knowing doesn't mean that you didn't catch something. Early detection is always best.

DanielP

A few mistakes sexual and otherwise, yes. There's nothing like the peace of mind of getting tested and knowing one way or the other. The blood tests are quick and easy, relatively painless--if you don't want to use your regular doctor try the county health clinic. Chances are you're clean. If not, you'll get a prescription to clear things up.

"Normal" people make their fair share of mistakes too. Don't beat yourself up over it.

shantra32

It's not the things that can be cleared up with a prescription that I am afraid of............I am gonna go on Monday but the waiting game is the worst........the absolute worst.

Stereosteveo

Yeah, been there done that. I was 21. Actually took a traveling stripper home. She was like 19, and had ran away from home in Ohio. I know, it really was a fantasy story...Anyway, we had a blast of course. Then as I was taking her back to the strip club the next night she told me she had shot up coke for the first time with the other girls there. This was like 18 years ago, when HIV was all over the news. I didn't think much at first, but as time went on it really started to eat at me. So I finally went to the county health clinic. They drew like a large cigar vile's worth of blood for some reason. I almost passed out. Never did like needles, still don't, thank God. It took 2 weeks to get the results. Longest 2 weeks ever!! When they came in I remember I had to do a short counseling session before the guy would tell me the results. He showed me on a whatcha-ma-callit how to put on a prophyllactic, etc. and gave me a big long speech about all sorts of kinky sex and why I should not participate in it.. I remember he was in AA because he told me that he goes bowling with a group of people who don't drink anymore, they still laugh and have fun. He said I could go with them. I thought he was nuts, or a pervert or something.

I never felt so free as I did walking out of there. But it was "really" time to party then is all I could think of. I was more careful after that, but because I've never had any control over alcohol and where it takes me whats-so-ever, I still had my worries from time to time. i.e. That whole experience didn't stop me.

Chances are you're just fine. Glad you're going Monday. Your mind will be glad for it. I know what you are going thru.

Texasblind

Go get tested. I think all of us did some stupid stuff sexually when we were using. Get tested.

littlebluedog

Of course you should get tested. For yourself and your partner. Once the results are back, regardless of the outcome, you'll be able to move on with your life and take care of yourself. I could never use alcohol responsibly, and did equally irresponsible things under the influence. But you never have to put yourself through all this grief again.

legaleagle

Thanks for posting this. I am having the same issues Shantra. Buti have many more mistakes and haven't gotten tested in a long time because i am scared. i'm not involved with anyone right now so i keep telling myself that I'm not hurting anyone else so its fine. i know its not but i'm scared.

Dee74

If there is a problem early detection is always preferable.
If there's not - and that's probably the likelihood - then you get peace of mind

Please - anyone in this situation - go get tested.
D

shantra32

I have an appointment made for Monday.......just soo nerve wracking......honestly................this is ridiculous..........

Clutch B

I tend to worry. ALOT. I spend all this time worrying myself sick. Literally sick!

But one thing I've noticed, is that things never turn out as bad as I fear they will.

All that time wasted ... all that emotional energy spent ... for nothing!

Don't wallow in something that can turn out to be nothing. You don't deserve to be miserable.

CarolD

Hmm....
after I passed all the tests....
I met a man...attraction was there.
we were heading into a love affair.

Only....after
He too got tested and passed.
Yes....we read each others results.....

Had a grand time for 5 or so years...

aqua4017

Definitely get tested. I know how you feel-I had a summer of drunken mistakes and I finally went to get tested, almost cried in the waiting room because I was so nervous, and everything turned out negative.

Ironically, immediately after this, I fell head over heels for this guy (while sober) and within 3 weeks contracted chlamydia. I was devastated, cried for days, wondered why this kind of thing happened while SOBER, which drove me to drink again. We broke up a year later (due to my drinking). Also, my current bf gave me scabies (not sure if that counts as an STD). This was also while sober. Sorry if this is TMI!!!

I guess I just wanted you to know if you do have something, you're not alone.

Lionne

Glad you made an appointment, it is the right decision to get tested. I
think many of us have been there....it is important so that you can put these past things behind you. It's way better then worrying and not knowing for sure. I remember how fast my heart was beating when I got the results....and the relief when everything was fine...andf IU knew thatb in case there would have been a problem I would have been able to take care of it.

Another reason why this is the right thing to do...there is another person involved.

That said, chances are that the results will come back negative, and things will turn out alright. And that you can be proud that you have gotten past another hurdle.

55438

Most of my adult life has been sober but I always got tested before and after boyfriends. I made them get tested too. IMHO it is sex and it is part of what people do. Stay safe.

55438

shantra32

thanks everyone for your support........

Fluffhead72

2 assaults (on me) (1 resulting in pregnancy)

1 STD

Innumerable 1 night stands, embarrasment, walks of shame

shantra32

and so the waiting game begins.............damn...

Stereosteveo

Good job Shantra!

Now you've done all you can do.

I would try not to worry. I know easier said than done. I like to worry sometimes because of the false sense of control it gives me.

melodiez

been there done that!!!