DayWalker

Hey guys got a question. I'm about 10 days into not drinking this go round after messing up back in the fall. Doing "okay" but I know I need some sort of Program or its just gonna be a matter of time till I go back to my old ways again.

I have nothing against AA at all so please dont anyone take it that I don't like AA. I have been to many AA meetings and worked the program for awhile and it was very helpful, But...I did have a few bad experiances with AA and really I honestly "fight" some of the things that do in the steps (just being honest). So anyway...I know I need some sort of program because I know I can get sober on my own, but I cant Stay sober on my own. So a friend of mine that started with AA and has about 21 yrs sober talked to me last week and said he now goes to "celebrate recovery" meetings. Is anyone here familiar with that type of group and could share what it's actually about with me?

Thanks

Steve

Sugah

I have a sponsee who did CR in addition to AA. Using both worked well for her. Celebrate Recovery is a scaled-back version of the steps (I think they have 9 steps instead of 12) and is Christian in nature.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

ANGELINA243

I attend Celebrate Recovery. They use the 12 steps and 8 principles (which are based on the Beatitudes)>basically we all meet together for worship and listen to a speaker/a member give their testimony. Then we all break off into smaller groups either open group or closed group. The small groups are men with men in one room and women with women in another room. You attend open group for a while then are eventually placed into a closed group..(a step study group)--mine has about 12 women in it. It is a Christ based recovery program.

CarolD

Hi Steve.....

Here is a link to their site

http://www.celebraterecovery.com/

I'm glad you are thinking about CR
tho I have no experience with it.

jcfollower

Hooray Steve! Celebrate Recovery is awesome.

I was a small group leader for 1 1/2 yrs, and it was life-changing. Read John Baker's "Life's Healing Choices"--he helped develop the recovery program, and his book is an excellent read even if you choose not to participate in CR.

Best wishes,

jc

yeahgr8

Steve which bits of the AA steps do you fight, have you checked out the link Carol posted...interested to see what you think? I'll check out that book jcfollower, thanks:-)

DayWalker

Thanks guys appreciate the info.

yeahgr8... better question is which steps didn't I fight lol

Like I said please don't get me wrong because AA DID help me to get sober and have 6 yrs of sobriety back around 2000. But here's some of the problems I had, and if I'm wrong (which I may be) then I'm open to hearing thoughts of this for sure.

One thing which always bugged me was anytime I had a thought of drinking my sponsor or close friends in AA always said " One day at a time" or "just don't take the first drink".

I know what that means and I do know the meaning behind those sayings, but the way I felt was when I really needed someone to pull aside and actually talk to me, all I got from them was cliches that should have been stiched on a pillow somewhere. I don't mean any disrespect at all by that but do you understand what I mean? I just never felt like guys actually felt like really talking to me.

Far as the steps.... Some of the steps did in fact help me, but some just seemed like they were redundant and useless. We worked up to step 5 with me when I was working the program. When myself, sponsor and 2 other close AA friends did my fifth step that was actually what put me off the program more than anything. Because first off...and I know this won't sound right, but I know how bad of a person I was when I was drinking, so how does telling others help me besides making me feel worse about how bad I was? and secondly, when we did my fifth step...the guys (including my sponsor) pretty much said "this is stuff we all did so no big deal". It kind'a made me feel like my fifth step was pointless to be honest.

Maybe the guys I was with in AA just didn't do it properly with me, but the whole thing just really gave me a bad taste toward the group and I never went past the fifth step because of that.

Like I said though please don't think I'm putting down AA or the 12 step program because I'm not doing that at all. I think it's a great program and has helped tons of people, and actually helped me for a long time. But I'm just trying to find a program that I feel comfortable with now that may help me is all.

But like I said I'm 100% open to hearing anything, and if the guys I was in AA with didn't know what they were doing or help me in the right way then I'm open to hearing about that and would certianly not rule out going back to a "good' AA group.

Steve

yeahgr8

Just my experience here Steve.

I went to AA a couple of times before 12 step rehab and was told to keep coming back, one day at a time and didn't like it, i couldn't get anyone to explain to me what i would get out of the steps, what the point was etc. I went to rehab and want back out there then went to AA with a different view and that was i don't care to know about anything i want you to show me how to work these steps so i can be sober like you for the next 24 years...ill do anything...and that worked very well and continues to do so.

In the first couple of months i noticed my sponsor would have very brief convos with newcomes and use the catch phrases and i pulled him up one day and said why dont you want to help these people, why don't you spend time with them talking about AA, general stuff and their lives...he said well why don't you if you want to, you can help them more than i can as you are closer to where they are at the moment, you are working the steps and can convince them to do the same (he said this with a wry smile)...so i did, i sat through hours of coffees with lots of different people saying how much the steps were working for me and what i was doing etc...not one of them got a sponsor and not one of them seemed to understand anything i was saying, they did most of the talking and it was all babbling rubbish...i then realised that i was talking to myself before i did the steps, the guy that was totally self obsessed, always right and totally insane! So i say now keep coming back too.

However after about 4 months in AA, i had finished all the steps and the promises were definitely coming true for, i now had people coming up to me and asking me to tell them what i was doing as they wanted some of it, i even had a guy ask me if i could sponsor him?! (i, of course, passed him onto my sponsor). So i understood the phrase attraction rather than promotion after all that! I think you'll have much the same experience if you go back and do all the steps, my sponsor seemed to indicate that almost everyone goes through this stage, you know wanting to tell everyone whats what and enlightening people then finding it doesnt work that way and ok keep coming back:-)

When i did step 5 i was sure that i was the absolute worst person that had ever been born onto this planet, no-one was more ashamed or damning of myself than me. I felt i didn't deserve to be alive let alone get sober or even have this guy willing to help me?! It turned out that i wwas wrong about a lot of stuff and my sponsor clearly explained to me that a lot of the stuff that i thought was absolutely terrible was not, he did it in a way that made absolute sense to me and explaineed everything...i of course asked him queestions as we went through and it took 6 hours to do the step 5 in one go.

My advice would be to go back to AA and get a new sponsor, work the steps again from the start with the new guy and do it as quickly as ppossible and to the best of your ability, remember you have to get to step 9 to get the promises so the quicker you work them the quicker you will get what you are looking for. Every step is in order and there for a reason, the promises don't come true until half way through step 9 so if you never got to that step then that will explain why you didn't get what you are looking for...

Hope that helps in some way:-)

cheers

Cliff

ps you may get other on SR saying that why got back to step 1 again when you have already done step 5, i would ignore this advice as it assumes that the groundwork you have done with your previous sponsor is solid and clearly this is not the case given your current situation...any sane non-guru can see that;-)

jcfollower

Hmmm...Step 5...just mho, but you know the saying, "you're only as sick as your secrets"? Confession can be cathartic. For me, bringing my poor choices, along with the ensuing pain I had inflicted upon myself and others, out of the cover of darkness, where they were eating away at my peace of mind and joy in life, and out into the open, before my God, my sponsor, and CR friends who did not reject me, judge me, or try to fix me. They just loved me right where I was. Living in this "light" of transparency and truth brings tremendous relief and freedom for me now. Take what you will, toss the rest.

jc

DayWalker

Cliff I just wanted to say thanks for the above reply. I've read it a couple times and it makes a lot of sence. Looking at it from what you just said about why many guys will just kind'a use the well worn cliches then it does make sence as to why they do that. Guess I maybe just wasn't looking at it from that perspective.

Really do appreciate the reply thanks.

Steve