594 Days....OMG!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 168
594 Days....OMG!
Well...I am feeling in a bit of a reflective mood...for a number of reasons I think but mainly because today is my belly button birthday and I am 29. This time last year I was 7 months sober and feeling so so bad. I had just gotten through my first sober christmas and new year, I had just been cheated on and dumped the week before christmas and things seemed very dark.
Now I am 19 months sober, a year older, I have been dumped again, my Grandfather is in hospital and my aunt is dying. But ya know what...I feel so much better than I did back then. I have an inner calm, a peace about me that no matter what happens everything really is going to be ok. There's a lot of things happening, mainly to do with my Grandfather. He has cancer and he has recently had a stroke and he is very depressed and angry. I can see how his illness is affecting my whole family and I am powerless to change anything. What I can do though is pray for him, support them, and keep myself safe and that's what I'm doing.
I still stray into my character defects. You know that old gem....2 years no relationships?? For the love of God people listen to your sponsors lol. 19 months and 3 relationships later I finally believe that there is a reason for that "suggestion" lol. I always do well in my recovery when I am just focusing on me. I do my meetings, I do service, I spend time with sober people who are on a program. Then I meet a pretty girl. I start to take her hostage, I make her the centre of my world....then no wonder she goes running for the hills! But ya know what...it's progress not perfection and I am getting there!
This has been a bit of a mixed up post...guess it's just where my head is at! I am off shopping for the day with my Mum. Can you believe I actually CHOSE to come spend my birthday with my parents!!! Never done this before unless I was looking for money. Then on Sunday about 20 of us are going out for a sober meal. Amazing stuff!
To all at SR...have a joyous, sober and clean day!
Now I am 19 months sober, a year older, I have been dumped again, my Grandfather is in hospital and my aunt is dying. But ya know what...I feel so much better than I did back then. I have an inner calm, a peace about me that no matter what happens everything really is going to be ok. There's a lot of things happening, mainly to do with my Grandfather. He has cancer and he has recently had a stroke and he is very depressed and angry. I can see how his illness is affecting my whole family and I am powerless to change anything. What I can do though is pray for him, support them, and keep myself safe and that's what I'm doing.
I still stray into my character defects. You know that old gem....2 years no relationships?? For the love of God people listen to your sponsors lol. 19 months and 3 relationships later I finally believe that there is a reason for that "suggestion" lol. I always do well in my recovery when I am just focusing on me. I do my meetings, I do service, I spend time with sober people who are on a program. Then I meet a pretty girl. I start to take her hostage, I make her the centre of my world....then no wonder she goes running for the hills! But ya know what...it's progress not perfection and I am getting there!
This has been a bit of a mixed up post...guess it's just where my head is at! I am off shopping for the day with my Mum. Can you believe I actually CHOSE to come spend my birthday with my parents!!! Never done this before unless I was looking for money. Then on Sunday about 20 of us are going out for a sober meal. Amazing stuff!
To all at SR...have a joyous, sober and clean day!
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