MNGirlyGirl

Good point Keithj. Look at me, who can't stay sober, telling someone "just don't pick up". Back to step one. You gave me a lot of food for thought.

debs

And here I am drunk again.

What the **** gives.

Dee74

I wish it was possible for one of us to help you over to my/our side of the street Debs, but you have to make the walk yourself...

we can give you all our own personal roadmaps....but you have to open the maps and use them yourself.

You're not alone - but you have to take all this advice...and do something with it.

I know all this - because I've been you.

You have to do something, Debs - besides drinking.
D

keithj

Debs,

Logically, you know you're powerless over booze. All the evidence is there from your past few months of trying to not drink, but still being drunk. But this thing doesn't work by logic. Rational arguments can be reasoned away.

So many of us have been right where you are, and we have recovered. It's possible for you as well, provided you take action. I was given the gift of desperation when I got sober. That desperation propelled me to do all the things I didn't want to do.

Consider this, Debs, what if you don't beat this thing? What if you spend years doing the same thing you are doing right now, locked into that misery, with life getting ever worse? It's not a scare tactic, but a reality for the chronic alcoholic. Being convinced of that reality got me to feel that powerlessness at a heart level, instead of intellectually knowing it in my head. I knew I was going to keep drinking and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

It opened the doorway to hope for me. I saw others who had been there, who had experienced that same hopelessness, and they had recovered from it. They were happy and facing life successfully. They showed me what they had done, straight out of the Big Book. I didn't believe it would work for me, but I couldn't imagine going on living like I was.

Did I believe a higher power could keep me sober? Hell no I didn't, but I was willing to believe if that's what it took. That was a length I had to go to. And then I had to turn my will over to that power I didn't believe in. That was another length. I only did it because the alternative (to go on like I was) was unbearable.

debs

Thanks for all the kind words ...

Especially since Im the epitomy of a broken record!

Im sober again, for the record........... felt like **** all day as you can imagine..

But Im gonna give it (yet again!) another go..

Thanks for not giving up on me.

Lenina

debs,

If AA isn't clicking with you, you might want to check out Rational Recovery. It helped me a lot. Don't give up! SMART is another option you could check out but maybe you need more face to face support. AA is really good for that.

Love,

Lenina

DayWalker

Your not beat unless you give up trying Debs. Tomorrow is a new day, you'll find what works for you. Glad your back.

Steve