Cloudbusted

Hi everyone. I am 26 years old. I've been sober for 3 days now, and honestly I never want to drink again. I have been battling with alcohol for all of my adult life. I have always drank to much, never been able to "just have a few drinks" Recently it has gotten really severe. My wife wants to separate and take things from there. She is not totally writing me out of her life but if I do not change I will have no chance with her. We have 3 great daughters, and I cant stand to lose my family. I have never been so scared in my life. I have isolated myself from everyone, but my family. I have neglected my family and the only person I have to turn to is my mother, and one friend. My wife wants to be friends, and I can not let her suffer through my recovery. She has suffered enough. Drinking has consumed my life. The few friends I have are alcoholics. I have always heard of people hitting rock bottom, and told my self that would never happen. I stand to lose 6 years of marriage and a beautiful family. My wife and I have been together for 10 years. I start counseling tomorrow. Aside from that I have no idea where to go from here. All I know what to do is to stop drinking, and be a good friend to my wife again. Any advice from someone who knows what I am in for during the next few months of my life would be very much appreciated. Its hard for me right now. I work a live-in from wed-fri, and am alone with the kids the rest of the week. My wife is at her mothers when I am not at work. That is the plan we came up with for now. Everything seems hopeless right now, but I know I still stand a chance. I know that this is going to take a long time. I have no more delusions about a "quick fix" to my problems.

keithj

Howdy Cloudbusted,

I've been where you are right now. The only differences are that I was older, had already lost my family, and I didn't have much hope of things getting better. I'd already tried to quit drinking for years, been through the rounds of doctors, counselors, treatment, and rehab.

There's a quote from one of the co-founders of AA that applied to me when I got sober. It may apply to you as well.
It never fails, Cloudbusted. When I took the required actions (the 12 Steps), I never had to drink again. And I haven't.

If you really want some help with this, and I think that's a good idea, call your local AA hotline and say you want to speak with someone who has had a spiritual awakening as the result of the Steps. They will hook you up with someone who can show you the precise actions so that you can have your own awakening, and so that you never have to drink again.

dasha

HI Cloudbusted i have also been married 6 yrs, and have one lovely daughter..Though
a lot older than you.. i also reached breakin point.. were i seriously needed to put the
brakes on this Alcoholic way of distraught living..Ive only been stopped 2 weeks and
found this place a wonderful inspiration! so much help and guidence from so many who
know and have lived through what you and i are going through..and trying to get out of,
i think you will find the help and encouragement here to help get you back into the
life of sobriety.. and of course many here do AA,and advice you on groups and sessions
that you can get involved in to help you.. Try and figure all this out on your own is
soso hard.. To get the help and advice and support from others will boost your resolve.
good luck... and plsd to meet you.

Wolfchild

Welcome to the SR community!

Fubarcdn

Welcome to SR Cloudbusted.

I was in a similar position as you are just over a year ago when my wife gave me an ultimatum to quit drinking or get out. I was devastated and quit drinking on that very day.
It hasn't been easy but we have worked through the things that finally got her to that point and now our relationship is stronger than it has every been.
The trust will return if you prove your love for her and your beautiful family.
Give her some time and some pace and work hard at winning her heart back and then let the cards fall where they may.
I came here to SR the very next day and have gotten wonderful support from everyone here since.
Good luck. I am hoping all turns out like you want it to.

Cloudbusted

I went to my first AA meeting. I did not believe I would speak, but I did. They gave me a contact list, and a big book. I'm feeling alot more positive, but I know this will take some time and mostly patience on my part. Thanks for the replies! I'll put my thoughts in peoples post if think I can offer good advice, and keep everyone updated.

zizanie

My husband has flat out told me that he LIKES the sobriety process, even the hard points. I'm ME again...which means I can learn and grow from from whatever is happening, even if I learn slowly or have to throw a fit first. In my experience, things work best for me for me in recovery when I let others decide what they are or are not willing to tolerate...and I do the same for myself.

Your story is so familiar to me. I took my last drink on 19 April 2009 at 26. I could not have gone this long without the 12 steps and the support of my AA group. It sounds like your first AA meeting went well and I'm glad to hear it. There's no way I would still be sober today if I hadn't jumped right into the middle of the program...including step work. I did them to the best of my ability, in order, quickly...and then I did them again. Working a program can be super uncomfortable at times but it's the only thing that brought me any relief or hope in the beginning. I'm glad I gave it an honest shot and trusted the process. It built a strong foundation and cleaned out all the garbage I used to beat myself up over so I could stay sober. I continue to get a lot out of it today....so does my sponsor 28 years after she walked in the doors. Good luck!

littlebluedog

Welcome to SR. Like most of these folks, I too am an AA'er. Saved my life. Give it a shot, go to a meeting and get a sponsor. If you're nervous about asking someone, don't be. Working with others helps keep us sober. Best of luck to you.

p.s. A sponsor is someone who will walk you through the steps.

CarolD

Thanks for joining us....
Welcome to SR and to our Alcoholism Forum

william1872

I wish you well in your recovery, I to hit rock bottom 6 months ago and thought I'd lost everything, concentrate on getting yourself better and other things will just fall into place. When your ready have a heart to heart with your wife.

Cloudbusted

Good morning. I like this quote and thought to share it.

I have taken more good from alcohol than alcohol has taken from me.

WINSTON CHURCHILL

nyj77

Glad your here, I have a similar story I'm 32 been sober since 3/1/08. I got the ultimatom like you and I did it. 6 months into my sobriety I was laid off and moved to the midwest for work and got work 6 months later but that year was the toughest of my life. I got through it and I am so glad I'm sober. I tried AA but it wasn't for me. I hope everything works out and keep posting.

yeahgr8

AA works for me when nothing else did, from what you have posted it would be an extraordinarily good move for you to take advantage of the AA hotlines you have in the States and get to talk to someone who can really help you, you can spare yourself literally years of misery for you and your loved ones...this is as serious as it gets for you so hope you make that call:-)