penny74

Why do l think l need a drink ?
Been doing ok for 11 months now and all of a sudden all l can think about is that a drink will calm my nerves and l will sleep better.
"Go on.. take a large one .. you will feel a lot better"
"take a few and things will look different..."
That sort of thinking.
Advice welcome.

24hrsAday

well penny.. you would Feel Better for a very short Time! the problem is IF you are an Alcoholic (like Me) on the Other Side of Those Drinks.. In a Very Short Order You Would Feel 100 Times Worse!

Untoxicated

I agree with 24.

Congrats on 11 months - holy *bleep* I'd like to have that time under my belt!

The anxiety/insomnia you are experiencing will be as fleeting as the drinks you take. I'm only 19 days sober but can tell you that it's still all too fresh in my head.

Did you keep a journal on any of your benders? If so refer to all those crappy feelings you had and that should bring you back to why you wanted to stop in the first place.

Keep strong.

KenL

Never let those thoughts stay in your mind for long. Let them go out of your mind as soon as they come in. The more you dwell on them the more likely you'll be to act on them. Stay sober.

yeahgr8

I think you knew this day would come mate! It's time to get your ass down to an AA meeting and find out what changes are necessary inside as well as out to have that sober life that i know you want...think back to all we said...just go down and listen, even if it ends up you having that drink give yourself a chance.

I've done this before for a few months at a time...and i mean without cravings too, watching beer commercials and thinking wow i don't feel like a drink...then bam one day it comes back and it was all i could think about...working the steps and taking a good look at myself gave me a chance this time...don't go back there man!

Really hope you get to a meeting, in my experience you have a finite time to get down to one now...good luck my friend:-)

Stereosteveo

Been there done that repeatedly. In my case I ended up drinking again, and again, and again. For me it was obsessive (uncontrollable) thinking, just like the book describes:

p. 23
"There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game."
p. 30
"The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing."
p. 151
"There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it."

I did not understand the steps were designed to remove this kind of thinking.

p. 43
"Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power."

So I was NOT able to do this: "Never let those thoughts stay in your mind for long. Let them go out of your mind as soon as they come in."

Today I don't see "Happy, Joyous, and Free" on the label of a bottle of liquor. I see "Skull and Cross Bones". That is the miracle of it.

Slits

It's funny how the Alcoholic Obsessive Thinking (nagging) comes and goes over time without rhyme or reason. I am 8 months sober and have cycled through this many times. Thankfully right now I am on really solid ground. However when the Alcoholic "Committee" starts nagging me again I just have to remember my last Dozen or so Relapses, each one exponentially worse than the Last, to get my priorities straight again. Drinking to me now represents 30 minutes of Euphoria followed by Days and Weeks of Abject Misery, Suffering, and Despair. Why inflict that on yourself if you don't have to?

Nevertheless

Hello Penny
That is the alcoholic mind still trying to emerge. I had something like that happen at the 6 month mark. I wen't about 3 days thinking about it and almost gave in.
I brought it up at an AA meeting and also on here. I have been fine ever since.
I don't know why it came and wen't away, but I'm sure glad I didn't give in.
Just get it back in your mind.
Drinking isn't an option. I can't drink,I might as well forget about it. It just isn't an option. I'm an alcoholic, I just can't drink. Might as well forget about it.
As Carol has pointed out the actual craving only lasts a few minutes. So if you tell yourself this for a few moments it will go away.
Youve gone too far. Don't give in now.
Fred

Stereosteveo

I guess I must be in a different class of alcoholics here.
I was never able to "Think the drink away."
If that had been the case....well, drinking would have never been an issue in my life. I think with the best of them, believe me..