Otis

This is my biggest issue...
I feel stress, I Drink...
Please give me your tips...

CarolD....
Go Away!

humblestudent

OMG - first of all, I laughed really hard at your username and your picture. That's hysterical, and I wish I thought of it!

Second - I'm interested in how people answer. I have 12 days, and my normal answer is drink too. I either work too much (to exhaustion), drink too much (to black out or pass out), and there is nothing in between.

I'm trying to find what's in between (without the drinking - I've already proven to myself that I can't do that half way...).

Mark75

Stop picking on Carol!!!

Anyway... you stop drinking and you get immersed in a program of recovery... ask for help, reach out, call people when you need to talk, when you feel stress. Learn how to deal with stress the way most normal, non-alcoholics do...

You can do it...

Mark

humblestudent

No no...not picking on her... Admiring her sense of humor

Sudz No More

Carol is a great Forum Leader who approaches recovery with tough love.

Staying away from the drink is really pretty simple. As Nancy Reagan once said, "Just Say No"

If bad detox and withdrawal are a problem because of very heavy consumption then check into a rehab. If cravings are the only issue then simply tough it out.

Sit and be bored if you have to until you get over "Wanting" to imbibe. If you can't find a diversion, there is always the nearest liquor store. Good Luck.

tyler

Stress was a big trigger for me too, at least I let it be. Of course I could let just about anything be a big trigger to use!! The way I deal with stress now, is to not let myself get stressed in the first place. I deal with what I can the best I can and move on, simple as that.

I work everyday in a retail sales environment. At any given time there are people waiting to talk to me, wanting to discuss problems, angry about something, not to mention sales quotas to be met, etc. I just take it one thing at a time, deal with it as best I can, and move on to the next issue. Getting stressed about it never once helped me deal with an issue, in fact it was usually quite the opposite.

Stress doesn't make you want to drink, you make you want to drink. Stress makes a good excuse, and does make you feel better for a time, but when you sober up the problems are still there. Still undealt with, stress returns, more reasons to drink, more stress, more problems. See where I'm going with this?

Seperate your drinking from everything else. It simply is not an option that is open to you for dealing with anything. Then break down the problems that are causing you to be stressed and work towards finding solutions to them. Then it won't be nearly as easy to get stressed as you won't have as many things to be stressed about.

Not exactly sure what the dig at Carol was about, but in all the years I've been here, she has always been loving and helpful, even when we don't see eye to eye on our methods of recovery (which is fequently!!). I respect her greatly and hope she feels the same about me. Perhaps I misunderstood what you were getting at. Take care.

CarolD

Thanks for the kind words.


How do I deal with stress as a non drinker?

I find the Serenity Prayer very calming.

".God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference"

Lionne

Hi Otis,

I can relate to stress being a trigger, and I can also relate to some of the things tyler said about coping with it. What worked for me was taking up regular physical exercise, it greatly improved my overall mood and my sleepimg patters as well as stress levels.

It can be a good way to get stress out of your system aftern a bad day, but just doing it reguarly, even when you are not stressed out can help you to be more resilient in stressful situations.

The biggest change though I made was to learn to pause for a second and stop myself when I was in an already stressful situation and getting myself even more worked up about it. I would often completely freak out over some manageable things with the result of my stress levels going completely trough the roof. Identifying and avoiding potentilally stressful situation that were unennesscessary to get exposed to was also a part of it. It took a bit of time to learn to recognize these patterns, but agree with tyler on this one:

and what Cubile said about not keeping it to yourself is also a good point:

It takes a little work and time to get adjusted to new strategies to cope witnh stress, but it is all worth it. I can only tell you what worked for me, but maybe some of it can be helpful for others too.

Finally, I am not aware of what previously happened between CarolD and you but from what I know the things she has to say are often helpful and she normally isn't the kind to lash out at somebody. I'm sure there is a possibility to get past this.

Peace, and all the best on your way,
S.

cejay

Hi Otis,

Stress is a BIG trigger for me too. I also have a very stressful job, frequently with long hours or wake ups in the middle of the night to fix problems.

I find the best way to handle it (for me) is physical release. I tried the gym but hate it, so I tried a martial arts and found that much more fun. (No alpha male crap)
Plus its at a scheduled time which does not allow my usual drinking time to work, forces me out of the house and I'm meeting new people.

Most places will let you come a few times for free to try out their club. I was really nervous at first but everyone was nice and very welcoming.

CJ

tyler

Martial arts is a great idea. I lot of people think it's just about learning to fight, or be one of those "cage fighters", but it is really as much mental as it is physical (well, maybe a little more physical!!) One of the rehab programs I went through used martial arts extensivly (3 times a week) as part of their recovery program. Regretably it is not something I kept up with, but I did see the benifit of it and exersise in general to help with stress, urges, and many other things. Take care.

U24LIFE

Run for miles and miles. You can lose yourself that way for awhile...

cejay

Just wanted to add a few things as I've been working on preventing stress in my own life. This is becoming a bit of a passion, so I thought I'd share a bit more.

Proper sleep.
Hard to do at first when coming off the booze but it will come. Know your own body. I shoot for 7 hrs, of sober sleep.

Eating
I eat properly and regularly, starting with breakfast. If you have a hard time eating within an hour after you get up (as I suspect most hard drinkers do) eat something really small to start to get into it. 1 piece of toast or Yogurt with some granola mixed in, an apple, anything healthy. (Suggest you avoid the "McBreakfasts")

I cut my coffee intake in half. To avoid keeping going on the coffee (as I'm a caffeine fiend) I brush my teeth after about the 3rd cup then I don't want coffee anymore. If you can't do something like that, or you just need to sip something warm, switch over to tea. There are a billion kinds to try.

Treat yourself to a massage by a health professional periodically. You're saving all sorts of cash by not drinking, so you can afford it at least once a month.

Martial arts/physical activity
(Already mentioned)

Shoot for a mid day or evening walk. Doesn't have to be long.

Meditation a few times a week.
I found this extremely helpful. Try something like this: YouTube - Self-Esteem: A Guided Relaxation Session
Sit comfortably, shut off everything you can and listen to something like this with your eyes closed, takes 15 mins, and a few mins to kind of wake up but its really helped prevent stress in my life.

CJ.

CarolD

cejay...
Welcome to SR and to our Alcoholism Forum

viavai

U24LIFE is right. HOWEVER, going for a twenty-minute walk--not power walk, but regular walk--with no headphones but just listening (to birds, to traffic, to leaves rustling) and, most importantly, to yourself, is very therapeutic. This may sound Polly-Anne-ish, but before you judge, just try it. Seriously. GO FOR A WALK. I guarantee you won't feel worse, and you might possibly feel better.

jamdls

Up until this week I dealt w/stress, after alcohol, with CHOCOLATE. I've given up chocolate (for how long I don't know) now and haven't had any stress since. I think a more productive way to deal with stress is exercise, I was a runner for years and didn't have even an ounce of stress left after a good run.

barb dwyer

stress?!?!?!?!?

did somebody say... stress!?!?!?!?!????

check out the older thread (old as ... last week) called 'prayers for barb dwyer' or something like that.

What do I do ?

I go to others to get help.

I came here.
And talked my head off.
Typed like a little heathen.

I was completely panic-ridden for over seven days.

BUt I didn't drink.
I didn't abuse my pain meds.

I probably bugged people here, moer than was my fair share...
but we don't drink because stuff happens.

We drink ... because we're alcoholics.

I didn't handle it like jesus would have...
but I got through it.

With a LOT of help... from my firends.

StayingAlive

Exercise. Replace your drinking with it. Exercise with the same level and intensity that you used to drink. Exercise is great for relieving stress and provides a measurable accomplishment for building self-confidence. It also relies on you and only you to do it, with nobody else to blame. You will feel better and look better.

NEOMARXIST

I find the serenity prayer to be invaluable to my recovery. I try to practice it's messge in all of my affairs.

I have never been so calm in my life as I am at the moment.

I used to get wound up about loads of stuff but since I have been in recovery my attitute towards things has totally changed. It's great to be chilled out without the need for any mind-altering "relaxants"!!!


peacex

tomvlll

Feeling stressed?
Proceed to step 12.
Reach out and help another alcoholic.

BadCompany

Stress? Lessee? For starters there is that third step, no longer having a whole universe to run greatly reduced my stress level, then there is that seventh step which took away my personal disaster making kit. Then there is that tenth step which keeps my disasters from going nuclear. Stuff like that.