bmwcycle

I have about two week sober this time, had about two weeks last time and slowly relpased, started with a glass of wine at dinner, then went out for a few a couple of day later, and then black out drunk the next time. I know sounds like the movie Groundhog Day.

But here I am again thinking if I go to happy hour and just have a few it won't be ab issue. I have done it before, this time is it woun't happen.....

Need some tips and pointers,

I do not have a choice I must attend I am part owner of the company and am in charge of business development. Both sales people and clients will be there, I am expected to be the life of the party, from past actions.

Do not want to drink, must stay strong.

CarolD

Welcome back....

You keep doing what you do and keep getting
the same results. It's just not working out
to your benefit....

If you were ill with a stomach virus...would the
party go on without you? Of course it would.

If you are an alcoholic...you are heading into
more problems down the road.
I sure hope you find a way to quit drinking.

Wolfchild

What spiritual defensives have you developed to help you to not take that first drink? The "Life of the party" rationalization to continue drinking and doing harm to myself kept me stuck for years. Each time i thought i needed to outdo myself with something more outrageous than before. Sure, it was somewhat fun to be the center of attention, to have everyone focusing on me for awhile. It gave me some type of purpose to try and feel good about myself for awhile. Problem was, alcoholism was taking away my ability to find pleasure in just getting a buzz and "acting like a normal drunk". It wasn't until those people who would invite me to their parties, for the entertainment value, stopped having me over that i realized i had become a trainwreck in slow motion. Even i had ceased enjoying what i was doing. My 'solution' was to drink more to escape the painful awareness of what was going on and my inability to stop.

That's why i sought help in AA. i couldn't live with myself, or my disease, any longer.
Working the 12 Steps of the program helped me to heal the damage i did to myself and others.

i hope you will not delude yourself into thinking drinking makes you someone others want you to be. i pray that you will find the willingness to reach out for help with your hearts desire and take action with it. Please be realistic, you can't base your life on what other people expect you to do. You must live your own life!

Mark75

So you feel obligated not just to be there, but to be the entertainment...

Step back from yourself a little bit. Are you so important in the role of "life of the party" that the others will have a bad time if you aren't? Maybe by always being the life of the party, you interfere with others who may be qualified, and willing, to take that job?

Since you are part owner, I assume you are also the host... concentrate on being a good host, not the class clown... facilitate others to get involved in talk... let them talk about themselves, their families, their plans, hopes and dreams... If you are interested in them, and show it, you'll be surprised at the response.

Maybe you aren't ready for this, but it's wonderful to not be the center of the universe... to celebrate others, to share in their success and disappointments... After all, if you are the boss, aren't they yours too.

And always remember .... It ain't all about you!

By the way... good luck tonight. I too, am part owner of a business... and that first christmas party back in '08 when I was in early sobriety was tough... so don't think I'm being judgmental... I've been there, brother... My suggestions are what have worked for me.

Mark

bmwcycle

I am thankful for all of the support and insight. I do not plan to drink this evening, but was questioning my self and need the support. It is reasuring that I am going through something that the posters have been throught and have overcome.

I know that I am the boss and that I should be able to overcome this situation and no one would question my motives or actions( except for me, and that is where the problem lies, within me not them).

It is interesting how clever Alcohol is, as the days go by the "urge" to drink is not as compelling as the thought or idea of "why not just have one" or "what is the big deal" I guess I have never been an all or nothing guy, or should I say I never thought of myself as one but my actions have given me no other choice.

No matter how clever Alcohol is the people here prove to be quite a match and I am thankful you all are on my side. I hope I can be there for others and in time and provide the advice and guidance.

I will give an update later this evening, as I am watching the Canada and Russians play hockey, sober with my son by my side,


"The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death."

Mark75

It's good to have you aboard bimmer!! I'll look for your update, enjoy the hockey game...

CAPTAINZING2000

i have been known to say, I'm not allowed to drink Dr's. orders. Thank you very much Dr. Bob

serenityqueen

"ONE IS TOO MANY & A THOUSAND IS NEVER ENOUGH!

If I were you, I wouldn't even go. Why tempt yourself? As the Boss, I don't think you would owe anyone an explanation as to why you don't go. If someone was persistent, just tell them you're spending the evening with your son. I know I'd much rather do that then go watch people spend ridiculous amts of money thinking that they must drink in order to have a good time.

I'll be looking for your "update" later on.

God Bless,
Judy

bmwcycle

No worries at all. I didn't drink and was not an issue. Will write more later, watching the game with family,

thanks again for the kind words,

bmwcycle

Have learned alot in the past week. It is amazing what you learn when you are not drinking.

WE have another happy hour tonight to celebrate a goal reached by the company. I plan to attend and leave early. I spoke to some of my employees after the happy hour last week and they expressed how in the past I over step my bounds during these events, in my drunk haze trying to fit in with them on a peer level. I am 15 years older than them, they don't want to hang out with me all night and listen to my drunken tales, it made me look like a stupid and desperate. The worst part is that some confessed to me that my attitude and actions compelled them to try to keep up with me, just to fit in. What an ass I was, well still am but at least now I realize.

thanks again for all the insight.....



I plan to show up, congratulate them, toast them with club soda, then leave and go home a hang with my family.

Mark75

That was kinda me... wanting to fit in and run with the young ones, fit in at a peer level... and yea, end up making an a$$ of myself...

This journey of recovery for me has included a bit of growing up ... It's liberating in a way, I don't have to be something, someone, I am not. I can learn who I really am.

Good for you man! Have a good time with your staff!

Mark

bmwcycle

Thanks Mark.

I know I have a lot of growing up to do, and I am fearful and excited about the process..

CarolD

Wow!
I'm glad to know you are moving forward...

JohnnyZ

In my manufacturing supervisor/manager days, I also had mostly younger employees working under me. Since I'm considered a well-liked person, I'd always be invited to the after work get-togethers. And, I'd get smashed like everyone else. I'm no longer in management, but I still have lots of friends from the past, even the younger ones, and we still meet up a lot after work. But, no more booze for me. I have a feeling of greater respect from everyone and I hope that the younger ones especially follow my lead except much sooner in their lives...

Taking5

This is the coolest thing I have read/heard all day about recovery and besides being here I have already been to 2 AA meetings.