flarngus

I, unfortunately, had to move back in with my parents about a year ago. I was able to clean up my act and be sober again. I was proud to be sober for almost a year, but then the unfortunate thing had to happen...moving back into a household where alcoholism is common. So, therefore, I began to drink with him.

I could not resist the temptation. I had, maybe, one beer and wound up drinking almost a full case. Because of him, I started drinking again. Now I want to stop drinking, but cannot.

I told him to go to AA, but he won't. He has been baker/marchmen acted (for those of you who live in FL), but it doesn't do him any good. It's not like I can put him in a living facility, so what do I do?

Nothing I can do at this point (since I HAVE to live with my parents), but there most be something.

I hate hate HATE living with this *******, but is there anything I can do to get him to stop drinking?

EDIT: I can be contacted via AIM, so please send me a message, screenname FLARNGUS. Thank you.

Dee74

Welcome Flarngus

It's possible to stay sober living with people who drink.

I've seen it here time and again, with husbanss, wives, roommates...and parents...I know people here who work in hotels, and liquor stores - some even tend bar.

So it's not impossible...and you shouldn't believe for a second that it is.
But you'll need to be totally committed and prepared for an almighty lot of work.

All that being said, I wouldn't put myself in that position for a second - I'm not sure why you 'HAVE' to stay there, but if there is any way of moving out....I'd take it.

If not...what your father does is up to him.

And what you do for yourself is entirely down to you...take yr own advice...get to AA, find a sponsor and work that programme to the hilt.

D

Fubarcdn

I find it interesting that you are blaming your current drinking on your father.

It is his house and if he doesn't think he has a drinking problem then maybe he doesn't.

Only you are responsible for your own drinking. Nobody else can make you drink.

I agree with Dee that you should take your own advice and get to AA. After all you are the one with the drinking problem.

suki44883

I hate hate HATE living with this *******, but is there anything I can do to get him to stop drinking?

No, there is nothing you can do to get him to stop drinking, but, you do have total control over YOUR drinking. Sorry, but I'm gonna have to call BS on your claim that it's your father's fault that you started drinking again. No one can make you drink. Sure, living in a house with a drinker makes it much harder to stay sober, but that's the time you have to kick it up a notch and either go to more AA meetings, work those steps, or do whatever is necessary to not pick up. If you managed to make it almost a year without AA, while living on your own, perhaps you need that face-to-face support now that you are living in your current situation. It's up to you. Stop trying to get your father to change. Work on changing yourself!

CarolD

Welcome back....

Here is your earlier post from 6-08
Still good advice and with phone numbers too.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post1807109

Also you find local Alanon meetings to help you deal
with your Dads situation.

However....your own sobriety must be your priory.
I sure hope you will take care of yourself first...

flarngus

Thanks for your help, but, it's over. I'm going to continue drinking to keep the peace in this family. My mother obviously doesn't care, and my father just keeps on drinking. In fact, he just bought 8 cases of beer today.

And, what can I do about my father? Not a damn thing. He's a lost cause, as well as me.

I'm powerless. Even though I've had problems with him the past, there's nothing I can do about it.

So, therefore, I conclude my message. There is no escaping it.

cindy10

Sorry you are giving up so easily, there are other options!

KenL

I suspect that thinking of yourself in those terms isn't caused just by alcohol. For me I had to realize that I was/am carrying around a stone in my gut that holds all sorts of negative stuff. You know, stuff like; resentment, self-pity, loneliness, blame, anger, hopelessness, self-loathing and hatred. I am trying to work on those things so that I can be a healthier person. It's not easy. Identifying it is hard and accepting it must be ongoing. I thought I had it all figured out last year but I didn't. Negative stuff like I mentioned didn't just go away when I stopped drinking. I just stuffed it into a different place. It came back, though. I started drinking again to escape it. I'm trying to deal with it in a better way now by confronting it and resolving it so that when stuff gets in my face again I can deal and not deny. Again, it's not easy, but it has to be done in order for me to be the man I want to be.

Oh, by the way. You are your own person. You are not your father.