I need help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 3
I need help
Ive finally realized ive been an alcoholic since the age of 14...i dont know what to say and to be honest i cant believe im actually posting on a forum..well im a 21 year old male and I had my first drink when i was 14. Ive gone through stages in my life where i wont drink for a while or I will drink with not having a sober day under my belt for over a year. Im currently at the lowest point in my life and I dont know what to do. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and personality disorders since I was a teenager so maybe that has something to do with my alcohol use but It has gotten to the point where I drink every day, all day, in the mornings, anytime i can drink I do...I have lost relaltionships because of alcohol...my work has been effected by alcohol and there are sometimes where all i think about is getting home and making a drink...i just dont know what to do anymore. I am at a point in my life where I drink everyday, and if i dont have a drink i crave it so badly for no reason what so ever. I have recently lost my gf to drinking and I have alot of legal trouble do to alcohol use (dui, reckless driving, weapons, and drug charges) all because of my drinking. I spend hundreds if not thousand of dollars a month on bar tabs and trips to the abc store. its gotten to the point where I just really dont know what to do and i kind of just want to say **** it. I cant bring myself to go to an AA meeting so i guess thats part of why im on this forum...eventually I will have to go to an ASAP program because like I said i am going to court for a DUI case on the 25th of this month so maybe that will help who knows...I just feel like my world is falling apart and all of the negative aspects of my life can be associated with alcohol. I cant stop drinking and I need help..I dont know what to do anymore...ive been told by friends and my dad i need to stop drinking or slow down but I can see what its like to be an addict for once...just wanting a drink for no reason..its the only thing that is inside your head and until you get a drink nothing else matters...i dont know what im asking for or anythign maybe some help or guidance or words of wisdom..but i just know for once i can finally admit that i am an alcoholic and I dont know what to do..
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Yep, Jetblack, you sound pretty far gone to me. Most likely even the real deal alcoholic.
Too bad. Because that AA meeting is filled with people who had gotten to the point where they didn't know what to do and were ready to say **** it, just like you. And those people are sober and happy today. Some of them can even show you precisely how they went from where you are to where they are now.
Originally Posted by Jetblack3041 
its gotten to the point where I just really dont know what to do and i kind of just want to say **** it. I cant bring myself to go to an AA meeting..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 3
i know i need to go to one but my whole life ive just been a **** up and ive always fed off of other people for help and it just hurts me to think i have to do that again...i mean ive been through so much...i was a marine at one point and ive been through so much **** i just feel like i can do this on my own...i dont know im just really lost and confused right now..
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi Jetblack,
Welcome to SR. I really wish you would get to an AA meeting. You have nothing to lose - it's free. There are plenty of people there who know exactly what it feels like to be you. You are not alone.
Just go and tell them you need help. People will help you. I was in a meeting today and someone was very distressed, really just about to give up completely and to see the support, love and care from everyone in the room, it really was beautiful. It's just the sort of thing you don't see in the 'outside world'
Thanks for sharing. I hope you stay with us.
Welcome to SR. I really wish you would get to an AA meeting. You have nothing to lose - it's free. There are plenty of people there who know exactly what it feels like to be you. You are not alone.
Just go and tell them you need help. People will help you. I was in a meeting today and someone was very distressed, really just about to give up completely and to see the support, love and care from everyone in the room, it really was beautiful. It's just the sort of thing you don't see in the 'outside world'
Thanks for sharing. I hope you stay with us.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by Jetblack3041
i just feel like i can do this on my own...
And it's OK. I felt exactly like that also at one time. I really felt I could do it on my own. I rode that delusion as far as I could ride it, way farther down than I ever thought I could go. When I couldn't face another day like that, I asked for help from a guy who showed me some precise actions to take to get recovered. I haven't drank since, nor have I missed drinking, not to mention the other, more important changes in my life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 3
i just dumped the rest of my alcohol out down the sink...i dont know im tired of being drunk 24/7 and im tired of ******* up my life no matter how much i want to drink and love being drunk...im just done with all of this. I guess this is the first step...its sad...i actually was almost crying when i saw all of the booze going to waste and going down the drain.
uʍop ǝpısdn
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: California
Posts: 422
It's hard for me to offer help as I'm young in sobriety.
I can tell you it would be in your best interest to Handel this at such a young age!
It will be hard the drinking is programed in your brain, you have to re program it.
SR is a great place for support.
I can tell you it would be in your best interest to Handel this at such a young age!
It will be hard the drinking is programed in your brain, you have to re program it.
SR is a great place for support.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
I'm glad you found us Jetblack and also that you got the courage up to post. Admitting you have a problem is the first step. I'm a recovering addict and alcoholic, been in Recovery for 4.5 years, but I remember how it feels to feel like everything is hopeless and wanting to say screw it all. I was so close to suicide but the only reason I didn't try to kill myself was I figured I'd screw that up like I did everything else in my life. But there is hope!
I used/drank for 32 years before I got in Recovery. I put myself into treatment the first time when I was 18, fresh out of high school. I didn't stay clean that long after I got out because I tried to do it my way. My way just got me in deeper and feeling more hopeless. I'd go into detox, get clean, then not long after I got out of the hospital, I used again. I road that hopeless rollercoaster for 25 years before I finally surrendered and said,"Just tell me what to do and I'll do it. I can't go through this any longer." I had been to AA Meetings in the past, but I never did what was suggested. It's like I thought just by walking into a Meeting would suddenly cure me. You have to do some work, dig deep inside to find out why you want to use. What causes those urges that the only thing you think about is that next drink.
Just find some meetings and GO! What do you have to lose? An hour of your time that you would have been drinking? I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, told I was bi polar, all kinds of crap when I was using. Funny thing is, once I got Clean and Sober, those problems were gone. It's amazing just how many people have went through similar things when using.
It's obvious that you are an Alcoholic. You can't do this alone. No one has ever, ever been able to stay clean and sober without the help of others. And who better to help than a fellow Alcoholic. It's much cheaper than going to all of these shrinks to get a possibly false diagnosis of depression, anxiety, blah, blah, blah. I was amazed at what I heard from other Alcoholics at Meetings. It's like they were telling my life story. How could they possibly know exactly how I was feeling? Because they lived it, they know how it feels.
Please stick with us. Read around in the Newcomers forum as well. I think you're going to find that just about every single person posting on here has been where you are.
It's not hopeless Jetblack.
God Bless,
Judy
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
Hello & Welcome to our Sober Recovery community.
i remember doing alot of things i really didn't want to do
while in the active denial of this disease called alcoholism.
i went to any lengths to keep drinking, even though it was killing me.
Now i go to any lengths to stay sober and to recover on a daily basis.
i hope you keep coming back to maintain your desire to live a better way of life!
i remember doing alot of things i really didn't want to do
while in the active denial of this disease called alcoholism.
i went to any lengths to keep drinking, even though it was killing me.
Now i go to any lengths to stay sober and to recover on a daily basis.
i hope you keep coming back to maintain your desire to live a better way of life!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 118
Welcome!!!!!
You story sounds just like mine. I was 12 stepped at 14 years old. I thought meetings were a death sentence.
I found life and happiness and fun. Sobriety gave me the opportunity to have a normal life, one filled with triumphs and tragedies, dreams and hopes. A life filled with the most important thing there is a promise for tomorrow and a blessing for today.
It all started when I let the people in the rooms love me until I could Love myself.
BUT I had to go to meetings in order to find that.
Anytime you want to get off the merry-go-round you can. The best part if you do not want to go to meetings anymore AA will gladly refund your misery.
You story sounds just like mine. I was 12 stepped at 14 years old. I thought meetings were a death sentence.
I found life and happiness and fun. Sobriety gave me the opportunity to have a normal life, one filled with triumphs and tragedies, dreams and hopes. A life filled with the most important thing there is a promise for tomorrow and a blessing for today.
It all started when I let the people in the rooms love me until I could Love myself.
BUT I had to go to meetings in order to find that.
Anytime you want to get off the merry-go-round you can. The best part if you do not want to go to meetings anymore AA will gladly refund your misery.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 413
Welcome, I'm glad you're here.
It's not the end of the world -- it really isn't.
You have the opportunity to change now and turn your life around.
Keep posting and just know that you're not alone anymore.
It's not the end of the world -- it really isn't.
You have the opportunity to change now and turn your life around.
Keep posting and just know that you're not alone anymore.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Welcome to SR Jetblack 
I'm glad you dumped the booze. Great start.
I'm not an AAer myself, but I think the least you can do is try a meeting - there's no contracts to sign
I'm for anything thats gonna keep me sober
D
I'm glad you dumped the booze. Great start.
I'm not an AAer myself, but I think the least you can do is try a meeting - there's no contracts to sign
I'm for anything thats gonna keep me sober
D
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
This can be the beginning of your new sober life
We can and do win over alcohol
Please do read this link about de toxing....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Welcome to our recovery community...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Saint Louis, MO
Posts: 285
Hey, welcome to the forum. I can't begin to tell you how much I relate to your post. I started drinking around the same age and when I was 21 I had my first real attempt at sobriety, going to a doctor and breaking down because I was crapping lots of blood! Like you, I was sure that AA was not for me, the anxiety was too high and I wanted to find a different way. I lasted about two weeks without drinking, then it was back to the races for three years without any looking back. I am 25 now and have a little over a year, and I couldn't have done it without AA this time. You don't have to make the same mistakes I made. In many ways I am lucky that I found AA as early as I did in my life. Also, regarding the diagnosing of psychiatric problems in an alcoholic--alcohol consumption can cause depression and anxiety, and the side effects of alcohol can mimic a whole range of different conditions. You may have a legit psychiatric illness, I do to a degree, but alcohol can make things so much worse, especially the anxiety. Good luck and keep coming around.
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