Self-awareness when blacked out
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 50
Well, I'm not sure I even want to post in this thread simply because I'm so ashamed of my own behavior when blacked out, but frankly I have a whole lot of experience in this department. Unfortunately.
My own experience with blackouts is very bad. I've been had them since I was a teenager. The last year of my drinking I blackedout almost every single night. Sometimes I didn't do anything out of the ordinary, and sometimes I went completely insane. I've said and done really bad things that are completely out of character for me. I've also been super nice and happy. I will sometimes switch between the moods during the same blackout and be happy one minute, then mad, then crying, and then happy again. I've driven my car and "woke up" in the ditch.. yeah, blackouts for me have been totally unpredictable and crazy and absolutely the most frightening thing I've ever experienced.
I am not actually sure if I have any control over my behavior while I'm like that or not, to be honest. I do however think that I am responsible for that behavior regardless, because I know I'm unpredictable when I drink -so if I drink I'm responsible for the consequences.
I remember the first blackout I had. I pretty much was like you. My friends were telling me things I had done, and I wasn't sure if they were making it up or not. It isn't a good feeling. My advise is to quit while your ahead. It won't get better and it will probably get a whole lot worse.
My own experience with blackouts is very bad. I've been had them since I was a teenager. The last year of my drinking I blackedout almost every single night. Sometimes I didn't do anything out of the ordinary, and sometimes I went completely insane. I've said and done really bad things that are completely out of character for me. I've also been super nice and happy. I will sometimes switch between the moods during the same blackout and be happy one minute, then mad, then crying, and then happy again. I've driven my car and "woke up" in the ditch.. yeah, blackouts for me have been totally unpredictable and crazy and absolutely the most frightening thing I've ever experienced.
I am not actually sure if I have any control over my behavior while I'm like that or not, to be honest. I do however think that I am responsible for that behavior regardless, because I know I'm unpredictable when I drink -so if I drink I'm responsible for the consequences.
I remember the first blackout I had. I pretty much was like you. My friends were telling me things I had done, and I wasn't sure if they were making it up or not. It isn't a good feeling. My advise is to quit while your ahead. It won't get better and it will probably get a whole lot worse.
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by MalcolmTucker 
Hi everyone, this is a repost since my previous thread was deleted for inadvertently featuring a commercial link.
Basically, is it accepted to be an iron law that when you are blackout drunk, you have no control of your behaviour and are completely unable to self-censor what you say?
I was blackout drunk recently, and when I asked friends about what happened, I was given two independent accounts stating that I was thrown out of the bar for falling down the stairs, but that I was pretty quiet and didn't say anything embarrassing.
This to me seems kind of hard to believe considering what I've read about blackout drunkenness temporarily destroying the superego. If I had no inhibitions whatsoever, I would have said incredibly mortifying things.
Is it possible that the extent to which self-control disappears during a blackout varies from person to person? I am a very introverted and self-conscious guy, so it kind of makes sense that I would have kept my mouth shut, but at the same time, everything I've read on the subject contradicts that.
Basically, I am 50:50 on whether to believe what my friends told me. My real life experience would suggest that not everyone who gets blackout drunk turns into a hyper-communicative honesty-machine, but articles I've read coupled with possible paranoia makes me think otherwise.
So, just from people's experiences of themselves and others, is it normal, or indeed possible, to remain quiet and low key during a total blackout when one has lost all physical coordination?
thanks for reading
Basically, is it accepted to be an iron law that when you are blackout drunk, you have no control of your behaviour and are completely unable to self-censor what you say?
I was blackout drunk recently, and when I asked friends about what happened, I was given two independent accounts stating that I was thrown out of the bar for falling down the stairs, but that I was pretty quiet and didn't say anything embarrassing.
This to me seems kind of hard to believe considering what I've read about blackout drunkenness temporarily destroying the superego. If I had no inhibitions whatsoever, I would have said incredibly mortifying things.
Is it possible that the extent to which self-control disappears during a blackout varies from person to person? I am a very introverted and self-conscious guy, so it kind of makes sense that I would have kept my mouth shut, but at the same time, everything I've read on the subject contradicts that.
Basically, I am 50:50 on whether to believe what my friends told me. My real life experience would suggest that not everyone who gets blackout drunk turns into a hyper-communicative honesty-machine, but articles I've read coupled with possible paranoia makes me think otherwise.
So, just from people's experiences of themselves and others, is it normal, or indeed possible, to remain quiet and low key during a total blackout when one has lost all physical coordination?
thanks for reading
Staying clean and sober are the new "Cool"
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by MalcolmTucker
Hi everyone, this is a repost since my previous thread was deleted for inadvertently featuring a commercial link.
Basically, is it accepted to be an iron law that when you are blackout drunk, you have no control of your behaviour and are completely unable to self-censor what you say?
I was blackout drunk recently, and when I asked friends about what happened, I was given two independent accounts stating that I was thrown out of the bar for falling down the stairs, but that I was pretty quiet and didn't say anything embarrassing.
This to me seems kind of hard to believe considering what I've read about blackout drunkenness temporarily destroying the superego. If I had no inhibitions whatsoever, I would have said incredibly mortifying things.
Is it possible that the extent to which self-control disappears during a blackout varies from person to person? I am a very introverted and self-conscious guy, so it kind of makes sense that I would have kept my mouth shut, but at the same time, everything I've read on the subject contradicts that.
Basically, I am 50:50 on whether to believe what my friends told me. My real life experience would suggest that not everyone who gets blackout drunk turns into a hyper-communicative honesty-machine, but articles I've read coupled with possible paranoia makes me think otherwise.
So, just from people's experiences of themselves and others, is it normal, or indeed possible, to remain quiet and low key during a total blackout when one has lost all physical coordination?
thanks for reading
Basically, is it accepted to be an iron law that when you are blackout drunk, you have no control of your behaviour and are completely unable to self-censor what you say?
I was blackout drunk recently, and when I asked friends about what happened, I was given two independent accounts stating that I was thrown out of the bar for falling down the stairs, but that I was pretty quiet and didn't say anything embarrassing.
This to me seems kind of hard to believe considering what I've read about blackout drunkenness temporarily destroying the superego. If I had no inhibitions whatsoever, I would have said incredibly mortifying things.
Is it possible that the extent to which self-control disappears during a blackout varies from person to person? I am a very introverted and self-conscious guy, so it kind of makes sense that I would have kept my mouth shut, but at the same time, everything I've read on the subject contradicts that.
Basically, I am 50:50 on whether to believe what my friends told me. My real life experience would suggest that not everyone who gets blackout drunk turns into a hyper-communicative honesty-machine, but articles I've read coupled with possible paranoia makes me think otherwise.
So, just from people's experiences of themselves and others, is it normal, or indeed possible, to remain quiet and low key during a total blackout when one has lost all physical coordination?
thanks for reading
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by MalcolmTucker
Do the people here who have woken up in jail ever get very drunk without blacking out?
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by MalcolmTucker
Do the people here who have woken up in jail ever get very drunk without blacking out?
Through most of college, I could get extremely drunk without blacking out. On my 21st birthday, I had a margarita and 3 beeers before doing the 21 shots, and had a pitcher of beer after that, and I didn't black out.
The last time I got arrested, which was also the last time I drank, I blacked out after 2 gin and tonics.
I never said to myself "hey I'm going to black out tonight." In fact, by the end, I would promise myself I would not get drunk. But after the first drink, all bets were off. I never drank alone. By the end, I would drink once a week or so, but I still managed to completely ruin my life. I've been sober for a couple years, and I'm still feeling the consequences.
Not every alcoholic just drinks by himself from sun up to sun down.
I can promise you, that if you keep drinking, the black outs will become more frequent.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by Spawn
I think we're suppose to be talking about "recovery" and not various levels of using/drinking?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by robertl
Through most of college, I could get extremely drunk without blacking out. On my 21st birthday, I had a margarita and 3 beeers before doing the 21 shots, and had a pitcher of beer after that, and I didn't black out.
The last time I got arrested, which was also the last time I drank, I blacked out after 2 gin and tonics.
The last time I got arrested, which was also the last time I drank, I blacked out after 2 gin and tonics.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Malcolm....
What speciffically are you planning to do about quitting drinking?
This blackout situation has been explained to the best
of our abilities. Time for action on your part....
What speciffically are you planning to do about quitting drinking?
This blackout situation has been explained to the best
of our abilities. Time for action on your part....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by MalcolmTucker
So I take it from this that a blackout entails more than just being very drunk while not producing memories, and that therefore a person's blackout behaviour is significantly different from their 'very drunk' behaviour?
There is somewhat of a chicken or the egg problem here. To be precise, we know what the chicken is--drinking-- but it has many eggs such as loss of inhibitions, erratic behavior, and-yes- short term memory loss.
The more you drink, the worse all of these become. So it is not as if the black out caused the extra loss of inhibitions and more erratic behavior. It's that as you get drunker, all of these get worse.
The fact that when I was younger and did not black as easily doesn't change that.
Different people respond to alcohol differently, but also the Same people can respond to alcohol differently as their alcoholism progressed.
The fact that I would black out after a few drinks towards the end of my drinking did not mean that the black out caused me to get arrested. As my alcoholism worsened, my tolerance went down. This meant that I wold black out more easily, but also that my behavior became more erratic without drinking as much.
I have a friend (who still drinks) who will black out, but most people cannot even tell he's drunk.
And the fact that I didn't get arrested did not have anything to do with the fact that I didn't black out. Rather, it was that I was at a party school where the behavior was accepted, and I would be surrounded by 10 of my fraternity brothers--at least one of whom had enough common sense to keep me from doing something extremely stupid.
As I got older, the behavior became less acceptable, and no one wanted to help me out.
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