DarkestDays

Hi everyone ... I'm the new guy and I'm glad I found this site.

I'm a 34 year old male with a decade+ long drinking problem. I was unable to attend my family Christmas gathering this year thanks to this, so I'm getting really worried. I spent Christmas Eve and now Christmas Day alone. Not a good time.

I have an amazing job that pays me very well and I don't want to lose. Unfortunately, I have been taking a lot of days off recently due to withdrawal symptoms.

Last week I tried to quit and didn't have any alcohol for 5 days. It was extremely hard. Between the initial withdrawal symptoms (shaking, unsteady, dizzy) and the mental stuff (lonely, feelings of regret, bad memories) it was quite overwhelming. So I relapsed. Again.

I realize this is, overall, a willpower issue ... and I want out of it. I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to get out of this hole and still be able to keep my job and get my life back.

The time off and cost required for a proper medical rehab isn't a great option at this point.

I'd appreciate advice from anyone who has been through a similar situation.

cloud8

Welcome to SR Im glad your here and keep commin back, Im 47 and have had many sucsessful times in my life monitarily and socialy. Ive also lost it all over and over due to my alcoholisim, 3 years ago I ended up in jail no home no money and no friends to worry weather or not they would judge me. I lost it all because of withdrawls and other results of drinking and usin, I had to go to treatment as I couldent do it on my own and finally let someone help. I WAS OUT OF EXCUSES. I had to ask myself what was more important my life or them and the job, all can be replaced except me. I now after 3 years have a new job new life and new friends and coworkers, sometimes we have to give up in order to heal and get better, treatment saved my life, just thought i would share that with yoy thanks for posting and merry xmas,,

FanofJoeMcQ

Hang in there. You may be able to find a license alcohol counselor. I was in a similar situation in 1996. I found a counselor who helped me get thru withdraw and keep my job. I saw him every day and spent about four hours every Saturday and Sunday in counseling. Praying for you.

Nevertheless

Hello
Welcome to SR.
Quitting can be very difficult. You have to be ready to quit. I know you have heard of AA, but have you tried it?
Merry Christmas
Fred

TGFS

It will be the best present to give yourself this Christmas. It won't be easy, but this is my first sober holiday season in 35 years. It was the best.

Goat

Welcome, DD!

Spending the holiday alone sucks... I'm spending it alone too. I'm doing it sober, though, even though being alone is one of my primary drinking triggers.

Here's an idea... Indulge your desire to quit. Make it your present to yourself. Go to an AA meeting tomorrow, just to find out if it's for you... heck, there might even be an AA meeting somewhere today. If you're going to go through withdrawal, it's often helpful to pop in to the ER -- they are really good at helping you detox, and if you've been drinking steadily for a long time detox can be very dangerous.

Then, once you have tolerated the unpleasantness of the hangover, you will be free of it. You will have the year to try to fix what you've broken with your family, and next Christmas you can spend sober and happy.

I also find it very helpful to hang around on this website. The people here are great at being your sobriety cheering section.... We all want to see you happy and sober!

-Goat

coffeenut

I was a 30 year daily drinker. Now sober 18 months. When you get your life back....it's better than it ever was before.

FWIW, I don't think it's just a willpower issue. Please see a dr. for detox. And.....read all you can at SR...it's worth it!

Goat

I second that... And, really, did you get the good job you have by being a lazy slob all your life? If it really was just a willpower issue I think you'd have had it licked long ago.

But there are many here who have found the answer... read on, and I'm glad you're here with us!

-Goat

DarkestDays

I really appreciate everyone's advice ... it's amazing to see so many responses given that it's Christmas Day. I'm sure I'll be spending a lot of time around here.

And to coffeenut, I couldn't agree more that it's not just a willpower issue when I'm shaking and sweating. That's the physical issue that I need to get over first. I was referring to the overall problem ... which hopefully I can get past if I tell myself I have to.

basIam

Well, that never worked for me. . . sure I might put it down and stay sober for a while. but eventually, I would forget to tell myself "not to drink" or even convince myself that "this one won't hurt! you can control it this time"

Thank God I found a way in which I haven't had to rely on will power!

Man it really sucked going through life willing myself not to drink. . . too much work.

For me, the problem was removed. . . I've recovered.

24hrsAday

Sounds to me like you may Need a Professional Detox Supervised by a Doctor.. it may be Exspensive and Inconvenient.. but.. What is Your Life Worth?

Mark75

Welcome to SR!!

Drinking is not such a great option, either... Hey, maybe you can do it on your own, but it doesn't seem to be working for you very well. Reach out and at least maybe get some help from your physician.

This is a great place and you'll get a lot of support. You may need more right now than we can give.

If you want to recover, you've got to make it your highest priority. It's not just about will power. Willingness, honesty, willingness and more willingness. Find a recovery program that gives you a new purpose in life...

Keep coming back!!

Mark

DarkestDays

Not to sound condescending, but this is one of the reasons I've avoided AA.

I believe I have free will and am in charge of my own decisions ... that's why I brought up willpower. I've made some very bad decisions up to this point but I made them, and I am hoping to make better decisions in the future.

I very much believe in God (I'm not religious anymore ... now agnostic) ... but I feel that I am the one running the show now.

I just need to make better decisions in my life.

CarolD

D.D......the wisest decision I ever made was to join AA
and by living in the Steps....I found freedom and joy......

But maybe that is not what you are interested
in There are other recovery methods...you will
also meet SR members successfully sober who
do not use a specific method.

Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum...

littlebluedog

Hang in there. Please find a path to sobriety that works for you. AA has worked wonders in my life. This time next Christmas, you can sing an entirely different tune. Your choice. Merry Christmas to you and prayers your way.

yeahgr8

See i kind of got this before i walked into the rooms of AA, I had made all the bad decisions consistently over a period of years...why then would i trust myself to suddenly make a good decision after so many years of insanity, how the hell could i even expect myself to tell a good decision from a bad it wanst like all those years i thought i know what i think i will make another bad decision and stick to it?!...the sponsor and the program made sense to me...you tell me what to do, you have x years of sobriety and are happy with your life...thats what i want and everything i try to do or touch turns to **** so maybe i will try listening to someone else...good luck with your choices:-)

DarkestDays

Again, I appreciate all the advice given here. It's been a rough few days.

Regarding AA, I am by no means saying that isn't a great program ... from what I've read here it has been a lifesaver for so many, which is fantastic.

Personally I've just avoided it for years because I was under the false assumption (from friends and stuff posted online) that it was Christian-focused when I am looking for something more agnostic and spiritual.

Anyway, I didn't mean to turn this into a discussion about AA .. thanks again for the support and hopefully I can keep everyone updated on my progress.

CarolD

You are correct D.D. this thread is not an AA vs. ???
topic. All you want to do is to feel better I imagine.

Sooo... the safest way to de tox is best decided by
your doctor. Please visit or call yours for direction.

De tox/withdrawals usually does not mean going away to a
long term treatment center. The Salvation Army has free
short de tox centers in many areas. Many hospital ER's
are aalso knowledgeable.

You can't be certain this de tox will be the same
as your last one.....it's simply risky to do alone.

We have a link here for you to check out...with info
and some of our expereinces with initial withdrawal.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Hope this helps ....

Carol Star

Treatment $ is where you go to find out AA is free. Be careful detoxing. Do it with a doctor.....then go to AA and listen. Really listen and get a sponser. Surrender to win. You will never be alone and might like the AA family better than your bellybutton family.

Dee74

Hi DD

Welcome to SR.

I don't 'do' any programme, but I'll share my experience

For many years, I thought it was overall a willpower issue too.

I couldn't figure it out - I was a stubborn guy - most anything I worked for I got - eventually.

But not this - the more I struggled the deeper I got. I had a few 'wins' here and there with 'controlling' myself but I always, *always* lost it in the end.

What changed 20 years of struggle for me was not willpower, but acceptance.

I accepted I was an alcoholic and that I couldn't drink - at any time - without almost certainly suffering all those consequences we all know so well.

Once I accepted that, I looked for a support network that would work for me. For me for a variety of reasons that was SR - but most people here find face to face support is useful.

I used to drink all day everyday - I'm now nearly 3 years sober.

Good luck in finding what will work for you.
D