Back after a few years
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: southern U.S.
Posts: 153
Back after a few years
Hello All-
I was occasionally on this forum about 5 years ago. I would pop in from time to time to read the posts, but I am only now becoming sober. Until about 4 months ago, I could only manage one or two days of sobriety at a time.
Since the new year, I've managed about two weeks at a time. After a two week stretch, I relapsed on one day. But now I am back to about a week and a half of being sober.
After so many attempts of trying to quit, over the course of about seven years, I finally came clean to my family and others close to me who had no idea how bad off I was. I feel like I finally have some support, and that has made a lot of difference. (I have also gone to a few AA meetings). Plus I feel that I am holding myself accountable to certain people.
It helped that I started the ball rolling during the holidays, when I had a lot of time off. I knew that I had to just contend with the insomnia.
By the standards of some, I'm probably "white knuckling" it. I know that I really need to throw myself full-on into some a recovery program. Because once the withdrawal symptoms and cravings go away, I realize how this mess I got myself into had so much to do with my thinking, and of course it has altered the way I think as well.
I saw somewhere on here that someone was curious about young folks in recovery. Well, I realized I had a problem during my early twenties. Now it's the late twenties, and I'm still struggling.
No doubt about it, I want to stay sober. Most of you know that the cycle of addiction can be hell on earth. My experience was no exception. I'd seriously reached the crossroads. My health was failing rapidly, drunken injuries were becoming more frequent, prospects were dwindling, relationships were dying, debt was mounting, etc.
Thanks for letting me re-introduce myself. I hope to be of some support for any of you out there.
Wren
I was occasionally on this forum about 5 years ago. I would pop in from time to time to read the posts, but I am only now becoming sober. Until about 4 months ago, I could only manage one or two days of sobriety at a time.
Since the new year, I've managed about two weeks at a time. After a two week stretch, I relapsed on one day. But now I am back to about a week and a half of being sober.
After so many attempts of trying to quit, over the course of about seven years, I finally came clean to my family and others close to me who had no idea how bad off I was. I feel like I finally have some support, and that has made a lot of difference. (I have also gone to a few AA meetings). Plus I feel that I am holding myself accountable to certain people.
It helped that I started the ball rolling during the holidays, when I had a lot of time off. I knew that I had to just contend with the insomnia.
By the standards of some, I'm probably "white knuckling" it. I know that I really need to throw myself full-on into some a recovery program. Because once the withdrawal symptoms and cravings go away, I realize how this mess I got myself into had so much to do with my thinking, and of course it has altered the way I think as well.
I saw somewhere on here that someone was curious about young folks in recovery. Well, I realized I had a problem during my early twenties. Now it's the late twenties, and I'm still struggling.
No doubt about it, I want to stay sober. Most of you know that the cycle of addiction can be hell on earth. My experience was no exception. I'd seriously reached the crossroads. My health was failing rapidly, drunken injuries were becoming more frequent, prospects were dwindling, relationships were dying, debt was mounting, etc.
Thanks for letting me re-introduce myself. I hope to be of some support for any of you out there.
Wren
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: KC MO
Posts: 980
The way I see it, white knuckling can't be avoided for the first month or 2. I have heard people in AA say god removed their desire to drink from the start. That wasn't the way it worked for me. The first month was rough.
I hope you stick with this, because life sober really is sooo much better.
Fred
I hope you stick with this, because life sober really is sooo much better.
Fred
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
In my experience, the quicker you work through the steps and get to step 10 the quicker the compulsion to drink will be removed...you don't have to whiteknuckle it for 2 months you can make it last 2 years if you want to...i've got a good friend in AA who is 27, works for him, it'll work for you too if you want it...just fyi:-)
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Hey Wren, welcome back. From a fellow "old timer" who's been around here a long time, but only a short amount of clean time. This place has been such great support to me over the years. I'd come and I'd go, but the good folks here always welcomed me back...even when it was a whole different crew. Congrats on your 4 months, I've only got about 8, hope to hear more from you. Take care.
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi Wren and welcome back.
I hope you take some action on this knowledge.
Keep in touch.
Originally Posted by wren 
By the standards of some, I'm probably "white knuckling" it. I know that I really need to throw myself full-on into some a recovery program.
Keep in touch.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: southern U.S.
Posts: 153
Originally Posted by tyler
Hey Wren, welcome back. From a fellow "old timer" who's been around here a long time, but only a short amount of clean time. This place has been such great support to me over the years. I'd come and I'd go, but the good folks here always welcomed me back...even when it was a whole different crew. Congrats on your 4 months, I've only got about 8, hope to hear more from you. Take care.
Just to correct you-- I don't have 4 months sobriety. About a week and a half currently. Four months ago I started getting the hang of it a little better.
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Originally Posted by wren
Just to correct you-- I don't have 4 months sobriety. About a week and a half currently. Four months ago I started getting the hang of it a little better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: southern U.S.
Posts: 153
I'm still lurking around.
I'm suprised that I've made it 3 weeks. It's getting easier. The longer I'm sober, the less I consider alcohol as any sort of option for me.
Unfortunately, I'm using over-the-counter sleep aids many nights of the week. And I realize that this might be addictive behavior.
I'm suprised that I've made it 3 weeks. It's getting easier. The longer I'm sober, the less I consider alcohol as any sort of option for me.
Unfortunately, I'm using over-the-counter sleep aids many nights of the week. And I realize that this might be addictive behavior.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
3 weeks is a good start...Well done.....
I've never used sleeping aids.....but I supose anything
used excessively is not healthy.
Please see if this link is useful...
Insomnia? 42 Simple Tips to Help You Get to Sleep - Insomnia treatment, cures
By the end of 2 motnhs of my AA sobriety
I was back in balance mentally and physically.
Yes! we can and do win over alcohol
I've never used sleeping aids.....but I supose anything
used excessively is not healthy.
Please see if this link is useful...
Insomnia? 42 Simple Tips to Help You Get to Sleep - Insomnia treatment, cures
By the end of 2 motnhs of my AA sobriety
I was back in balance mentally and physically.
Yes! we can and do win over alcohol
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: southern U.S.
Posts: 153
Relapsed. And I was getting close to a month.
It's strange: though the woman I've been seeing was great support for me while getting sober, both times I've relapsed it's been because I couldn't handle my emotions connected with her.
I guess that's why they caution against getting into relationships while you're in recovery.
It's strange: though the woman I've been seeing was great support for me while getting sober, both times I've relapsed it's been because I couldn't handle my emotions connected with her.
I guess that's why they caution against getting into relationships while you're in recovery.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: southern U.S.
Posts: 153
What's next? I'm not sure.
I feel that I need that relationship to continue for me to want to be sober, but I don't think it's possible for it to continue (nor healthy for her or me).
Somewhere in my mind I realize that I want to be sober -- with or without her -- but it helped me to have an incentive, and to have someone to be accountable to.
I have eliminated most of my environmental triggers for drinking. I just stay home and be responsible most of the time. When it hits me, though, (the desire to drink), I don't know what to do with myself.
Before I relapsed, I talked to two people on the phone and then ate a large meal. But I still had the desire to walk out into the cold to get beer.
I feel that I need that relationship to continue for me to want to be sober, but I don't think it's possible for it to continue (nor healthy for her or me).
Somewhere in my mind I realize that I want to be sober -- with or without her -- but it helped me to have an incentive, and to have someone to be accountable to.
I have eliminated most of my environmental triggers for drinking. I just stay home and be responsible most of the time. When it hits me, though, (the desire to drink), I don't know what to do with myself.
Before I relapsed, I talked to two people on the phone and then ate a large meal. But I still had the desire to walk out into the cold to get beer.
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