debs

Been awhile since I checked in...

Im still battling my demons...

I have good weeks... good months... bad weeks, bad months.......

Just happened to run across this vid...

YouTube - drinking again (lyrics on screen)

Wondered if anybody else could relate?

Hope you all are doing well... God bless each and every one of you.

We didnt choose this.

CarolD

You must be exhausted with the up and down
road you are traveling.....

Hope you can soon find your way into peace
with a healthy future.

debs

Understatement.

debs

That said, Im so grateful to have you that have been there........ and recovered...

Youre more of an inspiration than you could ever imagine.

Those of you that really do stop... forever...

Give those of us that are trying so hard to do just that........

So much hope..

So thank you for that..

Dee74

I'm always glad to see you back Debs.
I really hope you decide enough is enough soon

D

debs

But every time I quit its because Ive decided enough is enough..............

Its about staying quit....... that causes my problem.

Lenina

debs,

I understand that. I needed a plan to stay quit. Have you looked into Rational Recovery? I use a mix of that and AA. It helps me a lot.

Love,

Lenina

yeahgr8

Hi good to see you back:-)

Most of us have to go way, way down into the pits of living hell before getting recovery, some of us don't...hope you are one of them! Keep coming back!

debs

Me too

debs

Dont know anything about it but Im willing to try pretty much anything...

Lionne

Hi debs it's good to hear from you...you're always welcome
...I'm sorry that you are struggling at some points and I also think it's a sign of great fortitude on your part that you are not giving up. There is hope
Your signature says it all, success is within reach and you will succeed.

Maybe there are either some elements missing that you need to add to your recovery plan, or maybe there are some things you need to get rid of for long time sobriety to work for you. Looking at your previous experiences can help identifying these things, and that way you could draw positive things out of them.

least

I hope you can find a way that suits you and that you can get off the merry go round soon. It's no way to live, I know that from sad experience.

FBL

Always good to see you back here, Debs. We joined here right around the same time last year. I'm closing in on eight months sober...something this alcoholic never thought possible. I had to dig down deep, do a lot of soul searching and really had to change some things about myself before I could even hope to get better. I hope that you can soon find the peace of mind that true recovery can bring.

debs

Thanks friends... yall always have a way of making me feel better even when everything sucks.

keithj

Hey, debs, good to see you still posting. This thing is a tricky beast for sure.

That's the whole deal, debs. Quitting is relatively easy. The main problem centers in our mind. We get bored, restless, dissatisfied with life. And that alcoholic mind finds a way of having a drink make sense. That insanity of the first drink comes on, and we're off again. I repeated that over and over.

Just like the BB says, I had to have a complete psychic change in order to stop repeating that, in order to recover. You know the directions for having that change are laid out in that book.

If you're willing and ready to go to any lengths, get a hold of Dara at [email protected] She's in Dallas, but I'd bet she knows somebody up your way who can lead you by the hand through the Steps. I've never seen it fail.

Astro

Nice to see you again debs, you're always in our prayers. I agree that it's very difficult to quit and stay that way, I tried countless times over 27 years.

Suffering is optional. It took me a long time to understand that too, but some days that's my mantra for living. This deal only works if I work it and stay focused on it.

Sending hugs, and a few more prayers for your safety and happiness

sunrise1

Debs, you're always welcome here... sending good vibes your way.

MNGirlyGirl

I'm glad you're back and wish you peace. Remember, we do have a choice -- not to pick up today. I know your pain. I'm back at day 3 after a very long relapse.

Wolfchild

Welcome back, nice to see you posting again!!

keithj

I'm mindful that this is not the 12 Step forum, but I suffered from this delusion for a long time. The start of my recovery was in knowing deep in my heart that I was absolutely going to pick up again, despite my most sincere and strongest desire not to. That realization opened the door to a lifetime of recovery for me.

I see your join date and your inability to get sober, and I wonder if maybe that delusion of choice is an idea that has outgrown it's usefulness. If you have the power of choice, then just choose not to drink. Something to consider.